Old faces {Jamie

[shilohblakelysmith]

Shiloh had managed to spend another day just having a good time with her daughter. Their picnic had stretched from just lunch to all day, and now she was headed home. With her sleeping daughter in her arms. Shiloh knew that she could have just apperated home, but she didn’t want that. It was too quick, and she truthfully just wanted time to think in the cool winter air, with the dimming light of the sun shining on the sidewalk as she walked so carefully home.

Unlike most women Shiloh wasn’t scared to walk the streets at night. Damn most of the people in this part of town were actually scared to run into her on the streets, because well she wasn’t the nicest person in the world. She was actually a very successful death eater. And to make it worse she specialized in torture. So this young girl could seriously ruin your night.

Shaking al those thoughts out of her head she just rubbed the sleeping girls back and kissed her cheek as she mumbled the words mommy. That little girl was her life. She would do anything to make sure she was happy and ok, even if that meant killing the dark lady herself, even though she doubted that would ever be a problem.

Shiloh sighed though as she looked at the girl. Damn how she reminded her of Jamie so much. Her hair, her face, even her eyes (even though Shiloh herself had blue eyes). Emily’s just resembeled her fathers so much. It was like she could see her soul, just as she had sworn she could do to Jamie, that is before he broke her heart and left her in bed that morning four months pregnant! Damn that man.

Shiloh knew not too linger on the past. It was Jamie’s loss for not being here. For not seeing his little girl, while she got to spend every moment with the little girl. Just as her thoughts started to calm down she heard someone behind her… Being the slightly paranoid death eater she stuck her hand into her pocket pulling out her wand and replacing her hand on her daughters back as she turned around to see who was behind her…

[jamieblaketon]

The night was cold and dark as Jamie walked around with no aim or purpose.Its been so long .. will she still remember me? will she still love me ? what about our baby is it a boy or a girl? for so long I've been running from it and fearing what i might do as a father ..but i am such a coward.i mean my father was cruel bastard as many would say i am .. and often i wouldn't disagree but i cant take it any longer.I mean let go of the only things that mattered to me just cause i was scared .. but what if i ruin the kid? huh what if i am a horrible father?

He was caught up in his thoughts til he saw a woman that looked alot like Shiloh and well he had to follow her.The girl was carrying a child , small one at that too.Could it be ? my child ? seems awfully feminine to be a boy ,,, did i have a daughter ? i bet she looks just like her mother.he sighed softly and followed the woman more as she walked and then she finally turned and he could clearly see the face of the only woman he had ever loved."Its been a while now Shiloh .. " he said softly and stepped closer to her ,willing to take any punishment she saw fit for him.

[shilohblakelysmith]

Now standing here face to face to the one man she ever loved the young woman was shocked. Her hand holding her wand loosened and it fell to the ground. Just as her daughter might have if she wasn’t holding onto her mother. Shiloh’s facial expression was so shocked. She hadn’t seen Jamie since that night nearly five years ago, and now… He was here, standing in front of her. Hell he was following her! Nearly about to have a panic attack she felt her daughter move in her arms and open her bright blue eyes. “Mommy…” She whispered closing her eyes again. Shiloh, who was naturally calmed by her daughter, rubbed her back. “Shh go back to sleep.” She whispered before looking back at the man…

Shiloh was in such a state of shock she didn’t know what to do, but right now, right now to things were running threw her mind. One, don’t wake up Emily, and two cause him as much pain he had caused her when he left that night.

Laying the young child down on a bench covering her with her jacket she walked over picking up her wand and stepping right up to her ex lover. “Why in the hell are you here Jamie?!” she asked the anger clear in her voice. “Why are you back…Why did you have to come back and show your face again?!” she asked. All those old emotions were starting to run threw her mind now, all the old feelings for the man in front of her. Damn this man… Biting her lip she wanted to take a different approach. She was so hurt that she didn’t know anything else to do but cause him pain for this moment in time. Pointing her wand at her daughter and saying a simple silencing spell so the wouldn’t hear what was about to happen.

Looking at the man in front of him. “This is for leaving me Jamie…This is for leaving me when I was four months pregnant with your daughter..” She said pointing her wand at him “Crucio!” she said simply letting her eyes slightly fill up with tears as she watched the spell hit the man… She wanted him to feel every ounce of pain he caused her five years ago.

[jamieblaketon]

"I'm sorry Shiloh .. I'm willing to take whatever pain you can deal onto me .. i just want to know you're safe and our child is safe too "he said softly and felt ashamed of himself and felt that usual feeling of self-hatred rise and cause him to feel sick to his stomach.How many nights and days had he not spent ,cutting himself up and causing himself as much pain as he could to numb these feelings.He still loved her , he still longed to be with her.

The child woke for a what seemed to be a split second before falling asleep yet again.His beautiful baby-girl who had his blond hair but her mothers eyes."She is beautiful .. i know i don't deserve to see her .. i know that Shiloh "he struggled to keep calm to not wake his daughter and luckily his former love managed to solve that problem with a simple spell.

As she raised her wand ,he knew damn well he'd feel her fury and most of all he'd feel pain.HE knew he deserved it ,every bit of it and he wouldn't lift a finger to stop her even if he could if he only wanted too."Go ahead Shiloh .. its no worser than what i put myself trough these years"his voice was sad and soft as he awaited the pain that would surely come with a unforgivable curse such as the cruciatus spell.The pain ran trough his body and he seemed to be filled with this sweet but torturous pain.he trembled and fell to his knees and held his eyes locked on hers, he gave scream of pain but tried to mute them as his eyes brimmed with tears both from the pain of the curse but also from the self-hatred he felt.Part of him wanted to die at her hands while the other longer for her forgiveness

[shilohblakelysmith]

“Good because you are going to get pain Jamie… You hurt me! You hurt me worse than anyone in this world ever has, and Emily and I have been fine for the past four years, and its no thanks to you!” she spat quietly as she looked at her ex for a long moment not yet putting her daughter down. How she wanted to just hurt him, how she wanted to make him suffer worse than any of her torture victims had in the past, but at the same time, Shiloh wanted none of that. She just wanted him to hold her again, to tell her that he would never leave her. Tell her that he would be here for her forever, but she doubted that would ever happen, so the pain route it was, for now at least.

As she heard him speak of his, of their daughter she just looked at the sleeping child. “She is beautiful. She always has been. And no you don’t’ deserve to see her. I shouldn’t allow you to even look at her right now…” her words were cold, and almost heartless, but at this moment that’s how she felt. She felt heartless and cold, to him at least.

With her child resting silently on the bench she just watched him fall to his knees crying out in pain. She herself was actually crying, not in the same pain as him. But in a whole knew pain. A pain she hasn’t felt since he left her so many years ago. With her wand still pointed at him, she was just seconds away from ending this pain completely. From just saying those two simple words and putting him out of his life, but… As much as she wanted to do that, she couldn’t. She still loved him, and she still wanted her baby to have a father…

Dropping her wand completely she just looked at him. “Why can’t I do it Jamie…?” She whispered more to herself than to him. Why couldn’t she just kill him…? She knew why, but she couldn’t let him know that. She couldn’t let him know she still loved him. But seeing him like this. Seeing him in pain, she just couldn’t help it. Wiping her own eyes she just looked at him. Walking closer and bending down in front of him. Just taking her index finger placing it under his chin lifting his face up to look at her. “I have every intention to kill you Jamie… every one in the world… But something wants let me…” She whispered so truthfully as she looked down at the only man she ever loved.

[jamieblaketon]

His tears fell to the ground and his heart felt like it was breaking and crumbling into tiny pieces.He knew he had done everything wrong and he should have his punishment, he knew she would want him to suffer and hell he knew he deserved to suffer for what he has done to her and their child."Shiloh .. i know and I'm not gonna stop you .. you think i have enjoyed being away from you .. its been worse of a pain than anything you could do to me ... i wanted to be there for you , for her . but i couldn't .. because of my own selfish reasons .."he breathed in and tried to focus on something but the pain that still echoed trough whole body.

He looked at her and saw how deep he had stabbed her with his betrayal ,for it could not be called anything but betrayal.He left her and his child for fear.He truly was worthless , he sighed heavily and waited for the killing curse as he was certain shed kill him.Part of him was relieved by that thought while the other half wanted so desperately to live and be there for his daughter, but instead of cursing him.she had dropped her want and he heard those words from her sweet lips."i don't know .. maybe you still feel what i feel , what I've always felt for you ...love ... i never meant to hurt you Shiloh ..its my own stupidity and fear that had me running from the best things that could happen to me " his words were gentle and sad as silent tears slid down his cheeks and for once he didn't bother wiping them away and trying not to feel. "i know you do Shiloh ...i know and i wont stop you if thats what you truly want .. then go ahead kill me .. i cant keep running , i cant keep these feelings buried..." he was sure that this would end happily but perhaps he had a hope , a small chance of happiness. if only she loved him back.

[shilohblakelysmith]

Shiloh stayed silent for a long moment. Just processing everything he just said. Every single word was running threw her head again and again. She did want to kill him. She did want to cause him pain she wanted all of this, but she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this to the man she truly loved. Falling back on her but she just starred at him. Starred at him for a long moment. IF he would have been any other person, any other man she would have just struck him down right there, but no, she couldn’t do that to him. Jamie was one of the two people in this world she couldn’t kill. The other being her daughter… So starring down at him her face was so confused, so pained, and for once in her life, Shiloh Smith did not know what to do. She truthfully didn’t’ know what to do.

Looking at Jamie she could tell he was being truthful. She could tell that it hurt him to be away from her. She could tell all of that, and yes it made her feel a bit better, but then again it made her feel horrible. “I know that Jamie! I know what I feel for you! I know what I have felt for you for so many years, but you left me Jamie! And I don’t know if I can ever trust you gain. I don’t know!” she said. Shiloh put both her hands on his cheeks just starring at him. “Then you let your stupidity ruin us Jamie.” She whispered wiping his tears with her thumbs.

Was that actually the truth? No. Shiloh wanted Jamie just as much as she did back then. She wanted to be with him every day, just as she did with Emily. And she defiantly wanted Emily to have that father she was always asking about. So as she sat there with her hands on his cheeks she just listened to him talk, Talk about if she really wanted to kill him that he wouldn’t top her. That broke her right then. The tears she was holding didn’t hold themselves back anymore. Just wanting comfort she wrapped her arms round his neck just hugging him. “I don’t want that. I don’t want to know that I killed the one man I loved… I… I am not going to kill you… Even though a part of her wants too, I know I can’t.” she whispered not knowing what in the hell was wrong with her at this moment in time.

[jamieblaketon]

Jamie looked at Shiloh ,his heart aching for her with every beat.He hated to see this pain written on her beautiful face and how he wished he could go back and take it all away. "I'm sorry .. its all i can say .. Shiloh .. i never stopped loving you .. i loved from the moment i laid my eyes on you ..i ruined things i know .. i screwed up big time so go ahead kill me , cause i cant take being without you anymore " he held his head low and waited for her.As time passed and she did not kill him or curse him ,his hope grew a little that perhaps he could redeem himself.

He felt her around his neck and immediately wrapped his round her waist."i Love you Shiloh .. i always have and always will .. no matter how far i run , i cant run away from those feelings ..This time i swear , if you let me ..it will be different ..i wanna be there for our child , i wanna be there for you "he placed a few gentle kisses on her neck like he used to do."please .. my goddess ..i am for once in my life begging .. i cant be without you ..i know that now " he didn't want to ever let he go again, he had always worried that Trent would have stolen her back while he was away.He still held a grudge towards the man for taking Shiloh away and then choosing that hastings girl instead.He was a fool but that fool had done him a great favor by doing so.He was the one who got to see the real Shiloh , To love her.

[shilohblakelysmith]

Shiloh just buried her face into his neck, not really knowing what to do anymore. She had always been the one who was given orders. With her death eater duties she was always told what to do, well more like who to torture. She never had to just go out and find someone to torture. Even at school she is giving a basic outline of what she needs to teach, so saying this Shiloh has never been the one to have to decide anything for her, and right now she didn’t know what to do.

As he spoke and his lips went over all those familiar spots the tears just poured worse. How was she supposed to say no to him now! How was she supposed to push him completely out of her life when he loved her! When he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t be with her! How he wanted to make a difference and try this all again! How, tell her how she is supposed to tell this man, the man she has loved for so long no… She couldn’t. But, she wasn’t the most important person in her life anymore. Emily was. Emily came first, and she couldn’t let him into Emily’s life if he was just going to get scared and leave again.

With teary eyes she pulled up a little from his comforting grip to stare him in the eyes. Her shiny blue eyes were now red and slightly puffy. “I… I don’t know Jamie.” She whispered looking down slightly. “If you leave again you won’t just be hurting me. You will be hurting my… I mean our daughter. I can’t let you do that. I can’t put her threw loosing the father that she has wanted for so many years. I can’t do that to her… I could live with it if you left again. I could push it aside and suffer like I did before, but I am not doing that to her. I am not doing that to my baby…” she said placing her hand on his cheek. Even though this was true, she couldn’t’ just say no to him right this moment. So closing her eyes and gulping she looked back at him. “Come home with me… Stay the night, we can talk, and in the morning… I will see… If you are still there, I will see what I can do about letting you back in… Letting you back into mine and Emily’s life…”

[jamieblaketon]

Jamie felt ashamed of the pain he had caused her and their child ,their beautiful baby girl and though he knew he couldn't take it back, he could make it better this time around."Id love to go home with you and don't worry .. I'm not running anywhere .." he smiled and kissed her forehead and cupped her cheeks."I love you and i know i will love our daughter..i spent my time trying to run away from my fears ,, but i cant run anymore babe ...i cant deny the fact that i want this family and i want you ...Shiloh ..i never meant to hurt either of you two but i left for fear that i might ruin the child , become just as bad a father as my own was " he whispered those words for her.


He had never ever shared his past with anyone but her and it would stay that way, because she was the only one he could trust enough to talk and share about his awful past."Babe .. if you only knew how miserable i have been without you ...i need you with me .. i cant live without you and you know that damn well.. you're the only woman to ever get a hold on my heart like this." he kissed her cheeks and looked into her deep blue eyes and didn't want to let her go.please forgive me Shiloh ..i need you .. i need our daughter .. I'm losing my mind without you and i need to know our daughter ..i need to have someone to keep my sane .. if i lose you then id surely wither and die ... please for the love of god ,don't tell me you've given up on me... He pressed his lips gentle to her temples to show her that he was all hers if she wanted him, if she decided to take him back

[shilohblakelysmith]

With his lips on her forehead, and him speaking of how he loved her just made everything so much harder. He left her for four, nearly five years, and now she was just about to forgive him. Well not forgive him, but give him a second chance. Shiloh didn’t know how she was doing it. Didn’t know how she had, they had, managed to just well pick up right were they left on in a since. Yeah she was upset at him, but he still loved her, and she still loved him, isn’t that all that matters? No. She still had to worry about Emily, she had to worry about how she would handle this, and right now she was going with her gut instinct which was saying let him come back…

With his hands now caressing her cheeks, and his eyes locked on hers she nodded. “I think I know how you feel Jamie. I was miserable without you too. I didn’t know what to do. I was so lost, and... All I could think about was if maybe just maybe you would come back…” She whispered starring him deep into those all so familiar eyes. “Jamie, I never stopped loving you. Not for one minute. I tried to stop, I tried to get over you, but it didn’t work.” She stated feeling his lips go over her temples. Closing her eyes she just took a deep breath before looking back at him.

Shiloh wanted to make sure all those feelings were still there, and that she just wasn’t upset. Moving one of her hands to his cheeks she placed her lips lightly on his. Just kissing the man like she had so many times before. As soon as their lips touched all those emotions were verified. She was still in love with him. She did still need him. Which was exactly what he wanted, she was sure of that. Pulling away she just smiled slightly. “I am giving you another chance. One more chance, and if you hurt me, no… If you hurt my, I mean our daughter, I wll kill you Jamie. I wont second think it, because Emily is the most important person in my life, and if you hurt her… You will die, because I am not going to let her experience that pain I went threw… So I am warning you now.” She stated stroking his cheek with her thumb. “Come on, before she wakes up…”

[jamieblaketon]

Hearing her soft and sweet words ,well it left Jamie feeling a rush of those old feelings again."i know baby ... we belong together...ive always felt that way ..i would never hurt you or our daughter on purpose again...baby i need you guys before i lose my mind " he kissed her lips more after her sweet lips were planted on his.He needed her more than anything nd he would be damned if he was that big of a fool again.He had screwed up enough in his life and she was the best damn thing ever in his whole life.

"ah .. Yeah come on lets go to your place babe" he smiled softly and looked at his little girl.She was so beautiful and peaceful in her sleep.He was finally going to be with the woman he loved and his little baby girl.He caressed Shiloh`s hair gently and kissed her temple and smiled happily."ah baby ..I've missed you two so much and you have no idea of how much I've needed you " he looked at Shiloh , he didn't ask to carry his daughter as he knew he was being given alot by just this second chance , he would take it slow and let things happen in their natural order.There was no way he`d ruin it by rushing things too much.

[shilohblakelysmith]

Standing there looking over at him as he spoke she truly didn’t know what to say. She agreed with every word he just spoke. They were meant to be together, or so she thought. Shiloh had even once, when they were first together had the dream of marrying that man someday. Becoming a family, and when she was granted something that would complete that family, a baby, even though she was terrified, she was happy at the same time. That was until he left her that broke all her dreams of a normal family. Until now. Until he showed up begging for her to take him back, and some how she said yes to it… Now shaking that out of her head she kissed him yet again already missing the taste of his lips on her own. Pulling away she smiled. “I agree. I use to have this crazy dream of use having our own little house, and our own little family. A little girl and a little boy. I know its crazy, but that’s what I pictured.” She said kissing his lips very lightly as she took his hands in hers.

Standing there she just smiled at the man as he spoke. He was going to go home with her and their daughter. Emily was the light in her world, and now she was going to get to share that little girl with her father. That made Shiloh smile. Squeezing his hand Shiloh looked over at her daughter. Walking over she picked up the sleeping child repositioning her so she was comfy, but the child was getting heavy, and it was getting harder and harder for her to carry her. Even though her house was right around the corner she sighed. “Jamie, do you mind carrying her. Emma is getting quiet heavy, and I don’t think I can carry her much longer, without the fear of dropping her…” She asked hoping she wasn’t asking too much of the man.

[jamieblaketon]

The kiss she gave him sent shivers of pleasure and happiness trough his body like little lightning bolts and Jamie smiled brightly after the kiss ,which had him weak in the knees.His woman knew how to make him happy and as she talked about her dream a dream that he had for a long time now.He wanted more than anything to have her ,their daughter and perhaps a baby boy and to find the perfect home for them all.To share all those moments."then why don't we ? i want the same Shiloh , it just took me some time to realize that i can have that and the only one i want that life with is you .. You're my goddess Shiloh and i couldn't be more happy that you took me back ..i know i was an ass who left , a coward and because of that i missed out on so much. her first steps and first words .. "he had a sad gleam in his eyes as he thought about that.

"ah .no of course i don't mind .. i would love to hold my baby girl in my arms as i have longed for , for such a long time now "he smiled at the woman of his dream, the only woman he would ever be capable of loving.He had a bad past but she never judged him in anyways back then.He took Emily in his arms and looked at the little sleeping angel in his arms now."she is beautiful , just like her mother and well i hope she has my sense of humor " he teased with a smile as it felt so right to be with her."God this is the best day of my life and this time i swear ,I'm not gonna miss a thing" He smiled a bit and kissed her cheek sweetly

[shilohblakelysmith]

Shiloh had wanted a normal relationship, a normal life since she was about 20. When her engadgement with Trent went downhill, and she knew that now she had to live on her own. Right then and there she decided she was going to get married one day, she was going to find that one man she didnt have to use her charm on, like her mother told her about before she died and was taken in by the Lott's... And then she found Jamie. He was the one thing in her life she charrished more than anything. Her dreams expanded when she met him. She wanted to have that beautiful wedding, move to the perfect little house, and two or three kids...and now she could have her dream come true. Now Jamie was back and could make all those dreams come true.With a smile she looked up at him and nodded lightly. "I would like that...I would like that a lot." she stated with a smile before grabbing his arm as he took their daughter.

She didnt cgrab grab it just were she could use apperation. With a smile she nodded. "she is beautiful, but I just think its the veela part in her. She is half...God only knows how we are going to have to beat the boys off of her when she is older." saying that she used the apperation method and made them appear in Em's bedroom. Taking her from him, which seemed cruel, she layed him down and kissed her head. "Night sweetheart." she didn't want to linger in there and wake her so she took Jamies hand and pulled him out the room shutting the door behind them. "You can talk to her tommorow...K not right now.' she said

Shiloh smiled at him and walked to the living room sitting down on the couch looking at Jamie. "SIt..." this was defiantly going to be the best night she has had in a vert long time.