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Post by shayne on Dec 18, 2010 18:58:16 GMT -5
Shayne felt a small chill go through her body as she walked down the cool stairs from her dormitory as her feet were bare. She now regretted leaving her slippers the edge of her bed instead of putting them on her feet. Instead she just shrugged it off as she gripped the celebrity magazine in her hands and her boobs bounced slightly up and down under the thin red hoodie she was wearing. She reached the bottom of the stairs and stood still for a moment and looked around as her black and white checkered pajama pants grazed the floor just slightly.
Shayne should have known by now to wear more clothes into the common room, there was always quite a draft, but she always thought the less amount of clothes the better, gets the boys imagination going. All she was wearing under her tight hoodie and pajama pants was a bra and a pair of boy short underwear. She liked the boy short style better, they shaped her ass better and made it look rounder and plumper. She liked to give them something to look at but never to touch.
Her eyes scanned the room looking for an empty seat to read the most recent magazine her father had sent her. He received a slew of them at home just for her and each week he would send her a new one on her bequest. Just as she found the only empty seat in the place her heart dropped as she laid eyes on the person sitting directly across from the empty arm chair. Anton Alistair Moody; the bane of her existence. Just the sight of him made her stomach turn in a knot and gag a tiny bit. They had grown up together, even though he was two year older than she was, their fathers worked at the same law firm and he had known her since she was born.
Just the thought of him seeing her running around in diapers at a summer picnic made her shiver. She did not take comfort in the fact that, he, above all people knew more about her than her own father did. Albeit her father made up for it with buying her things, and I mean a lot of things, at least he stayed out of her shit. Not Anton, he knew all and let her know it. He was the one person in school she stayed away from, with everyone else she was fearless and made sure they knew it.
At last she decided to take the seat before anyone else could. She walked over and with out making eye contact with him sat down and immediately dove onto her magazine. This was the only kind of reading she did, she even got other students to explain to her what the reading for her classes was about. She was not about to waste her valuable time reading something that someone else could read for her. While flipping a page she could not help but sneak a peak at him over the top of the magazine.
There he was, sitting smugly across the table doing lord knows what. Shayne didn't know what was worse, the fact that she did and had always found him slightly attractive in a bad boy way, or that their fathers had decided for them when they were very young that the two would be married when she was of age. Not if she had anything to say about it though, however it was a term of the multi-billion dollar inheritance that both of them would be receiving when they were twenty-one. They had to wait til they were 21 cause despite Shayne's privileged up bringing her father, for some un-godly reason wanted her to earn a living for herself for a little while. A little too late, if you asked Shayne.
But like it or not there he was sitting across from her, the bane of her existence, her betrothed[not that anyone else knew mind you] and the one constant throughout her entire life. . . . . How would she survive. |
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Post by anton on Dec 19, 2010 11:02:22 GMT -5
She seems dressed in all the rings...
Of past fatalities...
So fragile, yet so devious...
She continues to see it...
Climatic hands that press...
Her temples and my chest...
Enter the night she came home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] Anton was clearly disappointed. After leaving the castle three nights in a row he still had not found what he was looking for. The dark circles under his eyes was proof he was not sleeping well. His short temper only showed that his patience was growing even shorter. Tonight if he did not find that which he sought, he was fairly sure someone else would die instead. His dark eyes moved over the group of fellow Slytherins. Even the bravest of them would steer clear of him when he was in a foul mood. Anton liked this though, he would rather go undisturbed while he collected his thoughts. He set aside the book he was pretending to read, and took another sip of the scotch he was drinking. The warm, amber liquid flowed down his throat, and he smile an evil sneer as he set it back down. He did not care with rules, no one dare oppose him in the school. It was widely known he was involved in the Wizarding Mafia, and the rumor of his dark mark had floated around faster than news of the ending lock-down. Anton did not comment, but he had started wearing long sleeved shirts that did more to feed fire to these rumors, than to stem the flow of whispers. Anton did not care, this was his way. Since he was young he had learned to allow other to think whatever they wished. They did not matter to him. In fact, only a chosen few people mattered to him. He sighed and looked acroos the way. Oddly, his gaze came upon one such person. He never admitted it to her, and probably never would; but, she was important to him... in his own dark way. Shayne Wentworth. She is everything and more...
The solemn hypnotic...
My Dahlia bathed in possession...
She is home to me...I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse...
But the stress is astounding...
It's now or never she's coming home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] The dual nature of their relationship always made him pleased to know her. His love for her had not fully developed, but he was not an idiot. He knew it was there, crawling like spiders under the surface of his dead skin, at least in his imagination. At the same time, he loathed the spoiled brat. She was always getting the things she wanted because her fool of a father did not know how to show her he cared in any other way. Whomever married this bitch was going to have their hands full. Sadly, Anton thought of the arrangement their fathers had made over a case of rum one night, long ago. Anton was suppose to marry this wretch, bed her in some dark coffin of a bed chamber, and live with her in the coldness of marriage for the rest of his life. The rest of her life was more like it. He would kill the whore before he would allow such things as that to happen. Then again, bedding her in any chamber would not be so much of a bad things. He looked over her small, tight body, and smirked. Yes, she would be pleasant to break in on the sexual side of the bedroom door. He did not think she had been with anyone, and he was experienced enough to know that this made her a prize worth claiming. Still, he had known her for so long, and the arrangement of marriage would make fucking her something more serious than a casual dipping of his prick into another bitch. No, it would mean more, and this is why he has hesitated in claiming her as his own. That, and the fact that making her squirm knowing he is always with someone different makes him smile. It is well known he has many conquests, his sexual habits are legendary in the darker corners of the common room. It had to be obvious that she would know of such things. Hard to say what caught my attention...
Fixed and crazy, Aphid attraction...
Carve my name in my face, to recognize...
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] He wished the room was less crowded. Then maybe he could release his bad mood and actually hold a decent conversation with the younger Slytherin. Sometimes, on a rare occasion, the two actually got along. Several times in their past, they had almost got close. A kiss was shared once, last term, under the stars on the Astronomy tower. He had met her there to discuss the latest owl her father had sent. The man had gone so far to actually pick out his young daughter's wedding dress. He had found her and thought to make fun of her for the situation, but when he came up behind her tears were flowing from her soft eyes, and her cheeks were well wet. Anton almost left, but he could not force his feet in the right direction. It was the first time he had ever greeted her without his normal sarcasm in his voice. It was that night that something deep inside his cold heart had blossomed and began to grow. It was like a small seed of warmth had been planted, and no matter how he fought with it, the plant continued to want to take root and grow. She showed him the owl, unable to find the words, and Anton read it twice. He could not believe that the man would go that far, so early. He sighed, balled up the parchment, and tossed it to the ground. Without a word, Anton had taken the smaller girl in his arms, and held her while her body shivered with the tears. Anton had lifted her chin as he prepared to say something clever, something rude about her father to make her laugh, but instead their lips had touched. A jolt of electic danced down his body as she kissed him back. Under the stars, all ice melted, and Anton was not the same Slytherin he had always been. He had dropped his defenses in that moment, and stood naked before her... in the sense that he was himself and not the person he allowed everyone else to see. They sat in the dark the rest of the night, not talking much, but holding each other and trying to make sense of the world in which they lived. I'm a slave, and I am a master...
No restraints and, unchecked collectors...
I exist through my need, to self oblige...
She is something in me, that I despide...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] The good feeling did not last long. It was her, in fact, that had returned things to normal the next day. Anton had approached her preparing to take her aside and talk to her, tell her what he had felt, tell her that he was starting to fall in love with her. He had sat up all night thinking about her, and what he should do. He made up his mind to love her, his heart was already moving in that direction. He moved up to her, her small body surrounded by her friends. Anton had asked to speak with her, and she said "Why would I want to speak to you?" Her friends had laughed, and Anton's heart was immediately wrapped in a sheath of ice thicker than ever before. His eyes narrowed as he looked to her sharply, and his lips moved into a smirk. Anton glared to her friends before looking back to her, "I would imagine it would be about why your father insists on buying you a cheap white wedding dress when he should know there is no chance in hell you would marry as a virgin!" Anton had lifted an eyebrow as her friends begun to question her. With a smirk, he turned his back to her and walked away. It took him a few moments to pull himself from those thoughts. When he blinked he found that he had been staring at her. He coughed, looked away, and took another sip of his drink. Anton would not give her the pleasure of knowing what he had almost felt for her in a moment of weakness. He would never allow those words to cross his bitter lips. She did not deserve him. Anton thought she was a cold hearted bitch, and love would never find her. She would rot in a whorehouse somewhere, spending her daddy's money on shit she did not need, living a life of a lie. And why should Anton care? Why would he even give her a second thought? In his mind he saw her soft eyes on that night, tasted her on his lips, and felt her in his arms. How he hated her. How he hated to love her. She isn't real...
I can't make her real...
She isn't real...
I can't make her real... [/color][/font][/size] |
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Post by shayne on Dec 19, 2010 22:02:45 GMT -5
 Shayne just happened to look up at just the right moment and realized he was practically staring right at her. She had just enough time to stare deeply into his eyes before he looked away. Her heart dropped as she stared into those beautiful deep dark piercing eyes. She had only felt this way once before and her mind immediately took her back to that moment. Standing in the Astronomy Tower waiting for him, tears rushing down her face. How dare her father do this, she was only fourteen, she still had three years before her and Anton were even supposed to get married. Buying her a dress was way out of line and over stepping his bounds.It was as she was wiping a tear away from her cheek that she heard him come up behind her, when Shayne turned around and looked at him; something was different in his face, it wasn't as hard as she remembered. there was something soft about his features. Shayne didn't linger on the thought for too long though, too much shit going on with her to worry about without having to dissect Anton as well.She walked a few steps towards him and not being able to find the words, for the first time ever; she just handed him the OWL and looked away. At that moment she had lost all sense of time, it could have been 30 seconds, then again it could have been 30 minutes; all she kept thinking was that her life was unraveling before her eyes. She usually had such control over anything and everything in her life, she felt as if it was spinning out of control. Also she was angry at her father, which she had never been before in her life.
 The next thing she knew she looked up and saw Anton walking towards her. She hadn't even had a second to think before he was inches away from her, then his arms were around her and he was ..... what?, comforting her? But strangely enough it felt right, like she fit there. For some reason all the hate and disdain she had for him had melted away. She felt safe for the first time in her life, like she didn't have to take care of herself or anyone else for that matter. He would protect her. Shayne closed here eyes for a moment and a small smile had crossed her lips. She then felt chills go down her spine as his finger touched her chin and lifted her head up. It was then that their eyes locked. It was that moment that she was taken back to . It was that moment again that she was engulfed by his eyes. His eyes which were normally dead and dark, at this moment were deep, warm and inviting. Shayne had no idea he could be this way, and the safe feeling she felt grew larger with every second his eyes were staring in hers. For a moment he looked as if he was going to speak, something witty of course, to make her laugh; he was always talented at that. It was then that he surprised her more than ever before, and even she surprised herself. He kissed her, she was kissing him back, and she realized that she was enjoying it throughly.
 The rest of the evening was magical, as if something in a fairy tale or a wildest dream she could never even imagine. They sat in silence as the stars twinkled above them and just held each other. He had no idea what that meant to her, or how it made her feel, nor would he never know. When they had finally parted she did not want to leave ther sanctuary, thats what that evening had made the astronomy tower for her. Ever since then whenever she is feeling insecure or down about herself; which she never tells anyone, it would ruin her; she would come here and somehow it would make her feel better. She knew that Anton had something to do with that, and she could never fully hate him again because he had given her someplace to go and feel safe, like nothing could touch her. When ever she would step foot on that top step and into the large room she would go back to that moment they shared together; where for a moment everything was perfect, life was perfect. But we all know that can not last.
As Shayne was walking back to her dorm, with in her stomach, for the first time, butterflies, her mind went into over drive. She did what all girls do, no matter how bad ass or hard core they are; over analyze it and pick away at the details. Shayne however, being that so much of her life, even at a young age, was full of despair, only focused on the negatives. That this was Anton, the boy who she had known all her life and hated with every inch of her being; Anton, the boy her father had arranged a marriage with without even consulting her or thinking about what she wanted -- and Shayne was used to getting her way; Anton, the biggest man whore at Hogwarts and then there she was. Shayne, an albeit sassy girl who has always got something to say, but who had never been past second base with a guy and to tell you the truth she was scared. Scared of getting involved with someone then the possibility of what happened to her parents happening to her; scared that Anton would be dissapointed with her in the bed room and in life when he found out she was not the slut everyone believed. She thought about it all night and in the end she had talked herself into deciding she woudl pretend it never happened, because he would probably do the same thing and it would probably be best for all parties involved. As she thought about what happened next her heart broke all over again, though it hurt she kept a look of contentment on her face. When he spoke to her the next day and asked to speak to her she shoudl have taken a quick second to think about it and replied with sure, but instead she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, like nothing happened, like she hadn't felt anything the night before. Shayne had regretted it ever since.
 She pulled herself back to the present and snuck a peek of him; he was half way done with his drink now and all Shayne wanted was a cigarette. That was another reason why she hated him so much, when she was twelve over summer holidays he had caught her smoking and threatened to tell anyone and everyone. She still didn't know why he was keeping it quite, but it hung over her head twenty-four/seven. She would never know if there would be another chance for them, she ruined it pretty hard-core and did not know if she could ever fix it, want to, or get the chance. Her dad still had her dress hanging up in the wardrobe in a garment bag, every time she went home it was a painful reminder of what she had done and what could have possibly been. His eyes hypnotized her, and she had no bloody idea why. It is what confused her the most but also intrigued her to keep him around. When they were real little, he was seven she was five; they got along great, she still had no idea what happened. She still treasured one day they shard together; they were riding bikes down a dirt road and he had actually found a a creek that led into a deep forest. He had also suggested they go on an adventure, she agreed of course; he was older and she admired him in her own way. They walked hand in hand often as young kids do, they followed the stream for a long time until they came upon this large tree which seemed to be situated in the middle of the forest.
 It had thick low branches, good for climbing, and a lot of them. Shayne took off right away, letting go of his hand and grabbed ahold of the tree with everything she had, and she fell flat on her ass. He laughed for a second, naturally, then walked over to her, not only helped her up but gave her a boost into the first crook of branches. Of course she stood up there, looked down at him and said with attitude "I could have done it myself" hands on her hips and all. She was sassy even as a five year old. Then to top it off when she got about 20 feet up she got scared. She clung to the branch she was on and screamed for him to come and get her. She had threatened to just drop then he would have to explain to her father why his only daughter was broken. Anton climbed up the tree and she climbed on his back, even at seven he was strong, and carried her down. It was a good day. But those days were gone, and now she was sitting across from the man that boy had become, not practically a shred left of the seven year old, except for those eyes.
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Post by anton on Dec 22, 2010 9:49:53 GMT -5
She seems dressed in all the rings...
Of past fatalities...
So fragile, yet so devious...
She continues to see it...
Climatic hands that press...
Her temples and my chest...
Enter the night she came home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] The distance between them was astounding. Only a few feet, but yet miles away. He finished his drink, set the small glass aside, and looked back up to her. The bitter taste in his mouth was more from the hot liquid, that from looking at her. For some reason the earlier distaste he had for her seemed to have melted away with the memories he had floated through. Only moments previous he would have been happy to have slapped the shit out of her, smirked, and walked away. Yet, Anton felt he could never hurt her, to strike her would only hurt himself. It was odd the mixture of emotions he had dancing through his system as he glanced at her. Her features were soft, seductive, warm. Her eyes were glorious, dark orbs of desire. She was everything he thought of beauty, and much more. He had noticed that she had developed into a woman, and caught the ways the other boys looked at her. It more than bothered him, and he had removed several would be suitors on more than one occasion. Anton did not mind making others move away from her. Even if he knew he would never claim her for himself. Being forced into an arranged marriage was not something he could tolerate, even if it was with someone he could see on his arm. He hid his desire of her in his conquests of others. He looked away and tried to mentally swallow those thoughts. They were not productive, and would only lead to more pain. She had hurt him once, and it would never happen again. No, he was a wall of ice when it came to her. Anton never noticed the small puddles. She is everything and more...
The solemn hypnotic...
My Dahlia bathed in possession...
She is home to me...I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse...
But the stress is astounding...
It's now or never she's coming home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] Just as he thought he was well in control of his emotions, a single image moved into his mind. Yule Ball, only two years ago. Her dress was cream colored, and was a perfect blend of her skin tones. Pearls sparkled through the cloth, and a diamond necklace her father had sent her laid over the swell of her breasts. Her hair was up, with a long plait running down the back. She was breathtaking. She was perfect. She was love. Her movements were graceful, her feet seemed to float above the dance floor, and when she smile he felt he could never look at another woman in his life. The way she moved to the music made his heart flutter, his hands tremble, and his knees almost buckle. Even the way her mouth moved as she sung with the music had made Anton feel weak. She could have asked anything of him that night, and he would have killed to give it to her. He had never, in all the years he had known her, thought she looked more beautiful. The only bad spot on that night was... Shayne was dancing with another guy. Her date, a Ravenclaw a year her senior. She had not even looked in Anton's direction that night. She never saw his dark eyes watching her, wishing for her, longing to step in and hold her. He had no date, never bothered with one. He found these events to be boring, and pointless. However, his visions of her would haunt him two years later while he sat in the common room and stole quiet glances at her. He pretended not to look at her, yawning, stretching, even pretending to be interested in passing conversation with another Slytherin boy. However, his mind seems to be cursed to be placed firmly on her. He could not fight the memories away. They had burst in like a flood, and almost pulled him under their deep waves. Hard to say what caught my attention...
Fixed and crazy, Aphid attraction...
Carve my name in my face, to recognize...
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] People say time heals all wounds. Anton thinks that is a load of bullshit. He has never healed, only learned to hate. And Anton had become a master of that fine art. He hated everyone equally. He hated everything equally. He spend all his time feeding his hate, learning how to use it as a weapon. All his goals in life were dedicated to the art of hate, destruction, and making sure he was never hurt again. Every single thing he did in life was to make sure he came out ahead of the game. No one got the best of him, and when they did Anton would go out of his way to make that person miserable. If that person was immune to misery, Anton would target their friends, family, loved ones. He did not care who he hurt, as long as he did not get hurt. This all came from the way she had ignored him in their past. The hate built up inside him, burning him like a torch of madness. And the breaking point, where all that fire turned to dead ice, had been the day after he decided he loved her more than life. She had acted like he did not exist, that all they had shared meant nothing... like it never happened. Since then he had gone on a terror reign of hate, making everyone suffer. No one was immune, and everyone steered clear of him as an enemy. It could have all been different, he could have been a changed person, but she killed it for him. Everything. He blamed her, he hated her for it. He hated her for not wanting him, not knowing how he had felt, not even looking his way with a single kind look. He hated her more than he hated anyone else he had ever known. I'm a slave, and I am a master...
No restraints and, unchecked collectors...
I exist through my need, to self oblige...
She is something in me, that I despise...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] Anton loved her.
It was plain to see, if one knew where to look. Anton hid his emotions well. They were secure in a web of hate. But the ice cracked on occasion. Sometimes it dripped down his frigid heart. Sometimes it pooled at his feet. Sometimes, if you caught him at the right moment, it was obvious what was inside. Anton loved her... and he hated her. All at the same time. She isn't real...
I can't make her real...
She isn't real...
I can't make her real... [/color][/font][/size] |
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Post by shayne on Dec 24, 2010 5:40:55 GMT -5
Shayne cozied up into the chair a little bit more wondering what was going through his mind at this very moment. She would have given the pearl and diamond necklace her father had given her for her fourteenth birthday to find out. That mind of his was so dark, deep, and twisted she wondered if it ever had a happy thought. She had stopped reading the magazine ten minuted ago and had been staring blankly at the same page since then Her mind was racing with questions without answers, ones she would never get. She looked around the room nonchalantly for a second and realized only a few people were left. She wished with all her heart that they would bugger off for a chance for a few moments alone with him. She felt a chill, which was odd since she was sitting only a few feet away from the roaring fire, she glanced at the fire and realized it was dying. She put aside her magazine and got up.
She stole small glances at him as she fed the fire with more wood, his face was cold and emotionless. When the flames were finally dancing wildly in the fire place she returned to her chair and picked up the magazine to continue the rouse. She couldn't stop stealing glances at him, it was like a nervous tick that she couldn't get rid of. Her next glance however shocked her. The flames from the fire had lit his face and brought warmth to his features, the stubble across his face were casting shadows and made him look older, like a man who had been through a lot. Shayne stopped herself at this thought then realized it was probably because he had been through a lot. She did not know too many details but she knew his father had died and Shayne being at the funeral, wasn't under the impression that he grieved properly; she knew his mother was in St. Mungos and she knew that he had not handled that properly either.
Sometimes she wished that she could make everything better for him, she knew he had a heart in their somewhere and she knew that she was probably not only the one that caused it to be locked up but also probably the only one that could unlock it. Shayne however was too selfish at the moment to do anything like that for anyone, especially him, and not to mention in front of anyone. Don't get me wrong they had had many stolen moments in their past, but they always occurred when they were alone. That was the other thing, up until right after the incident in the astronomy tower when they had kissed and the next day when he walked up to her; she was always under the impression that he wanted to keep their 'relationship' a secret. Almost as if he was ashamed to know her and wouldn't be caught dead in her presence; almost as if he wanted to hide her. That was one thing that Shayne would never allow anyone to do to her. Shayne was an incredible young woman and did not deserve to be treated like that by anyone.
Shayne wanted so much to just swallow her pride walk over to him, sit across his lap, whisper a simple "I'm sorry" into his ear and snuggle into his neck. Ever since that night all she wanted again was for him to hold her, it was and since then had been the best feeling she had felt in her life, and she knew that there would never be anything like it again. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it and counted for three seconds then let it out and opened her eyes. Oddly enough this was something Anton had taught her to do. When she was younger and was taking care of her mother while her father was away on business Shayne would tell Anton everything that happened. Every detail, every pile of puke she had to clean up, and every broken glass she had to pick up. She cried in front of him many times, talking about how much she hated it, how much her mother should have been the one taking care of Shayne, not the other way around. One day when Shayne was spilling her little heart to him he grabbed her hand while she was in mid sentence and spoke softly, "Close your eyes, take a deep breath, count to three then let it out and everything will be good again." As she thought about it now she realized he was trying to protect her even back then.
Shayne would never admit it to herself, but she loved him. She loved his dark hair, his sultry eyes, his almost pouty lips, the curve of his chin, the shape of his ass; which she had checked out way too often walking behind him; she loved the sinister way his lips looked when they curved up into a smile, when he did smile and he loved his heart. She may be one of the only people in the world that knew he had a softer side, she felt special that he had opened himself up to her like that, showing something other than stone. Too bad they both couldn't get over themselves, let go and realize they were made for each other.
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Post by anton on Dec 29, 2010 6:09:39 GMT -5
She seems dressed in all the rings...
Of past fatalities...
So fragile, yet so devious...
She continues to see it...
Climatic hands that press...
Her temples and my chest...
Enter the night she came home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] He had a secret, but it was no real secret to himself. He compared everyone he knew to her. There had only been two women he had been in bed with that he did not compare to her. Anton had never touched Shayne in an intimate way. He longed to touch her, hold her, kiss her, and make her his own. Every time he saw her he could not keep that thought from rushing forward to try to claim him. Anton was not going to allow that to happen. She had hurt him once, and never again. His memories of her pain were too fresh, even if they were dimmed with time and fondness. She is everything and more...
The solemn hypnotic...
My Dahlia bathed in possession...
She is home to me...I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse...
But the stress is astounding...
It's now or never she's coming home...
..::Forever::.. [/color][/size][/font] His dark eyes drifted across the room, but then back in time. He had always thought she was a spoiled brat. Her father tried to buy her love while his own was much more cruel to him. He did not care for his family, and in fact did not care for hers. However, the two fathers had made an arrangement, more like a deal over a poker table one night. Anton knew before she did, and they had never really sat and talked about the situation they shared. That fact was, it seemed the two could never sit in the same room long enough to actually hold a decent conversation that did not see one of them wishing to kill the other one. He sighed, and thought back to that day he overheard their fathers speaking about what they wanted for their children. The plan included many grandchildren, and a long engagement. Anton had shivered at the thought of being tied down, and to a sniveling brat that she was. He thought of this same situation now, and wondered how bad it might be. How hard would it be to remain with her for his entire life? He was not so certain it would be a bad thing now, but he pushed the thought back into the dark recesses of his mind. Hard to say what caught my attention...
Fixed and crazy, Aphid attraction...
Carve my name in my face, to recognize...
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] He turned his eyes away and tried not to look back to her. The outline of her face was like a marble statue, so perfect in the angles. Her curves were not huge, but well setting on her lean body. Her eyes were seductive, even when filled with a hate for him that he could not phantom. His own dark eyes probably reflected such hate often enough. Anton could not remember a time in recent years that he was able to hold her like the night on the tower. A night etched into his memory like a deep scar. A scar that would not heal, like some burning pain that rubbed into his chest and buried itself in his heart. He sneered and grabbed the flask that he carried, and uncapped the silver lid. He put the hard liquor to his lips and drank deeply. The warmth burned into him making his thoughts turn elsewhere. He did not want to linger of memories of her. All those were cold and dead now, he hated her, and never wanted a life where he was stuck with Shayne. Anton was brilliant at lying to himself. I'm a slave, and I am a master...
No restraints and, unchecked collectors...
I exist through my need, to self oblige...
She is something in me, that I despise...
..::I won't let this build up inside of me::.. [/color][/size][/font] He downed his drink, and put the flask away. He could take it no longer. Anton stood up, crossed the room, and looked down at her. His eyes should have been filled with the hate of her, but they were not. It was a curious look, one he might have given her when they were younger children playing in a backyard... but such things had never happen for them. Such things might never happen for them. He sighed, and nodded to her. "We need to talk, you have time?" His voice was not filled with the normal venom, but only a soft whisper as he did not want to be overheard by anyone left in the common room. She isn't real...
I can't make her real...
She isn't real...
I can't make her real... [/color][/font][/size] |
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Post by shayne on Jan 2, 2011 21:40:37 GMT -5
Shayne's hate for him was slowly melting as she let the memories of their childhood wash over her. It was funny how simpler things were back then. When you are that age all you want to do is be older, an adult. Now that she was older and on the cusp of adulthood; all she longed for was the simpleness of her childhood. She smiled slightly as she looked at him now. She didn't know why but there was something about him that made her stomach do small flips, before she thought he always just made her nauseous but sitting here now remembering all these things she realized she was just nervous. Thinking back on everything now she realized that the reason they always had friction was because she never really knew how to act around him. As soon as she hit that age where girls like boys was where the trouble started. Shayne always had a crush on him but once when she expressed it he just threw mud at her and told her she had cooties; defeated, she bottled it up and it turned into hate.
The small knot in her stomach had grown slowly into a large ball. It had eaten away at her heart and soul, and might have been the root reason why she had not been able to get into any serious relationship or go farther than second base with anyone; male or female. Anton had been the only strong male role model in her life and he had spat back in her face and turned his back on her. He had killed her ability to trust in people and she hated him for that; among other things of course. She also loved him though, and that scared her more than anything; of course she did not know or realize that what she felt was love; she had buried her feelings for him many many years ago. Before that, however, he was there for her through the hardest times; the many rough nights with her mother, when her mother hit her, and then when her mother had to go away. Then Shayne stopped for a second, he was always there for her; was she ever there for him when he needed it?
Shayne suddenly felt the worst she had ever felt in her entire life, Shayne hardy ever felt bad; about anything. That was the upside for not caring for anything, anyone, or about whether your actions are right or wrong. At this moment however she felt like mud on the ground that had been walked over and over again by people trying to run in from the rain. Was she that selfish, even back then? She understood why and how she was self absorbed now, but back then? a little piece of her heart broke off and filtered through the blood stream. Al least that's how she felt. A small tear almost unnoticeable by no one but her because she could feel it fall, dropped slowly down her cheek.
Shayne was about to wipe it away from her cheek when out of the corner of her eye she caught movement across the room. She looked over and saw Anton downing his flask in one sip and proceeded to walk over to her. Her heart skipped a beat not knowing what to do or how to react. She pretended to still be reading the magazine as he asked if he could speak to her. She listened, and this time instead blurting out the first thing that came to her mind, her gut impulse; remembering how she had acted before, she thought for a split second then looked up into his eyes. She noticed the warmth in his eyes and a soft smile formed across her face. "Sure, where to?" she replied, sure he did not want to speak in public like this, he had always been a private person as she also been, and she respected that. She had no idea what this was about but she was at the very least intrigued. She closed and placed her magazine to the side as she stood up. She felt tiny standing next to his broad tall frame, she had forgotten how large his stature was and was suddenly taken back to the feeling she had when he had held her and she wished so much in this moment for him to engulf her completely.
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Post by anton on Jan 14, 2011 11:40:48 GMT -5
His mind twirled around in soft circles in his head. His thoughts wanted to all mix and become a blur. As he took her hand and lead her from the dungeon, he had to fight to keep control of his thoughts. His memories wanted to choke him up, make him blink back the emotions that he had. All the hate of her wanted to die away, fade into the background of his love for her. And at the same time, the pain he remembered from how she had hurt him made him want to run away from her, or worse, curse her into next week. He would do neither of these things. Anton meant to get this all out and finished, for better or worse. His anger toward her was mostly caused by their father's demand that they marry. He hated the idea that anyone would dare to take control of his life, and as this situation was linked to her, the hate was always there. It was a reflection of his inner turmoil, and the fact that he would not allow anyone to tell him what to do. He snarled at a small group of younger students as they passed. The students ran out of the corridor, and allowed Anton to lead Shayne on through. He turned to make sure no one was following and then turned Shayne around and pressed her against the wall. His body was only inches away from hers, and his eyes were locked onto her.
"I am not going to hold this back any longer. I am tired of all these little games, and you know damn good and well what I am talking about. Your father leads you around on a leash, like some little prize he can show off to people like my father. While my father sits back and laughs at the situation we are in." He paused and realized he was still holding her hand. Anton let it go, and looked to the ground. "I will not be a pawn in some love game played by two old men that think they know better. As much as we disagree on everything, I am sure you feel the same way. I hate the idea that we have no say in what goes on with our lives. Honestly Shayne, if I had a choice I might have just picked you anyway. I do not like the idea that they are forcing us together when fate might have seen another path for the two of us." He sighed and turned to walk to the other side of the hall.
Anton's dark eyes looked her up and down and he placed his hands behind his back as he leaned against the wall. He did not know what to say next, although he wanted to say so much. He was not going to hide from this any longer, and the truth was exactly what he was going to tell her. If she laughed, walked away, or tried to use it against him... Anton would kill her. The only way to deal with constant pain is to eliminate the source. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, and looked away. He felt like someone else was taking control of his actions, and he hated the way it felt. His eyes closed, and he let the truth slide from his bitter lips.
"I love you, I have for so long. Everyone I sleep with has your face. Everyone I am around has your body. Everyone I have ever known has been compared to you. I know you never wanted me like that, you made that clear the night after the... tower. However, my emotions set aside, I am not going to marry you. I have no intentions of letting them force us into something I am not ready for. If it was not for them, I would have chosen you as a wife when the time was right. It is true, believe what you may."
{{Sorry so late, and short. Writing from work. I am not going to be able to format this, but I figured you would be happy that I finally posted something. Sorry if it sucks.}}
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Post by shayne on Jan 16, 2011 5:19:57 GMT -5
[Oh no!!, it's GREAT!!! I love it sooo much, ask my roommate....lol, All I kept saying was awww, and how much I loved it and couldn;t wait to reply....I read it while we were back up from Traverse City, we stopped somewhere and they had internet so i opened it and read it!! I LOVE it sooooo much....I just hope my reply does it justice.]  Shayne had no idea what to expect. She was slightly shaky and a chill went down her spine as his skin touched hers.Her chest felt heavy on her heart and it was slightly difficult to breathe. Her hand felt tiny and doll like in his large, strong one. The loathing had seemed to evaporate into the background, and there was nothing but fear in her eyes and heart; for she did not know what was coming, nor how she would handle it. Shayne made sure she was always fully prepared for everything, well everything except class; and that she easily winged. This was uncharted territory she was diving into as she walked behind him and was horrible at thinking on her feet, i.e. the day after the events in the tower.
A group of younger students ran past them and jarred Shayne out of her head, and she realized he was taking her into a dark deserted corridor. She took a deep breath as she settled against the wall and he checked to make sure no one was around. The anticipation was killing her. Was she finally going to get a second chance? - She had no idea what he was about to say but as his body was inches away from hers she thought of nothing but wanting his arms around her body. He began speaking, his hand still grasping hers. She stood there frozen on the spot as he spoke, trying to take it all in. About a sentence or two in he let go of her hand but Shayne barely noticed, she was hanging on his every word.
He went on about how he did not want to be a pawn in their parents game; Shane listened intently, but the look on her face would have said otherwise. She had a blank, wide-eyed, mouth half open, deer in head lights look. Then he admitted something that finally broke her blank stare. 'Honestly Shayne, if I had a choice I might have just picked you anyway.' She could not believe her ears, this was it, she was going to get her second chance. There was a pause in his speech as he looked at the ground and then leaned up against the wall across from her. She wanted to say something but so many phrases and sentences were running through her head she needed enough time to get them into a coherent thought.
His next words caused a single tear to fall from the corner of her right eye. She was not sure if it was breaking or if warmth was filling it. Fidgeting took control of her fingers, she started rubbing the seam of her pajama pants and then her hands went to her ear and tucked a piece of hair behind it and out of her face as she nonchalantly wiped the tear away hoping he would not notice it. What she did know was that she felt the same way and always had. She loved him before their parents had decided it for them. She closed the gap between them, untucked that same strand of hair and started twirling the piece of hair in her fingers.
"Anton....." she said softly removing her hand from her hair, almost placing it on his arm but decided against it at the last moment, she choked back emotions and continued softy, "I.... love you too" she said sweetly. "I always have, even before our fathers decided they wanted us to get married. Why should we even think about them; this is about us, why should we be unhappy just because what we want is what our fathers want. I've loved you since I was nine but I admit I felt rejected by you so I buried it deep inside and it turned into loathing and disdain. And the day after the tower, that was all my fault and I take full responsibility for it. I was caught off guard, I thought you would act like it did not happen; so that is what I prepared myself for."
She paused and chose her next words carefully and looked deep into his eyes, "I loved the night in the tower, I still cherish it to this day; I still go there to feel safe. Our parents have no control over us here, or anywhere. They are not going to force us into anything, they can never force us into something we want. After I graduate we can runaway and never look back; we are each our own person, they have no say in the matter. What I want is you, and now that I know how you feel I will not bury my feelings and pretend that they do not exist." She was afraid to look at his face, she could not believe she just said all that. Shayne was slightly amazed at herself, but she knew she did not want to take it all back and that she would do it again if she had the chance.
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Post by anton on Jan 16, 2011 9:59:00 GMT -5
{{Wow, now I have to write to keep up with you... I will start on it after work tonight, promise I will not make you wait as long as last time!}}
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Post by anton on Jan 19, 2011 11:48:54 GMT -5
{{I changed it all, just like I said I would. I could not stand what he said in return. It was just not like Anton to spout off too much of a reply. I thought he would internalize his words much better, then have a short respond to her. Seems to me it turned out better this way. I think this might be the best post I have ever made. I am in total love with this one. I did not format it, mainly due to time. I figured the words would speak for themselves. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy this one.}}
Her words continued to flow, like a waterfall of information that he always wanted to hear. With each word his emotions shifted slightly, but his eye brows lifted at the same time. There seemed to be so much bottled up inside her, so much that she had been holding in that she could possibly be his emotional twin. Still, his guard was up and he did not know how to react to what she was telling him. Each sentence followed another, every line holding something new that he had not expected her to say. His eyes watched her lips move as she spoke. Each word making them shift in a different way as she formed the syllables. It was a seductive dance of language, and he did not know if he should...
His body reacted before his mind had the chance to catch up to what he was doing. He did not know how to make her stop talking so he could try to wrap his thoughts around what she was saying. Finally, when he was about to explode with the emotions that were swirling inside his body, he moved forward and shut her up on his own. His lips pressed against hers, making her body move back against the wall. His own body blanketed hers as his hands moved up to hold both sides of her face as he kissed her. His lips parted, his tongue moved out and touched hers, and the kiss sent him away into a world of bliss that he had never expected.
Anton is not an innocent person. Among all the bad deeds he has done in recent weeks, he has been with countless women in various situations. He is well experienced in the art of love making. Yet, this was something he had never expected in his life. This was something that made his toes curl, his mind fade away, and his body explode in a series of fireworks that made flames dance on his already hot skin. The movement of his lips on hers, his tongue in her mouth, and even the softness of her skin under his finger tips was almost too much. If he had been anyone else, it might have taken him by shock and sent him to his knees. Anton was made of a different cloth, and he allowed the initial surprise reaction fade into a comfortable feeling of ecstasy. It was like she was made to be in front of him, in his grasp, her lips on his, in his life. This was something he had always considered, but never thought could come to pass.
And yet, he still did not know if it could come to pass. His hands moved on her, slowly down her neck to her shoulders, but then no further. He did not want her to think this was another conquest, another fuck to him. He slipped his arms around her and held her close to his body as he lightened up on ths kisses. His lips began to peck hers, and he nestled his head into hers for one brief second before looking into her eyes. One sign of rejection might send him running, and he knew he had to be strong. He also screamed inside his head to be honest, for the first time ever just tell her exactly what you need. Throw your cares in the wind and see where they land. He was not sure he was that brave.
Anton was always cold and calculated. He always made everyone keep a distance because of how hurt he was over this girl's actions. But, underneath all that ice, there was a man who was only scared of being alone. There was a man who did what he had to do to keep pain away, to keep anyone who might hurt him at bay, and to make sure no one wanted to be around him for anything more than physical pleasure. And, with one kiss all that ice crashed around him, it puddled at his feet in a melted heap, and she roared back into his heart. It was a place he had reserved for her, held only for her, for all the years apart he was never alone. She was always there. And in this single kiss, this one shared moment, Anton again felt as week as before... and he was afraid.
His wall was still intact, built by cold hard logic, and a will that would not allow anyone to break him down. She was the only one who might even try. His mind was screaming for him to be honest, and this was exactly what Anton had planned to do. He was going to tell her the single most thing that he felt he needed to share. The four words had nothing to do with love. The four words did not have anything to do with the kiss they just shared. Yet, with those four words it could sum up everything that had happened to them from before the night on the Tower, to this very moment of love. Anton just had to open his mouth and say these three words. The four words, that formed one honest question. The question he needed to learn the answer to burned on his lips. His eyes shifted to look down at her, his gaze locked onto her eyes, and his whisper was not filled with the normal venom he usually held when he spoke. In fact, his voice cracked a little and sounded lost in his own ears. His fingers trembled lightly, but he found the courage to say what needed to be said. Anton said those four words that formed a question he knew could begin everything between them...
Anton asked, "Can I trust you?"
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Post by shayne on Jan 29, 2011 18:41:51 GMT -5
Most of all her wishes came true in one second, in one moment when his lips touched hers. When his body pressed firmly against hers she could have not asked for more. It felt like home, its felt natural and easy. His lips tasted sweet, his tongue slipped in, firmly and gently touched her tongue. She wrapped her hands around his neck as his hands moved to her shoulders, her wishing they would go lower, but at the same time knowing it was a good thing that they did not. Her hands went up his neck, trailing her nails softly along his skin and then up into his hair. Her fingers laced through his locks as his tongue massaged hers.
Her knees went weak and Shayne felt as if she would collapse if his arms were not on her shoulder and his body was not pressed up against hers holding her up. Her brain felt as sparkly dust as her head swirled and felt uneasy. There was not a concrete thought forming in her head as his tongue glided across hers for a final time. Her breath was practically taken away as he retreated. Her heart, mind, soul, and body longing for more.She looked to him for some tyoe of response or facial expression to how he was feeling, how he was reacting, or what was going on in his head. She looked into his eyes with pools of water welling up in hers.
There was so much fear in her heart and probably in her eyes, and then all he said was "Can I trust you?" Shayne bit her lip and a tear fell down her face as she hung her head. 'That was all he could say after that; after their whole song and dance, four little words, that was all? She should have seen this coming. He trusted no one, especially after what she did to him. Granted she did not do it on purpose, but he still hurt and he was still going to punish her for it. She breathed deeply and was not even trying to stop the tears from soaking her face. How was she supposed to prove to him that she loved him, was on his side, and would never hurt him again. Words did not seem to work; actions seemed the only thing that worked.But she did not know how.
She threw her head back and softly hit the wall and ignored the pain. Shayne spread her feet out a little farther and slid her back down the wall until her butt hit the floor then hid her hands in her face where the tears started flowing. She wiped her face and looked up at him with red swollen eyes. She studied his face as she wrapped her arms around herself; his beautiful, strong face, with deep pools for eyes. Another single tear fell and a half smile crossed her lips . The words left her luscious lips softly with sensitivity in her voice, "Do you think I would be putting this all on the line if I didn't know in my heart that I love you and that you can 100% trust me?" Shayne looked longingly into his eyes, her eyes pleading with him to trust her again.
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Post by anton on Feb 2, 2011 14:30:20 GMT -5
I will reply to this once the thread with Reece has finished. Give me some time. We need to move this to the Carnival a little later on. I have a thread there for Anton now... with Roxanne, so let me play with the timeline a bit before we go on.
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