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Post by harrison on Nov 21, 2010 12:16:59 GMT -5
These last few days things seemed different between her and Brayden and she had become so worried that it was something she had done wrong.She felt like he wasn't attracted to her anymore after she got pregnant and she worried that she might lose the baby if she kept worrying and stressing like this. She had only a few more months left til she was due to have her baby and she wasn't too fond of her baby bump but she know that she loved this baby no matter what.
She sighed heavily and walked around in the house, ending up in the kitchen where she began to make some sandwiches with chocolate and peanut butter.She had such a craving for those lately and not to mention her physical needs that seemed to be going in overload lately
She bit her sandwich and sat in the kitchen as she looked out the window while chewing the sandwich.She worried a lot about Brayden and why he hadn't been as loving and responding to her lately.Was she no longer attractive in his eyes or did she do something to lose his love?. Worried about it her eyes brimmed up with tears that streamed own her cheeks.
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Post by brayden on Nov 22, 2010 9:17:51 GMT -5
For the last few days, Brayden had kept something from Harrison that he had done. Brayden didn`t know how to tell her about it because he knew pretty clearly that she was gonna get heartbroken about it. And she was so stressed at the time too and telling her about it was gonna make her even more stressed and it could cause problems for the baby as well. Brayden had been out and worked a lot just to try and make the problem go away,but he knew that he had to tell Harrison that he had cheated on her. He didn`t want Harrison to hear it from Kyrstabelle either. So it was up to Brayden and tell her what he had done.
As Brayden was walking home on february day,he could spot Harrison in the kitchen window. There she was sitting,no knowing what he had done. He was gonna break his pretty little sweetheart`s heart and feelings today. Brayden took a deep breath. The more he thought about it and thought of a way to tell her, the worser it got. He felt so bad about it. Brayden wasn`t sure how he was gonna explain to her the reason why he cheated. He love Harrison so much so why would he do it, because he is back to who he used to be, a player?
he approached closer to the house and walked up the few steps before he opened the entrance door. He walked inside. All he was thinking about and having pictures of in his head was Harrison crying,heartbreaking. It made Brayden nervous now and worried at the same time. He was most worried about Harrison and the little one.
Brayden walked into the kitchen where he spotted Harrison as well. " Hey.." Brayden said softly and didn`t look at her at the moment.
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Post by harrison on Nov 28, 2010 13:49:18 GMT -5
Why is he avoiding me ? am i imaging it or am i doing something wrong? am i really worthless like uncle used to tell me?. why cant i do something right for once. i wish i knew what was wrong and how i can fix it , i don't want to be alone again.doesn't he love me anymore ? have i destroyed the one good thing , well the first good thing in my life , if he leaves i don't know if i can bare it . will he leave me ? will he break whats left of me her thoughts had not been pleasant yet they haunted her mind even when she tried her hardest to avoid them.Her eyes were trying hard to not fill up with tears but she felt as if they were about to break out and make little rivers down her cheeks.
Harrison sighed softly as she heard footsteps and how she hoped it would be her true love coming home to relieve her fears.she took a deep breath and got up and walked towards him in a fast pace.She tried to wrap her arms around his waist."hey , i missed you honey" she licked her lips a bit roughly and looked into his eyes.He seemed so worried and stressed and she didn't know how to respond to it."is everything okey ? did something bad happen ?"
He wouldn't look at her , was she that awful now that she was pregnant? would he tell her that she was trash , that she was good for nothing? all these worries rushed trough her head as she felt more and more heartbroken.she wished that she could be strong and not fall apart like this, the fact that he wouldn't even look at her made her feel like she was being ripped apart.
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Post by brayden on Nov 30, 2010 11:59:49 GMT -5
Brayden looked at Harrison as she came over and wrapped her arms around his waist. He forced a smile at her. " Uhmm..yeah..ah everything is..okey" Brayden said and didn`t know what the hell to do now. He just lied to her. This was not what he was suppose to tell her, he was suppose to tell her the truth,but instead that weakness inside of him just let him down and told her that everything was fine when its not. Brayden looked away and then back at her as he cupped her cheeks and kissed Harrison`s lips. He couldn`t tell her. He just couldn`t. As he pulled back , he looked into her eyes and knew that he was a bastard now for not telling her that he had cheated on her. But he just couldn`t tell her right now.
" I love you" Brayden said and wrapped his arms around her waist as well and hugged her. He closed his eyes and swallowed that lump of regret and guilt. " Are you okey ?" he asked Harrison just to change subject away from what he felt right now. He just couldn`t see her heartbroken right now. He kissed her cheek and rubbed her back a little. " Its good to be home here with you" he said and smiled.
Why am i doing this,what have i done. What did i slept with that girl when i already have someone who is amazing as Harrison. I am such a jerk. I just can`t tell her right now. I can`t break her heart,and i can`t let something happen to the baby. I just can`t. I just have to wait to tell her. Brayden thought and bit his bottom lip and looked down at the floor.
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Post by harrison on Nov 30, 2010 17:10:58 GMT -5
She didn't know why he had been acting so strange now a days but she could only pray that it wasn't her fault.She groaned as she felt the baby kick her stomach."ouch .. she is quite the kicker .. " she said softly and looked into her lovers eyes and wondered why he hadn't looked at her the same way he used to , now a days it was an odd look in his eyes, like he was ashamed of something but was he ashamed of her. she couldn't stop worrying about it , what had she done wrong?."are you sure? i mean you look like your worried " she said softly and licked her lips as she looked at him.his lips on hers felt so good but she was worried that she didn't have his affection anymore, that his love was slipping away. She heard his voice ,his sweet voice telling her that he loved her."I love you with all my heart , i don't ever want to lose you " she leaned in and kissed his sweet lips once more and caressed his back a bit."I'm fine ..honey I'm just a bit stressed and worried " she said softly and licked her lips a bit and caressed his back a bit more and rested her head on his shoulder."i love you brayden , you`ve made my life so much better and i don't feel alone anymore" she sighed softly and gave a peaceful sigh. why do i feel like something is wrong , why do i feel like he is keeping something from me. why do i feel like I'm losing him? am i losing him ?, has he found someone else or am i just too worthless? why aren't i better at this ?, what have i done wrong? please just let me know if I'm losing him ?Read more: itallendshere.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=oh&thread=9623&page=1#49336#ixzz16njpqYyW |
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Post by brayden on Dec 5, 2010 5:33:59 GMT -5
Brayden looked at Harrison`s stomach as the baby kicked. He had to smile at that. " Yeah she sure is quite the kicker in there" he said and looked at Harrison again. He kept looking at Harrison as she asked him more questions. " yeah i am sure, i am fine " Brayden said and smiled a bit. He knew that it was a bad thing to lie to her like this,but he couldn`t bring her down right now. He had to find a better time to tell her what he had done. Brayden deepened the kisses some before he pulled back and looked at her. " I am fine Harrison" he said to assure her that he was fine.
Brayden held Harrison`s hand in his. " I don`t ever want to lose you either babe, i don`t want that" he said. Their lips met again and Brayden let out a soft moan as she rubbed his back some. " Just don`t stress too much, its not good for Boston" Brayden said and looked at Harrison as he rubbed her sides some. " I love you so much too Harrison, you make my life so much better " Brayden said and let her rest her head on his shoulder.
He looked down for a moment and felt the pain in his heart as he couldn`t tell her. If he told her now, he would lose Harrison and the baby. Brayden wasn`t sure what to do. " You wanna go and cuddle on the sofa babe ?" he asked her so he could get his mind on something else for a while.
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Post by harrison on Dec 18, 2010 23:45:28 GMT -5
His smile was the thing she needed the most ,she needed to see him smile with happiness but she wasn't sure if she still made him happy even if he said she did. "yeah ,she is " was her short reply as she worried about losing him and trying to think of how to raise a child. She had heard him say he loves her still but she couldn't help but to doubt it as she had never had anyone truly love her and all that she knew was that anyone could be replaced." are you sure , you seem a bit distant ?" she tried to seem like she was happy as she had tried these days, she smiled as always and when she felt his lips against hers it was a better feeling , and a true smile had worked its way to her lips. "I'm just worried about you "
"really? you don't want to trade me for another now that I'm a pregnant hippo? " her words seemed so weak and stupid as soon as they had slipped past her lips that she looked down with shame."i know , its just i .. its nothing really ..I'm fine " she told her lie and hoped he bought it. she didn't want him to know how much she worried about losing him or the baby , she didn't want him to know how she always worried about being betrayed somehow. " you're the only thing i live for , i mean you make me so happy and i love that you promised to never hurt me , to always stay true to me after i gave my heart to you .. honestly i don't think i could take it if i was betrayed once more " she said softly as she remembered her first true love that left her broken , he had left her for some other girl.
She sighed softly and told herself that brayden would never do anything like that , that he wouldn't take what was left of her heart and break it."i love you brayden , so much it hurts to be without you " she whispered softly to his ear and kissed his jawline sweetly before nodding a bit sleepily.
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Post by brayden on Dec 22, 2010 9:04:16 GMT -5
Brayden looked at Harrison as she responded back at him. " mm i am sure that its gonna be more of that babe " he said and smiled some more to her. Brayden started to feel that guilt grow bigger and bigger inside him. It was hard for him to keep it inside, the bad feeling. It felt like it tried to break him at the moment. And Brayden was sure that it was possible to break him any minute now. He saw the look in Harrison`s eyes, the worried and scared look she used to get when she was worried about something. Brayden had to close his eyes for a moment, as he felt how it was hurting him. He had to tell her, he thought, he just had to.
He opened his eyes and looked at Harrison. " what, i would never wanna trade you in for someone else" he said and looked at her, holding her hand. Brayden loved her too much to let her go, but Brayden was pretty sure that he was gonna lose her tonight. The truth had to come out now, it was now or never. But when Brayden heard what Harrison said,all the nice and sweet things about him, Brayden suddenly got more pain inside him, poking him and hurting him.
Brayden closed his eyes, feeling how good it was to be kissed on the jawline by her, he was savouring the feeling of her kisses, before he was gonna lose her. Brayden pulled back and looked at Harrison. " Harrison..there is something i have to tell you.." he said and looked down at his feet. It was gonna be hard telling her, but he had to. " I have..done something..bad.." Brayden continued. He took a deep breath before he tried to continue some more.
" I cheated on you Harrison.." Brayden said loud and clear so she could hear him clearly.
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Post by harrison on Dec 22, 2010 13:38:47 GMT -5
These feelings she had , she had always had them because of how she was raised. All the time she had been told that she was not good enough , she was not behaving like a proper Spencer heir. She wanted to believe that she wasn't losing him , that she was the most important thing in his life but she always had her doubts about it. She looked at her lover , the love of his life that didn't betray her. he looked so hurt and worried and she didn't know why he was so worried , was it because she might lose the baby if she stressed.
For a second her little pout turned into a bright smile as he said he would never ever trade her in for someone else and god she hoped it was true , that she was the one thing that made him smile , the one who gave him joy to continue with his life.
her lips traced his jaw with love and adoration as he was the one thing that kept her going and how he made her smile everyday with his sweet words and tender kisses, her smile turned into a frown as he pulled away and told her that he had to say something to her. Was this the end of their relationship, was he leaving her now? would she be left broken and shattered from this talk?. "um what is it love? please don't let it be what I'm thinking " she said softly to herself. Her heart ached as he confessed he had done something bad , what could it possible be .
Hearing those words shattered her heart into small fragments, she felt like her world was crumbling apart and that her uncle had been right. no one would ever love her , no one would be with her and she would always be the broken loser that had nothing. "what? why ? why did you cheat , you promised you wouldn't hurt me .. you swore that you loved me .. was it all lies , stupid lies that i fell for .. I'm such an idiot, thinking someone would ever love me .. am i really that worthless that you , would lie like that to me and then break my heart .. was it just a game for you .. was it all just a fucking lie .. every fucking time you said you loved .. you lied .. Charlie was right wasn't he .. i was just a fun easy prey .. that you could use .. " her words dripped with sadness , disappointment and sorrow.
She felt like giving up on everything , like she didn't have anything left anymore. she wanted to drown her sorrows in alcohol but she had this little child , the one that would be the one thing left in her miserable life. Her soul was an aching pit of sadness at this very moment.
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Post by brayden on Dec 23, 2010 8:44:17 GMT -5
Brayden looked at Harrison after what he told her. He felt so bad right now and hated that he had hurt her so much. " I am sorry for cheating on you Harrison, i cheated because i fell for the temptation and it was too hard to resist it " Brayden said and still looked at her. He knew that it was the worst thing he could ever do to her after everything he promised her. But Brayden loved her so much. " I hate myself for cheating on you and i know i promised you that, but its not lies, i still love you Harrison, i really do.." he said as well.
Brayden walked over to the window and looked out, he felt like needing air right now. " I understand if you want me out of your life for what i did, and if you don`t want me in our daughter`s life Harrison" Brayden said and turned to look at her. " I am just really sorry , and i regret is so much for breaking your heart " Brayden said. " Yeah i guess Charlie was right all along.." he also said and sighed. He hated that Charlie was gonna have right about that, and that he couldn`t prove Harrison that Charlie was wrong about it.
" I am gonna leave you alone now, i am sure you don`t want me to be around you right now.." Brayden said and started to walk a few steps forward.
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Post by harrison on Dec 24, 2010 12:06:04 GMT -5
She didn't know what to do at all now as he had betrayed her in the ways he had swore not to, her heart was breaking each painful second of this confession and his words of apologies didn't help her much at all as all she could hear were all the spiteful words she had been told all her life until she met Brayden , he had seemed so true and honest everytime he said he loved her and yet he said he fell for the temptation so easily.
"why? why brayden , why couldn't you just have told me that you wanted someone else , why didn't you just leave the moment i told you i was pregnant. why didn't you just walk away then? why couldn't you just have been honest with me " her tears fell angrily as she felt stomach hurt as she felt everything around her crumble and fall apart."she gave a soft scream as it hurt so bad and she didn't know what was happening.she knew that the baby was due soon now but she had hoped that it wouldn't arrive so soon.
"please ..ah god not now .. please don't let it happen now , please dear god don't let the baby come now "she begged softly to herself and held onto her stomach.it hurt quite a lot and she wasn't sure whether she was close to giving birth or if she was close to losing her precious baby.
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Post by brayden on Dec 26, 2010 10:19:30 GMT -5
Brayden was ashamed over what he had done to hurt her. Cheating was the one thing that was the worst to do to someone you were in a relationship with. Brayden had never felt more bad than what he did today. He looked down on the floor and didn`t know what to say or do at the moment. He looked up at Harrison as she started asking questions and speaking. " I just told you why Harrison..and i can`t take back what i did okey..i just can`t, and i understand if you can`t or won`t forgive me because of that and i am in love with you and i would never leave you because you`re pregnant " he said and looked at her.
He could tell that she was angry and sad at the same time, but Brayden understood that. Him cheating on her had nothing to do with her being pregnant at all.
As Brayden had started to walk towards the door, he heard Harrison let out a scream. Brayden turned and looked at her, it looked like she was in alot of pain. " Harrison..!" Brayden said and turned again and walked over to her. " What`s wrong..is it the baby ?!" he asked her being scared and worried at the same time. " Harrison speak to me..what`s wrong ?" he asked again and checked. " Harrison you`re wet and there are water on the floor.." he said and looked a little terrified at her. " The baby is coming now isn`t it ?!" he said and could feel the sweat on his forehead. What a perfect timing.
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Post by harrison on Dec 27, 2010 15:08:27 GMT -5
The pains of incoming labor was testing her will and right now she wasn't sure if she would make it trough this. she surely didn't feel like fighting anymore , she had tried to fight her destiny and right now it seemed as if she had fought for no reason at all." ah god .. please just go brayden , leave me here ..aaah damn it " her screams were getting louder as the pain seemed to rise.
She didn't want him to leave yet she knew that she should want his ass gone. she should be hating him ,yet the only one she hated was herself for being so pathetic that she couldn't even hold a mans attention , this was the second time a man had chosen someone else. he might not have left her but his affair was enough to be a choice of wanting someone else.
!"aah .. damn it .. god effing hell .. it hurts so bad .. " her screams interrupted any sane thought at the moment.she didn't want to raise her child alone but as he wouldn't keep it in his damned pants , she couldn't exactly trust him to raise a baby. she felt certain that he would give up on her and the baby , maybe go back to that awful harlot he cheated with. " Brayden ,,just go back that whore you spent the night with " she pleaded , she was sure that this girl was a stupid little brat who got everything she wanted.
No one ever handed her anything on a silver platter, she had struggle and work hard for it.she felt like the world was against her having any form of happiness.Didn't she deserve it , had she not been good , had she not tried to be kind to everyone but now she didn't feel like it was worth it anymore . maybe she should just give up on everything.
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Post by brayden on Dec 28, 2010 9:53:33 GMT -5
Brayden looked at Harrison as she was in a lot of pain right now. She was in labor and Brayden couldn`t just leave her like this. " Are you insane, i can`t leave you alone like this Harrison!" he said and looked at her. He knew that the best thing would be to leave her but not like this, it wasn`t safe for her or the baby. "We need to get you to St. Mungo`s Harrison..before its too late" Brayden told her.
He looked at her as she commented on how painful it was. " Just breathe Harrison..okey ?" he asked her and looked at her. But then she spoke again, and told him to go back to that girl he had slept with. " Is that what you really want Harrison..? is it..fine..then i`ll leave..just say it again, then you can just make it out of here on your own..don`t ever expect me to be there for the child when it`s gonna grow up.." Brayden told her and was getting a bit angry. He got up and looked at Harrison, listening to her screams of pain.
Brayden didn`t know what got over him when he said those words. But he couldn`t take that back either, or could he? She wanted him out of there so then he wasn`t gonna stay behind. " Goodbye Harrison.." Brayden said and turned to leave her on the floor.
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Post by harrison on Dec 28, 2010 14:04:32 GMT -5
The pain was just so much that she didn't want to keep on going any longer."I'm sorry brayden , i didn't mean to hurt you .. its just so damn painful .. it hurts like hell .. and you hurt me in a way that no one else has .. " she spoke softly with screams threatening to come out. She wanted the pain to go away , to make it all go away. " but you really broke my heart , know that " she tried to breath but every second that went by it felt like she was choking.
"its not what i want .. but its whats best .. since you already made your choice ,that night ..that i wasn't good enough , that my love wasn't enough for you " she tried to wipe the tears away."and I'm sure you want to be in her life , cause she is a reminder of what you had " her words were weak as she wasn't sure how much longer she could cope.
She watched walk away with the last strength in her.it hurt to see him walk away like that , to know that he didn't care enough to fight for her.she hated that Charlie had been right about him but Charlie moved away and she was certain that ryden would too. so it was just her and her little baby from now on. As she was close to passing out ,her little house elf came and somehow he arranged for her to be taken to st mungos.
Harrison woke up in the hospital and still in labor ,she knew that she would give birth to her little girl.
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