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Post by ryden on Sept 18, 2010 2:44:50 GMT -5
It was on a late Wednesday night that Ryden Masters went to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks. He wanted to feel numb today for some reason. Lately Ryden had felt lonely,more lonely than the rats in the alleys. He hated spending time alone and being all by himself. But that was how it had turned out to be in his case. In Ryden`s life people had comed and gone just like that. Nothing was for sure in his life or in that case. Ryden could never find a steady date for himself,a girlfriend who would promise to stay with him and never leave. But that was just meant for the lucky ones wasn`t it? Ryden walked inside and saw a free seat by the bar counter. He sat down and looked at the bartender. "Give me the strongest you got " Ryden said and looked around in the bar till the bartender served his drink. Ryden grabbed it and took a sip of it. It was strong alright.
Ryden wanted to drink away the pain he felt inside. He knew for sure that he could never have Peyton as his own. They were just sexing around with eachother. it wasn`t that special was it. It was just for fun. But lately Ryden had started to grow tired of it. He wanted someone who was more than just a sexbuddy. He took a bigger sip out of it and sighed. He just kept looking down at the counter and spaced out for a little bit. He hadn`t seen his brother lately either. It made Ryden really mad that he could just do things like this. Charlie was his brother,and they were suppose to hang out like they used to do,but hell no,that went straight down to the basement.
And he hadn`t seen Harrison around either,his best friend,but now she was busy with being pregnant and engaged with Brayden. Ryden was happy for her but he wished that they could spend more time together as well. Ryden was sick of feeling so damn lonely. He downed the rest of the drink and asked for a refill in it. " This life sucks so bad.." he said to himself. Not noticing the girl who took a seat next to him.
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Post by brody on Sept 18, 2010 8:35:00 GMT -5
It was December now and the snow covered the towns and cities and the air was almost as cold as Brody felt her heart was at the moment.She had been with an older man but he left her like everyone else did.She was always alone now and she did not like it but then again she couldn't show her pain ,her weakness.She bit on her bottom-lip roughly and walked inside of the leaky cauldron and didn't utter a word before she just sat down next to a boy she had seen before at hogwarts.
She leaned towards the bar desk and licked her lips roughly and then ran a hand trough her hair.She almost everyday felt tears brimming in her eyes but she always tried her best to force them away.She sighed heavily before looking up at the bartender."give me firewhiskey and don't be stingy about it either .i have every intention of getting piss-drunk" she muttered out and wanted to slam her head onto the bar desk to feel something than misery and loneliness.
Why must life suck so utterly much ? why am i not the one with a loving fiancee ? why am i not being held close to a lovers embrace right now? why merlin? why . Do i not deserve love ? am i too bad and tainted for that? why can i not feel something other than misery and pain.Is this some form of punishment that you enjoy watching me suffer trough.or is it that i cannot be good that makes me unworthy of love?
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Post by ryden on Sept 25, 2010 7:25:30 GMT -5
Ryden looked over at the girl. He had seen her before he knew that,at hogwarts. But he thought that she looked a lot like Harrison in some way too. It was a little weird but Ryden shrugged it away and didn`t think so much about it. He sipped the drink and sighed softly. She seemed lonely too. He wondered what made her feel so lonely, like he felt. He looked her over but didn`t say anything. Ryden didn`t want to bother her that much. But he was sure that he was gonna talk to her sometime, any minute. He looked at her and sighed again ,just a bit heavier this time.
" So what makes you come here all alone?" he asked the girl sitting next to her. Sometimes it was good talking to some stranger you usually didn`t speak that much with. Ryden looked at his glass that was filled with liquor. He looked over at her again,hoping that she wanted to have a conversation with him.
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Post by brody on Oct 5, 2010 0:10:15 GMT -5
Time seemed to pass so slowly when she was miserable and lately she had been miserable a lot.She couldn't understand how she could be stupid enough to think that she would matter enough to a man that he might actually love her.She didn't know how to be the sweet girl that her twin-sister apparently was.She had done too many things ,slept with too many creeps for that to be possible.She sat here alone without a true and honest friend as they all seemed to have their own lives to care about.She was half thinking about dying but it was a pathetic way to go down and she had sworn as a child that she`d go down fighting so it wasn't really an option for her.She looked over at the boy s she felt eyes on her."You like what you see?, you want to own me for the night huh?"she said with a lazy tone that betrayed her tough act.She would never admit it but deep inside she was scared,weak and most of all lonely.
"wow , you're actually starting a conversation with me ..you shouldn't as I'm trash and only good for one thing..but I'm here alone because i apparently don't have friends that have time for me and well obviously not good enough to keep a relationship.."she sighed heavily and bit her bottom-lip hard and rough as she looked away from the boys eyes.She couldn't understand why he looked at her , did he know her sister and thought she was her? or perhaps he wanted to act like a good guy so she would sleep with him.She probably would anyways.Sex was a good thing to ease her pain and loneliness.
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Post by ryden on Oct 9, 2010 8:30:19 GMT -5
Ryden looked over at the girl and sighed. " Just because you are a stranger doesn`t mean that i can`t talk to you does it .." he said and looked at her again and took a sip of his drink while he did it. "Why would you call yourself trash by the way , only thing i see is a girl sitting here all by herself being lonely.." he said and wet his lips. " I guess the both of us are pretty lonely.." Ryden said and leaned back in the chair. She seemed to be pretty much lonely and an outsider. Ryden knew how that felt. Ryden had most of his time been an outsider and didn`t fit in with most of the people. Ryden was the typical loner. "you wanna talk about it..you are clearly here for a reason " he said and looked Brody over.
Usually things like this would be solved by having sex. Well tonight Ryden didn`t feel like solving things with sex at all. He was more in the talking mood . He wanted someone to understand things by talking and not by having sex. It didn`t solve it , it just took the lonely feeling away for a bit. " I am lonely tonight .." Ryden said and looked at her. " Does it help you to know that i am ?" he asked her and took a new sip of his drink.
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Post by brody on Oct 25, 2010 11:49:52 GMT -5
"You can talk to me .. i just said its not a smart thing to do as I'm pretty much bad for you and well i will taint you and drag you down with me into the dirt" she said with a weak and soft voice that not many have heard before him.She did not know what life could or would bring her from now on and she would rather not have some innocent guy get treated like trash because of her reputation."loneliness .. is something i should be used to or at least get used to as it seems all my attempts at love fail.. last man left without a work ..stupid Charles .. " she muttered and looked down at her drink before grabbing it and poured it down. "well .. basically Charles left my worthless ass and my whole family seems to be a lie .. all i thought was real isn't and now i am just the other side of a coin " she muttered and drank more from the glass.
She wondered why he was asking her to talk with him and not just taking her in the back alley for a night of hot passionate sex but maybe just maybe this boy had a pure heart that longed for a friend."well .. you're not the only as i stated but i only know of one thing to ease the loneliness and yet you don't seem to want that solution" she bit her lip roughly and looked into his warm nutty brown eyes that held so many feelings in them."it doesn't help me , in fact i feel sorry that your lonely as well .. ah i should stop before i sound like a effing huffie " she muttered and bit her lip harder and rougher as a way to feel a physical pain instead of the stupid emotions that haunted her.
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Post by ryden on Oct 28, 2010 6:12:24 GMT -5
Ryden had to smile a bit at what she was saying. She was so judging herself right now in front of him. But Ryden just listened to what she had to say right now. Ryden took a new sip from his drink and looked over at Brody. " Being lonely is something that you choose to be, its not something that just happens..." he said and wet his lips. " I am lonely because i haven`t made an effort trying to be happy or find someone to make me happy.." he said and tried to make it seem like being lonely wasn`t a bad thing or a good thing. Ryden got really quiet when he heard the name Charles getting mentioned. Ryden only knew about one Charles who would treat girls like that, his very own daddy dearest. But the hell with his father, he was never a good father to him or his brother Charlie.
"Are you talking about Charlie Masters ?" Ryden had to ask, he was sure that that was the name she would say.
Ryden looked back into Brody`s eyes. He could see that she was hurt and sad. " I am not gonna take advantage of you..or talk you into having sex with me to make the pain go away for a little while" he said and looked down at the table. "You wanna go for a walk, just get some fresh air and talk some more instead of drowning our pain and loneliness in stupid drinks that won`t do much " he asked her and gave her a small smile.
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Post by brody on Oct 28, 2010 12:41:56 GMT -5
This guy was just so sweet and kind , it hurt her almost to be near him when she had done nothing to deserve it.She had truly become one of the worst people she knew of, just a whimpering whiny who yearned for love like a pathetic puppy."ah well i have made all the wrong choices "she sighed heavily and bit her bottom-lip roughly."The efforts I've made have all left me alone and bitter , forsaken by love .. maybe I'm not meant for love , maybe all i can is hate " she sighed heavily and sipped her drink a bit more.
" yes none other than the infamous Charles masters , a pig who left me like everyone else, maybe he is smart to do so " Her eyes had begin to form tears and she didn't even bother to hide that fact.She didn't know what she could do to stop these feelings from rising.She didn't know why he bother to care about her enough to listen to her rantings and see the pathetic look on her face as she sat here spilling her guts to him.
"thank you for the kindness , i don't know why you'd care about me this much .. i mean enough to listen to me rant"she sighed heavily and bit her lips again and looked at him."sure lets go for a walk .. not like my life has better plans for me now "she wanted so badly to breakdown and cry her tears out but her pride wasn't so keen on it.
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Post by ryden on Oct 31, 2010 2:50:33 GMT -5
Ryden just looked over at her as she talked and let out her feelings for him. Ryden thought it was a good thing that she let out all the feelings she had inside now. Ryden had no problems with listening to it. "For some reason we are all meant for love, you know, its just where we find it and who it is that will give us the love that matters. " he said and sighed softly. Ryden could almost taste her pain with the tip of his tongue, that was how obvious it was that she was in pain and down. " Well these drinks ain`t gonna help us forgetting about the pain, it just reminds me more about the sadness really..the bitter taste.." Ryden said and looked over at Brody. Ryden bit his bottom lip when he heard his fathers name. And she was right , he was a pig, ,a big one.
" Well seems like my father still knows how to break someones hearts " he said with a bitter tone and looked down at the glass filled with the drink before he downed it. His father was everywhere and it pissed Ryden off that he had come here just to ruin his life more.
Ryden smiled. " Come on, its nice talking to you and i like listening to you for some reason. " he said and smiled brighter at Brody. He smiled when she agreed to go for a walk with him. " You know you can talk to me if there`s anything you want to talk about" he said and put his jacket on and held out his hand for Brody. " Wanna hold it so i don`t lose you ?" Ryden asked her.
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Post by brody on Oct 31, 2010 7:34:42 GMT -5
He was just so damn nice and part of her didn't want to give up on it while the other part told her that she didn't deserve it.She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to raise her spirits up a bit.She didn't want to leave her beloved drinks right now but she knew that it wouldn't help her at all to stay drunk ,cause she didn't have the energy to stay drunk for the rest of the month let alone the rest of this year.
She looked at him as he put on his jacket and she wanted so badly to wrap herself in his arms and escape everything , all the things she had done to end up like this.She knew she was a coward for avoiding her true emotions for so long. "I'm sorry for spilling all my guts to you like this ,i wish i didn't have these broke-down feelings "she sighed heavily as she suddenly felt the extent of her lifestyle and the result was feeling like a miserable ninety year old hag who didn't want this life anymore.
He offered his hand to her and she couldn't stop the tears from brimming up again as she slipped her hand inside the palm of his.She licked her lips and began to walk, tugging at his arm to get him with her."you know , my whole has been a sham , some stupid lie that didn't seem to do the trick .. i found my uncle and wham he says i have a twin sister who apparently is living the good life , with a fiancee and a baby in the belly "
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Post by ryden on Nov 8, 2010 9:02:11 GMT -5
Ryden smiled as she agreed to take a walk with him instead of just sitting here and drink the damn night away. Ryden put his jacket on as he looked at Brody. He just smiled. " It`s okey Brody, i can handle a little talk like that" he also said to her and wondered how such a beautiful girl like Brody could get so used and heartbroken by a bunch of douchebags ,including the biggest one, his father.
As Ryden had held his hand out to Brody, he could see the tears appear in her eyes. Ryden wanted to make her feel better. But then she started to pull him with her. Ryden followed her as they walked hand in hand with eachother. He listened to her talk. As she talked Ryden recognized the description she gave of her twin. Ryden made the both of them stop walking and he cupped Brody`s cheek and took a good look at her face.
Ryden sighed as he could see how much she looked like Harrison. " I know your twin sister ,Brody. Her name is Harrison ,she`s engaged to Brayden McCallister " Ryden said and smiled a bit. " But you are way more beautiful than what she is " Ryden said and took Brody`s hand again. But in a second Ryden changed his mind and pull her into a hug instead. A really nice and big ,warm hug. He planted a kiss on her forehead. " It`s gonna be okey Brody, i promise you that" Ryden said to Brody and meant every single word he said.
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Post by brody on Nov 21, 2010 14:57:50 GMT -5
"its just that I'm not used to having someone listen like this , most people see me as the slut , the whore who sleeps around ..so its kinda scary to have you be so nice to me " She sighed heavily as she felt like such a pathetic loser , why would he even care about her at all.
As he held his hand out to her,she wondered what it was like to have someone actually care about her. she didn't know what a relationship was like.she grabbed his hand and pulled him with her and headed towards to the shrieking shack. " now you know why I'm the loser .. I'm the one who fell down in the dark of the two of us.. I've screwed everything up so much.. i don't think i can go back " her voice was soft and gentle.
Hearing his statement, she immediately got a glare." you know my sister ? whats she liked .. she is the good one right? and he is good to her?loving her and staying true to her?" she asked softly and wondered what it was like to have someone like that."i am not , from what i hear she is a light and cute girl who cares a lot ..but thank you " she said with a few soft tears in her eyes. He hugged her and it felt so good , she wasn't sure why she was feeling safe in his arm.it was so warm , caring and protective ,this hug of his. "don't make promises you cant keep " she said softly and rested her head against his shoulder. "but thank you "
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Post by ryden on Nov 22, 2010 9:30:42 GMT -5
Ryden looked at Brody as she spoke some more. Ryden just shook his head. " That is their words, i look at you differently, i don`t judge from what others say about a person, i need to meet that person myself and get my own opinion about the person..and so far, you are very sweet and nice and someone who just need someone right now to be there for you" Ryden said and looked at Brody and gave her a warm, and nice smile.Ryden was sure that she was neither of those things she just said about herself. He wanted to know her more.
Ryden got pulled with by Brody to the shrieking shack. He wondered what they were gonna do there,but right now he didn`t care where they went, he just wanted to spend time with Brody. "Don`t speak of yourself like that Brody,we all have our bad times in life i have had many of those, the feeling of not fitting in " Ryden said and still held her hand. He squeezed it gently to show her that he cared.
He nodded and looked and looked at Brody. He smiled a bit. " Harrison is very nice and kind and Brayden is taking good care of her the last time i heard about them " Ryden said and looked her over. " But don`t ever try and compare yourself to a sibling, because its never gonna be like that, you two are different and that is a good thing. " Ryden said and looked down at his feet.
He still held Brody in his arms and gave her a hug. Ryden looked at her and wanted to make sure that she was gonna be okey. " I know..but some promises you just have to keep as well" Ryden said and hugged her tighter. " Its gonna be fine..i am here for you now " he said gently to her.
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Post by brody on Nov 28, 2010 14:10:37 GMT -5
"its their words ,their true feelings about me , its how wretched i really am now. i have fallen from the neat little path that my sister clearly walks ..i am nothing anymore and i feel dead inside.."she spoke softly and he got a glimpse of something that very few people had seen, her tear filled eyes that longed for compassion and love."i don't deserve much , i don't deserve someones love or kindness" she sighed heavily and looked into those nutty brown eyes.
"please don't try to convince me that I'm good , that i have a heart of gold or that one day i will rise to my potential and be a kind and noble person ,because i cant."her words were achingly painful for herself to hear but then again she wouldn't lie about herself,to try and make herself feel better in some stupid way.She would never deserve it anyways and he did not stop with kindness.His words struck her like a lightning bolt but she would not admit that she could be as good as her sister ,she would not fool herself to believe that but the way he spoke so sweetly to her and his hand felt so good as he squeezed her hand.
"how can i not compare myself to her, she is good and kind and so deserving of love ,she deserves all things i cant have because of how i chose to behave .i have on my own ruined everything and stooped to level of a cheap harlot that only works for one night of company but after that I'm trash .. waste of space " she let those tears slide down her cheeks.
As her tears slid down he had his arms around her in an embrace and she wanted so badly to believe that a man like him could ever love someone like her but she knew better than that."i cant promise anything ,i cant tell you I'm a changed woman , because i cant believe in myself like that. i don't deserve it at all" her eyes brimmed up again as tears slid down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy from the tears and she felt so weak for pouring her heart out like this."don't promise you'll be here ,when you wont , please don't make me believe " her voice cracked from all her crying and she surrendered completely to his embrace.
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Post by ryden on Nov 30, 2010 11:45:11 GMT -5
Ryden looked at Brody and listened to what she had to say. It wasn`t nice the way people had talked about her. He looked into those teary eyes of hers. " Don`t listen to them Brody, they don`t know you that well to talk about you like that.." he said and wanted to comfort her. "And you do deserve it, ,more than you know " he said and cupped her cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. " It would be a shame to let someone as beautiful as you to be unloved and adored " Ryden said and smiled softly at her.
Ryden looked down and shook his head a bit. " But you are not a bad person..and i do believe that you are a very nice and sweet girl,people just haven`t seen that yet in you " he said and looked at her. " You can have the same thing as your sister..love, happiness and joy in life, you just have to find that person who will give it to you " Ryden said and looked right into her eyes. Ryden wiped her fallen tears away from her cheeks and looked at her. " its gonna get better Brody " Ryden said and still held her hand.
Ryden could now see how heartbroken she was and down. He just hugged her tighter and rubbed her back and let her cry it out what she had kept inside her. " Just let it out Brody its okey " Ryden said with a whisper and let her have her moment like this. Inside Ryden thought he was gonna keep his promise. He couldn`t let Brody be all alone and broken like this. Ryden would pick up those pieces. " You deserve it so much Brody..you deserve love " he said and kissed her forehead and hugged her more. Ryden wanted to be there for her. For some reason he felt like he had to be there for Brody.
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