` ` FOR I AM GOD / / LEXI !

[yumi2]

One giant mess, three short words to describe Rhys's life. Not that he could complain, because it was his fault it was like this. His own damn fault, always his fault. Just because he couldn't complain, didn't mean he followed this rule. Whenever he was alone, he always critisizing his own life. Yes, he was pissing himself off, and that shouldn't be something you will hear every day. And as the days passed, he did spend more time in his dorm, his music on very loud, listening to bands such as NeverShoutNever and Fall Out Boy. He didn't understand why. He didn't understand himself any more. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised – who did these days? Certainly not anyone he knew.

What had happened to make his life one giant mess I hear you ask. It all started with Rhys's father. That dick who moulded Rhys to what he was in these days … or at least what he used to be. A man-whore. Untrustworthy. Exactley that. Someone who shouldn't have under any circumstances got the benefit of the doubt. So who should he happen to remind his ever loving mother of? Exactly like his father. He hated himself and his anger spasms, just like his father. Anger filled to the center, his father leaving him and his mother for a couple of whores only fuelling it. Yet Rhys was like that. He went out with numerous girls, perhaps even at the same time as one another. Yes, now reflecting on it with the gorgeous girlfriend he wanted, he felt a little regretful, but he didn't make the effort to apologise to them. They never did fill his needs anyway. Too girly. Of course he didn't want a tomboy girlfriend, but girls that squealed whenever someone mentioned pink was too much for Rhys, and instantly they went into the dumpee bucket.

Aside from the fact he had major anger issues which he could usually control (sometimes it got the best of him though) he had once upon a time had a girl he considered himself to be in love with, Alex Zabini. Now, note that Rhys was in love with her. Maybe only slightly, but in love with her nonetheless. He didn't dump her, and she didn't dump him. No, he left. Just walked out of Hogwarts and the minute he had the bloody lockdown had started and he wasn't permitted to enter the premisis. So, although he hadn't seen Alex upon his return, he was sure someone as brilliant and, let's face it, as hot as her had obviously found someone new to move onto.

So he'd been pretty beat up about it before he'd found Lexi again. She'd always been a pain in his ass, but ever since having the talk with Kristin who he always called 'Krissy', he hadn't viewed her in the same manner. He liked her, that much he knew. And soon after finding her again and her telling him she liked him ... his heart, it felt warmed up.

Now he needed to ask himself a serious question as he got ready for a party Lexi had invited him to as her boyfriend. Did he love her? Lexi. Did he love her? So soon after Alex? So soon after getting together with her? It sometimes felt that way ... just staring at her face ... why did he feel like he loved her when he knew very deep down, buried away, he still liked Alex? Whenever he was around her it took him all his might not to tell her that in fear of coming on too strong and scaring her off. But now, ready in his dorm, he knew the answer to the question he'd been thinking about nearly all day. Yes. He did.

Crap.

The details to the particular party was a blur. He could remember swinging by the Ravenclaw tower and picking up his girlfriend, commenting on how stunningly gorgeous she looked and how lucky he was (complete with a cheeky wink of course!), but after that all he could remember was swining beer down his throat, arms around Lexi's waist for practically the entire evening. He could remember nothing else. And then, when he was partially drunk, not raging, he waved goodbye to the party members as they disbanded. He smiled at his girlfriend, patted her on the shoulder, not wanting to make her smell his own bad vodka firewhiskey stained breath with hers fresh. Waving, he stumbled his way down to the Dungeons. He wouldn't be surprised if someone had followed him, after all, he was not sober enough to go down stairs without messing up what he called his 'perfect immaculate face'. He stopped in the dungeons. He could hear footsteps ... Was his name being called? He couldn't tell. He turned around, colours blending into one another as he tried to sharpen his view and see the person who was with him in these cold, evil infested corridors.

[spazzchild]

* - - - hello there, the angel from my nightmare

Lexi had never been good enough for anyone her whole life. Her parents compared her to her two sisters all through her childhood. At age eight her parents divorced and her father gave up magic for good. Then a year and a half ago her mother disappeared. Her father did not say a word to Lexi anymore. There was nothing left to say. She was basically disowned and she knew it. Half the time Lexi felt like everybody that mattered to her would eventually abandon her. Like she was disappearing.
Then she saw Rhys again. He was a huge pain in Lexi’s ass and she was irritated by him daily, but she knew there was something beneath the irritating boy he tried so hard to be. Shortly after seeing him she began thinking about him. Something about him just sent her heart racing. But something she didn’t understand? How she could fall for a player so easily. Somehow she had.
Lexi was a guarded girl- she didn’t trust easily and she didn’t let people in. She built up walls so nobody could hurt her. Then he came along and her walls crumbled down and she was just Lexi. It confused and scared the hell out of her. It felt good though. She laughed for the first time in a long time, really and truly. He always could make her smile, genuinely happy. She didn’t understand.
And then he asked Lexi to be his. She said yes. They went to the party together and had a great time. They danced and he made her laugh. He drank, she didn’t. She wasn’t a partier. After the party while walking back to the Ravenclaw tower she had a thought ‘I’m happy. Actually happy’. Those words were not something Lexi threw around.
So did she love him? She had no idea.
He put up with her. She was a pain, yet he never showed true irritation towards her. Broken dreams, trust issues and a wall around her heart. She was a mess. Obviously. But he made her want to be carefree and hopeful for the first time.
Yes. She did, didn’t she?
It was overwhelming. They hadn’t been going out for that long. Honestly, she didn’t give a damn about anything except for him.
He said goodbye outside of the common room, and staggered away. He was drunk. So she followed him. Just to make sure he got back alright. There was the not trusting part of her again. She sighed. They wound up in the dungeons. He hadn’t figured out that she was following him yet.

Rhys doubted himself; he thought he would walk out. He thought he would break Lexi. The truth? He was the one that put her back together in the first place.

Words 463?!
Tagged Rhys!
Outfit Click
Muse i miss you blink 182
Notes not great.
Credits IrishEyes of Caution 2.0. Lyrics are courtesy of Blink 182.