Post by xkaitlinx on Feb 10, 2010 23:22:02 GMT -5
Ok so i have/had to do a short story type of thing for my english class for a compition with in my school. I typed mine up, and well I figured I would ask for all of yal's opinion since the poeple on here happen to be some of the best writers I know... And its still a wip as well 
So let me know what you think
--kaitlin
This is what the end felt like; slipping into the dark, lifeless abyss that only a few would dare call home. The feeling that I had known so well was starting to consume my body. The purposelessness, the isolation, the feeling of just wanting to get out of this place and return to the place I had once called home, they were all starting to fill my mind. Each and every one of them, but truthfully, I deserved to feel this way; the things I have done can not be forgiven very easily.
I had been this way for years; I have actually lost count of the years to tell you the truth, who wouldn’t when they lead a life of solitaire, it was almost impossible not to loose count of how long one would sit in the same spot. With my knees drawn up to my chest, surrounded by the bare brick walls covered with traces of chipped grey paint, I wondered if I was ever going to get out of here. I wondered if anyone was even looking for me to come home to the life I left behind, I doubted it. Who would wait for, or even have hope for, someone who had given up on themselves, no one that’s who. I should have known better than go against the will of everyone whom I cared for. I should have known better than to just defy every good intention that I once held within my so called conscious… All I knew was I wish there was a way out of this ordeal.
The things I have done would seem immoral in the eyes of most, but to me, it seemed right at the time. The thought of just going out on a limb, breaking the rules for the first time in my life seemed like it would have been a good choice, but again, I found myself to be wrong. Like I have found out in my at one point happy twenty years of life, I wasn’t as smart as I had always counted myself to be. I was just a gullible woman who fell for the lies and tricks that man kind held up his sleeve. Did I know at the time that my actions would lead me here, locked away in a cell somewhere hidden from the rest of man kind… no, I didn’t. I knew that if I would have listened to those few close friends I wouldn’t have ended up here. I might still be away at college; satisfying the dream I once had to become a wealthy business woman. I still might have been able to become that woman, but I traded it all away for one night of excitement. One night that would change my whole life around.
I can still remember it, to this day, down to the last insignificant detail. It was all I ever thought about. Day after day, night after night it was just something that came to mind on a regular basis. That and the fact I couldn’t dream of forgetting the night that would change my life, the night which crushed all my dreams of living, and threw me in this cell that I have grown to know so well.
I remember the night being cold, the wind was blowing, the moon was out, and the cacophony of music was busting threw the walls feeling my chilled reddened ears. The people who at the time were my so called friends were standing around me in a huddle, all chattering about the nonsense we were soon to commit. My thoughts weren’t even on the subject at the time. They were every where else but here. To tell you the truth I believe my mind was focused on the guy standing next to me. Our hands were intertwined, and to tell you the truth with him I was happier than I had been in years.
Travis Morgan, the man whom was one of the reasons I was actually sitting here in this lonely damp cell. I had met him many years prior to the day, at a party sometime in my ninth grade year at Holland County High School. The two of us hit it off pretty quickly after we had met. We were the envied by every other couple of our graduating class. Everyone knew we would last, even voted most likely to marry in our high school year book. Who would have guessed they would all have been wrong.
My mind had defiantly been locked on him. Travis was the leader of our little group of six friends; we all looked up to him, every single one of us. He was a natural leader, he had always been one. At the same time, I have always noticed that he wasn’t just a hard, silent man. He had a soft side, a side that I was gracious enough to see. That side, and that side alone was the reason I couldn’t not listen to him, But on that tonight, I wished that for once in my life I would have not listened to Travis. With my hands locked in his, and my eyes perched on his perfectly sculpted face I watched as his plum red lips moved, and words began to spew out. I honestly can say that I was always the one to remember everything the man said. I was in love with him, how I could not, but being so in love with him made me make some bad decisions. If only I had listened to my mother back in my freshman year when the elderly woman had said numerous times that the boy was bad luck, if only.
It didn’t take long for me to realize what was going on. He had pulled out a case of beer, handing me one, even though I wasn’t fond of them, I had grown accustom to the taste by now though. It wasn’t like it was my first of the night, or even my second. It was more along the line of my tenth… To say anything I was drunk, not just drunk I think it would be more proper to say I was wasted. Did that stop me, no it didn’t. I just stood there listening to Travis give out the orders of how we were going to break into none other than Diana Holbrook’s house.
See Diana Holbrook was one of the wealthiest people we knew. She had gone to school with us, and in my opinion was a spoiled brat. Every day she would come to class bragging about what she was going to be doing this weekend. More like where her lawyer father was going to be flying them that weekend, had in been Paris, Australia, France, it didn’t matter if his little so called princess wanted it she got it. I couldn’t’ stand here. Actually Diana and I never got along; she had everything she wanted, besides one thing. Travis. Miss Holbrook had been in love with Travis from a very young age, but when the young man chose me, and not Diana, she was dumbstruck. She did everything in her power to try to make me look bad, but all it ended up doing was backfiring, but tonight, tonight Travis was planning his own revenge on her.
I remember sliding into the passenger seat of the old 1967 black impala, thinking that there was no way that we would ever get in trouble for any of this. Travis, who was drinking too slid into the driver seat. He was probably the best drunk driver out of us, not saying that any of use were safe to be on the road, but if any of us could make sure we arrived to our destination, it was Travis…
The road weaved and curved, but the only thing about the trip that actually stuck in my mind was the song that was playing in the background, something that is kind of ironic now if you ask me. Highway to hell, was blaring threw the suited up Impala speaker, flowing into my ears and landing permanent spot in my brain for the rest of my life. With my eyes locked on the window, looking out at the passing blurs of dark green, almost black trees, I can remember wondering why tonight of all nights Travis had planned on breaking into the young girls home. If you ask me I thought it was kind of a stupid idea, but being little gullible me, I didn’t think about questioning the never wrong Travis Morgan. I just rode there, silently next to him waiting to come to our destination.
My mind was starting to feel the major effects from all of the drinks I had consumed earlier in the evening. My words were starting to blur, and my eyesight was starting to double, triple, even starting to see fives, this night was the drunkest I could ever remember being.
The trees that were blurring by were starting to become more and more vivid, due to the fact that Travis was starting to slow down the car as we pulled to the front gate of the over sized manor that lied before us. It had always been huge, ten bedrooms, who knows how many baths, and well it was just completely ridiculous. No single female needed a house of that statue in any world. Even though the house was large Travis was sure we could make it in without her ever finding out, lets just say Travis had always been a little too large headed for his own good.
I remember the crunching noise of the nearly frozen grass as my size seven feet hopped out of the impala and planted firmly on the ground. I remember nearly falling, as my head went dizzy and my footing slipped from its once firmly grasped, but to my luck Travis had already made it around the car and caught me just in the nick of time. Pulling me back up close to him planting a sweet kiss on my forehead whispering the words careful love in my still cherry red ears. The color soon spread to my cheeks as I heard the rest of my friends awing at us as they circled around the two as we stood close to each other, my eyes locked on his. Travis being his normal self just gave them that look that would shut up even a crying baby.
Almost instantly I was calm yet again, and he just let me go before grabbing the black bag that held all the tools he would need to get through the house, but I didn’t see how in the world we were going to manage this, this house was bound to have some sort of security, just then though I noticed someone standing in our group of people, that reassured my little suspicions about us entering. David Blackwell, he was needless to say, a computer nerd. He could hack almost any system, tear down any firewall, or in this case an alarm system. David’s little skill was most likely the only reason we all passed high school.
Approaching the house was probably the most horrified I had ever been. All I could think about was what if we got caught. What if we got sent to jail, what if I never was to see Travis again, it was horrifying, but at the same time, in my drunken state of mind it was exhilarating. The adrenaline was pumping threw my veins making this whole situation even more appealing to me, because on any normal day, the good girl I normally was, would never have been here attempting to break into Diana Holbrook’s home.
As we stood there, now surrounding David, we watched as he pried the white front off of the alarm system, looking at the wires before taking a pair of wire cutters and cutting some wires (which I didn’t pay attention to because this wasn’t very interesting to me), before the whole system shut off, and now we could do what we pleased with this house.
Travis was already way ahead of my slowed drunken mind. He had moved over to the window next to the door placing two strips of tape over it, forming an ‘X’ over the window. Before I could realized what he was about to do, he took his elbow and bashed in the window, but instead of all the glass bursting inside the house, it stuck to the tape, keeping it relevantly in one peace for him to pull out, that’s where he made a mistake.
The almost scream he made, brought my body over to him before I could even realize what I was doing, but almost instantly my eyes locked on his hand, where a long cut was pouring a crimson red blood, I knew he had messed up, and that shocked me. Travis Morgan never messed up, but it was clear that today he did. I remember tearing my shirt, wrapping it around his hands, telling him we should just turn back, but he insisted we finished it off. He said it was still going to work, even though now…I had my doubts.
Watching as he cleared out the rest of the glass and stepped through the window, he asked if I wanted to come. Did I no. I didn’t. So for once I shook my head and told him was going to wait here, but soon would I regret that.
Standing there leaning against the cool stoned walls, I listened as the night went silent. I thought that maybe everything was going well, maybe it was, and maybe they got inside and finished what they wanted to do. Maybe they stole some money, or they were possibly vandalizing the house. I didn’t know, and truth be told I doubted I did want to know, but then something snapped me out of the calmed relaxed state I was starting to fall victim too.
One moment it went from a silent peaceful sound, to the blood curdling scream of one of the girls who was now running through the house, busting through the door. I could remember the look on her face, it was terrified, and before I had the chance to ask her what was wrong, she was gone. She took off running in the opposite direction, soon behind her was David, who looked at me and just said he had nothing to do with this.
So there I stood, confused, lost, wondering what was going on, only to see my boyfriend, my Travis walking out of the house with blood on his hands, but to my surprise it wasn’t his blood. It was someone else’s. Right then my heart dropped what had he done? I asked him over and over but he just said it wasn’t important and we had to leave; he said he had to get out of here, and fast. So I just nodded, going along with him as I always did a big mistake in my part.
Going to the car I tried to get into the passenger side seat, but only to my surprise Travis pressed his bloody hand to the window closing the door telling me I had to drive! Me I had to drive! Was he insane I was wasted, and the man wanted me to drive? Yes this whole situation had sobered me up a lot, but I was still in no condition to drive. He insisted it though, over and over again, and by this time the other two people who made up our group of six piled into the backseat of the car, both of them with blood on their clothes. I was lost, I was confused and I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked and I drove.
Getting into the front seat of the car and cranking up the roaring engine before pulling off down the road. It was hard for me to keep straight, defiantly as I tried to keep the car as straight as possible, which wasn’t as easy as it seemed. I found myself asking questions but just getting the same reply each time. Drive. I was driving, so didn’t know why he wouldn’t answer me. I just drove and drove, swerving off the rode numerous times, but always regaining control before I severely crashed the car.
I could remember the time just creeping by. It wasn’t going fast at all… But things were about to get bumpy. I remember looking over to Travis who was staring down at his hands, probably contemplating what he actually just did. I knew if I was responsibly for someone’s death as my beloved Travis now was, I would feel horrible. Actually horrible wouldn’t be the word to describe it. No, more like heartless. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I murdered a part of my own soul just for the life of another.
Things stayed like that for a while. Silent, with a thick gloomy feeling surrounding everyone who was perched in the car. The look on Travis’s face was starting to get to me. His eyes weren’t even themselves. They were dark, lifeless, and almost empty, besides the slight glimmer of life that appeared when those green eyes moved up to meet my icy blue ones. I thought at that moment maybe everything would be ok, but I was wrong. The peaceful moment that was starting to take over me once again was snatched away when I heard the horrific screams from the couple placed in the backseat…Then it went black.
I don’t know how long I was out after that. I really can’t remember. I was told by more than one person that I had been in a coma for about two months. A two whole months, and at the time my memory was no where in sight. I couldn’t even remember how I had arrived in the hospital, but when I tried to move and found that my hand had been stationed to the bed by a silver pair of handcuffs. Right at that moment I knew this was bad. I knew that something severe must have happened to place me here in this bed.
I was right about something bad happening as I lied in the bed for countless days, the police stationed outside my door, had seemed to have lost their speech, because they would only say little about my placement here.
I do remember them telling me that people had died. One girl murdered, and four dead in some vehicle crash. The thing was, I didn’t remember a crash, and I didn’t remember even getting in a car… All though this was all being dished out to my jumbled up mind, I could only think of one thing, Travis, and the fact that he wasn’t here with me. I would ask relentlessly about the man, and where he was, only to receive the same response, even though it wasn’t even truthfully an answer. It was a look, a simple look that to this day resided in my mind.
After a while, I think I put the pieces together, I knew something was wrong, and I started wanting answers, but I never got them. Not until June second, the day that I was released from the hospital, and was suppose to get to be able to go home. Instead, I was taken to a federal woman’s prison immediately after my release. I was confused, and I wanted answers yet again, did I ever get these. No not verbally at least.
The police escorted ride to the prison was the most remember able thing I will probably ever encounter in my life that has seemed to be short lived. I remember how the cop in the front seat was reading a newspaper that had been dated June 1st, which in this case did happen to be yesterday. The thing that actually caught my eye wasn’t the date, but the headline that was printed clearly across the top of the paper in bold face letters.
The words burned threw my brain quicker than acid would have threw a simple piece of paper. My name was plastered across the top of the paper; I can say I remember every word of it as I always will. ‘The woman who was responsible for the death of the four people from the deadly car crash four months ago was released from the hospital and sent to her rightful place in prison. Three of the persons who were in the car at the time of the crash were thought to be involved in the murder of one Diana Holbrook. Though yet it is unknown whether the one soul survivor of the crash was actually one of the people who killed the young woman is yet to be known… but she will be trialed on the day of July 24th. ’ Jumbled up in the words the names under the deceased caught my eye, Travis Morgan’s name was the only one that I cared about.
I almost instantly started to cry, I didn’t just cry, I sobbed the rest of the car ride, the police didn’t even bother to see what was wrong. They just stared at me for the longest moment, something that just made my tears worse. I am not sure if crying was unusual for police rides to federal prison, I assumed it was, but the look of hate I received from the officers in the seat above me to this day send chills down my tanned back.
My days after that ride seemed to grow shorter and shorter as I became familiar with the same gray room that I stay in today. The trial did follow soon after my imprisonment, and that’s when everything was explained to me.
I think its safe to say that the one month long trail was the longest days of my life. Everything slowed down as I sat there in the same spot day after day, listening to the cries of my family who was sitting behind me. Everyone who made up the jury was giving me the same disgusted look, right away i knew this wasn't going to turn out good on my part. I had watched criminal shows in the past, and once the jury was convinced of something it was final... Definatly when all the evidence was pointing towards me being guilty, because in all honest...I was, not in the same way as Travis and the others, but in a since as I could ave prevented all of this from happening, but I didn't. Now there are five people dead, and here I stand, alive with all of it perched on my shoulders.
I was charged for assist in a murder that I didn’t even know about. The house that I helped break into was now empty of the woman whom had lived in it previously, Travis and his friends, when I thought they were just breaking in to steal some things had something bigger on mind. The bigger thing being the death of a certain Diana Holbrook. The charges didn't stop there for me though. I was given extra years for DUI, and the fact that at the time I was too young to drink.
Things now are a lot clearer to me.The drive away from the house is what put me in the hospital. Apparently when I got caught up in my boyfriend, I swerved to the other side of the rode hitting another car head on. Sending my now deceased boyfriend threw the window, along with killing the driver of the other car on contact.
The doctors say it’s a miracle that I am alive. I believe it is more of a curse. A curse that I now have to live with the rest of my life, live with the fact that I am the reason that all of my friends are dead, and the fact that well, if I would have went into that house on that night I probably could have stopped Travis from killing that girl, but I didn’t. So now I get to sit here, in this cell for another ten years I would have to say. That I actually regret that night, and would do anything in my power to take it all back… But here I am, living in a cursed, lonely, cell, subdued from the world that I ache to return to.
So let me know what you think--kaitlin
____
Regret
This is what the end felt like; slipping into the dark, lifeless abyss that only a few would dare call home. The feeling that I had known so well was starting to consume my body. The purposelessness, the isolation, the feeling of just wanting to get out of this place and return to the place I had once called home, they were all starting to fill my mind. Each and every one of them, but truthfully, I deserved to feel this way; the things I have done can not be forgiven very easily.
I had been this way for years; I have actually lost count of the years to tell you the truth, who wouldn’t when they lead a life of solitaire, it was almost impossible not to loose count of how long one would sit in the same spot. With my knees drawn up to my chest, surrounded by the bare brick walls covered with traces of chipped grey paint, I wondered if I was ever going to get out of here. I wondered if anyone was even looking for me to come home to the life I left behind, I doubted it. Who would wait for, or even have hope for, someone who had given up on themselves, no one that’s who. I should have known better than go against the will of everyone whom I cared for. I should have known better than to just defy every good intention that I once held within my so called conscious… All I knew was I wish there was a way out of this ordeal.
The things I have done would seem immoral in the eyes of most, but to me, it seemed right at the time. The thought of just going out on a limb, breaking the rules for the first time in my life seemed like it would have been a good choice, but again, I found myself to be wrong. Like I have found out in my at one point happy twenty years of life, I wasn’t as smart as I had always counted myself to be. I was just a gullible woman who fell for the lies and tricks that man kind held up his sleeve. Did I know at the time that my actions would lead me here, locked away in a cell somewhere hidden from the rest of man kind… no, I didn’t. I knew that if I would have listened to those few close friends I wouldn’t have ended up here. I might still be away at college; satisfying the dream I once had to become a wealthy business woman. I still might have been able to become that woman, but I traded it all away for one night of excitement. One night that would change my whole life around.
I can still remember it, to this day, down to the last insignificant detail. It was all I ever thought about. Day after day, night after night it was just something that came to mind on a regular basis. That and the fact I couldn’t dream of forgetting the night that would change my life, the night which crushed all my dreams of living, and threw me in this cell that I have grown to know so well.
I remember the night being cold, the wind was blowing, the moon was out, and the cacophony of music was busting threw the walls feeling my chilled reddened ears. The people who at the time were my so called friends were standing around me in a huddle, all chattering about the nonsense we were soon to commit. My thoughts weren’t even on the subject at the time. They were every where else but here. To tell you the truth I believe my mind was focused on the guy standing next to me. Our hands were intertwined, and to tell you the truth with him I was happier than I had been in years.
Travis Morgan, the man whom was one of the reasons I was actually sitting here in this lonely damp cell. I had met him many years prior to the day, at a party sometime in my ninth grade year at Holland County High School. The two of us hit it off pretty quickly after we had met. We were the envied by every other couple of our graduating class. Everyone knew we would last, even voted most likely to marry in our high school year book. Who would have guessed they would all have been wrong.
My mind had defiantly been locked on him. Travis was the leader of our little group of six friends; we all looked up to him, every single one of us. He was a natural leader, he had always been one. At the same time, I have always noticed that he wasn’t just a hard, silent man. He had a soft side, a side that I was gracious enough to see. That side, and that side alone was the reason I couldn’t not listen to him, But on that tonight, I wished that for once in my life I would have not listened to Travis. With my hands locked in his, and my eyes perched on his perfectly sculpted face I watched as his plum red lips moved, and words began to spew out. I honestly can say that I was always the one to remember everything the man said. I was in love with him, how I could not, but being so in love with him made me make some bad decisions. If only I had listened to my mother back in my freshman year when the elderly woman had said numerous times that the boy was bad luck, if only.
It didn’t take long for me to realize what was going on. He had pulled out a case of beer, handing me one, even though I wasn’t fond of them, I had grown accustom to the taste by now though. It wasn’t like it was my first of the night, or even my second. It was more along the line of my tenth… To say anything I was drunk, not just drunk I think it would be more proper to say I was wasted. Did that stop me, no it didn’t. I just stood there listening to Travis give out the orders of how we were going to break into none other than Diana Holbrook’s house.
See Diana Holbrook was one of the wealthiest people we knew. She had gone to school with us, and in my opinion was a spoiled brat. Every day she would come to class bragging about what she was going to be doing this weekend. More like where her lawyer father was going to be flying them that weekend, had in been Paris, Australia, France, it didn’t matter if his little so called princess wanted it she got it. I couldn’t’ stand here. Actually Diana and I never got along; she had everything she wanted, besides one thing. Travis. Miss Holbrook had been in love with Travis from a very young age, but when the young man chose me, and not Diana, she was dumbstruck. She did everything in her power to try to make me look bad, but all it ended up doing was backfiring, but tonight, tonight Travis was planning his own revenge on her.
I remember sliding into the passenger seat of the old 1967 black impala, thinking that there was no way that we would ever get in trouble for any of this. Travis, who was drinking too slid into the driver seat. He was probably the best drunk driver out of us, not saying that any of use were safe to be on the road, but if any of us could make sure we arrived to our destination, it was Travis…
The road weaved and curved, but the only thing about the trip that actually stuck in my mind was the song that was playing in the background, something that is kind of ironic now if you ask me. Highway to hell, was blaring threw the suited up Impala speaker, flowing into my ears and landing permanent spot in my brain for the rest of my life. With my eyes locked on the window, looking out at the passing blurs of dark green, almost black trees, I can remember wondering why tonight of all nights Travis had planned on breaking into the young girls home. If you ask me I thought it was kind of a stupid idea, but being little gullible me, I didn’t think about questioning the never wrong Travis Morgan. I just rode there, silently next to him waiting to come to our destination.
My mind was starting to feel the major effects from all of the drinks I had consumed earlier in the evening. My words were starting to blur, and my eyesight was starting to double, triple, even starting to see fives, this night was the drunkest I could ever remember being.
The trees that were blurring by were starting to become more and more vivid, due to the fact that Travis was starting to slow down the car as we pulled to the front gate of the over sized manor that lied before us. It had always been huge, ten bedrooms, who knows how many baths, and well it was just completely ridiculous. No single female needed a house of that statue in any world. Even though the house was large Travis was sure we could make it in without her ever finding out, lets just say Travis had always been a little too large headed for his own good.
I remember the crunching noise of the nearly frozen grass as my size seven feet hopped out of the impala and planted firmly on the ground. I remember nearly falling, as my head went dizzy and my footing slipped from its once firmly grasped, but to my luck Travis had already made it around the car and caught me just in the nick of time. Pulling me back up close to him planting a sweet kiss on my forehead whispering the words careful love in my still cherry red ears. The color soon spread to my cheeks as I heard the rest of my friends awing at us as they circled around the two as we stood close to each other, my eyes locked on his. Travis being his normal self just gave them that look that would shut up even a crying baby.
Almost instantly I was calm yet again, and he just let me go before grabbing the black bag that held all the tools he would need to get through the house, but I didn’t see how in the world we were going to manage this, this house was bound to have some sort of security, just then though I noticed someone standing in our group of people, that reassured my little suspicions about us entering. David Blackwell, he was needless to say, a computer nerd. He could hack almost any system, tear down any firewall, or in this case an alarm system. David’s little skill was most likely the only reason we all passed high school.
Approaching the house was probably the most horrified I had ever been. All I could think about was what if we got caught. What if we got sent to jail, what if I never was to see Travis again, it was horrifying, but at the same time, in my drunken state of mind it was exhilarating. The adrenaline was pumping threw my veins making this whole situation even more appealing to me, because on any normal day, the good girl I normally was, would never have been here attempting to break into Diana Holbrook’s home.
As we stood there, now surrounding David, we watched as he pried the white front off of the alarm system, looking at the wires before taking a pair of wire cutters and cutting some wires (which I didn’t pay attention to because this wasn’t very interesting to me), before the whole system shut off, and now we could do what we pleased with this house.
Travis was already way ahead of my slowed drunken mind. He had moved over to the window next to the door placing two strips of tape over it, forming an ‘X’ over the window. Before I could realized what he was about to do, he took his elbow and bashed in the window, but instead of all the glass bursting inside the house, it stuck to the tape, keeping it relevantly in one peace for him to pull out, that’s where he made a mistake.
The almost scream he made, brought my body over to him before I could even realize what I was doing, but almost instantly my eyes locked on his hand, where a long cut was pouring a crimson red blood, I knew he had messed up, and that shocked me. Travis Morgan never messed up, but it was clear that today he did. I remember tearing my shirt, wrapping it around his hands, telling him we should just turn back, but he insisted we finished it off. He said it was still going to work, even though now…I had my doubts.
Watching as he cleared out the rest of the glass and stepped through the window, he asked if I wanted to come. Did I no. I didn’t. So for once I shook my head and told him was going to wait here, but soon would I regret that.
Standing there leaning against the cool stoned walls, I listened as the night went silent. I thought that maybe everything was going well, maybe it was, and maybe they got inside and finished what they wanted to do. Maybe they stole some money, or they were possibly vandalizing the house. I didn’t know, and truth be told I doubted I did want to know, but then something snapped me out of the calmed relaxed state I was starting to fall victim too.
One moment it went from a silent peaceful sound, to the blood curdling scream of one of the girls who was now running through the house, busting through the door. I could remember the look on her face, it was terrified, and before I had the chance to ask her what was wrong, she was gone. She took off running in the opposite direction, soon behind her was David, who looked at me and just said he had nothing to do with this.
So there I stood, confused, lost, wondering what was going on, only to see my boyfriend, my Travis walking out of the house with blood on his hands, but to my surprise it wasn’t his blood. It was someone else’s. Right then my heart dropped what had he done? I asked him over and over but he just said it wasn’t important and we had to leave; he said he had to get out of here, and fast. So I just nodded, going along with him as I always did a big mistake in my part.
Going to the car I tried to get into the passenger side seat, but only to my surprise Travis pressed his bloody hand to the window closing the door telling me I had to drive! Me I had to drive! Was he insane I was wasted, and the man wanted me to drive? Yes this whole situation had sobered me up a lot, but I was still in no condition to drive. He insisted it though, over and over again, and by this time the other two people who made up our group of six piled into the backseat of the car, both of them with blood on their clothes. I was lost, I was confused and I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked and I drove.
Getting into the front seat of the car and cranking up the roaring engine before pulling off down the road. It was hard for me to keep straight, defiantly as I tried to keep the car as straight as possible, which wasn’t as easy as it seemed. I found myself asking questions but just getting the same reply each time. Drive. I was driving, so didn’t know why he wouldn’t answer me. I just drove and drove, swerving off the rode numerous times, but always regaining control before I severely crashed the car.
I could remember the time just creeping by. It wasn’t going fast at all… But things were about to get bumpy. I remember looking over to Travis who was staring down at his hands, probably contemplating what he actually just did. I knew if I was responsibly for someone’s death as my beloved Travis now was, I would feel horrible. Actually horrible wouldn’t be the word to describe it. No, more like heartless. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I murdered a part of my own soul just for the life of another.
Things stayed like that for a while. Silent, with a thick gloomy feeling surrounding everyone who was perched in the car. The look on Travis’s face was starting to get to me. His eyes weren’t even themselves. They were dark, lifeless, and almost empty, besides the slight glimmer of life that appeared when those green eyes moved up to meet my icy blue ones. I thought at that moment maybe everything would be ok, but I was wrong. The peaceful moment that was starting to take over me once again was snatched away when I heard the horrific screams from the couple placed in the backseat…Then it went black.
I don’t know how long I was out after that. I really can’t remember. I was told by more than one person that I had been in a coma for about two months. A two whole months, and at the time my memory was no where in sight. I couldn’t even remember how I had arrived in the hospital, but when I tried to move and found that my hand had been stationed to the bed by a silver pair of handcuffs. Right at that moment I knew this was bad. I knew that something severe must have happened to place me here in this bed.
I was right about something bad happening as I lied in the bed for countless days, the police stationed outside my door, had seemed to have lost their speech, because they would only say little about my placement here.
I do remember them telling me that people had died. One girl murdered, and four dead in some vehicle crash. The thing was, I didn’t remember a crash, and I didn’t remember even getting in a car… All though this was all being dished out to my jumbled up mind, I could only think of one thing, Travis, and the fact that he wasn’t here with me. I would ask relentlessly about the man, and where he was, only to receive the same response, even though it wasn’t even truthfully an answer. It was a look, a simple look that to this day resided in my mind.
After a while, I think I put the pieces together, I knew something was wrong, and I started wanting answers, but I never got them. Not until June second, the day that I was released from the hospital, and was suppose to get to be able to go home. Instead, I was taken to a federal woman’s prison immediately after my release. I was confused, and I wanted answers yet again, did I ever get these. No not verbally at least.
The police escorted ride to the prison was the most remember able thing I will probably ever encounter in my life that has seemed to be short lived. I remember how the cop in the front seat was reading a newspaper that had been dated June 1st, which in this case did happen to be yesterday. The thing that actually caught my eye wasn’t the date, but the headline that was printed clearly across the top of the paper in bold face letters.
The words burned threw my brain quicker than acid would have threw a simple piece of paper. My name was plastered across the top of the paper; I can say I remember every word of it as I always will. ‘The woman who was responsible for the death of the four people from the deadly car crash four months ago was released from the hospital and sent to her rightful place in prison. Three of the persons who were in the car at the time of the crash were thought to be involved in the murder of one Diana Holbrook. Though yet it is unknown whether the one soul survivor of the crash was actually one of the people who killed the young woman is yet to be known… but she will be trialed on the day of July 24th. ’ Jumbled up in the words the names under the deceased caught my eye, Travis Morgan’s name was the only one that I cared about.
I almost instantly started to cry, I didn’t just cry, I sobbed the rest of the car ride, the police didn’t even bother to see what was wrong. They just stared at me for the longest moment, something that just made my tears worse. I am not sure if crying was unusual for police rides to federal prison, I assumed it was, but the look of hate I received from the officers in the seat above me to this day send chills down my tanned back.
My days after that ride seemed to grow shorter and shorter as I became familiar with the same gray room that I stay in today. The trial did follow soon after my imprisonment, and that’s when everything was explained to me.
I think its safe to say that the one month long trail was the longest days of my life. Everything slowed down as I sat there in the same spot day after day, listening to the cries of my family who was sitting behind me. Everyone who made up the jury was giving me the same disgusted look, right away i knew this wasn't going to turn out good on my part. I had watched criminal shows in the past, and once the jury was convinced of something it was final... Definatly when all the evidence was pointing towards me being guilty, because in all honest...I was, not in the same way as Travis and the others, but in a since as I could ave prevented all of this from happening, but I didn't. Now there are five people dead, and here I stand, alive with all of it perched on my shoulders.
I was charged for assist in a murder that I didn’t even know about. The house that I helped break into was now empty of the woman whom had lived in it previously, Travis and his friends, when I thought they were just breaking in to steal some things had something bigger on mind. The bigger thing being the death of a certain Diana Holbrook. The charges didn't stop there for me though. I was given extra years for DUI, and the fact that at the time I was too young to drink.
Things now are a lot clearer to me.The drive away from the house is what put me in the hospital. Apparently when I got caught up in my boyfriend, I swerved to the other side of the rode hitting another car head on. Sending my now deceased boyfriend threw the window, along with killing the driver of the other car on contact.
The doctors say it’s a miracle that I am alive. I believe it is more of a curse. A curse that I now have to live with the rest of my life, live with the fact that I am the reason that all of my friends are dead, and the fact that well, if I would have went into that house on that night I probably could have stopped Travis from killing that girl, but I didn’t. So now I get to sit here, in this cell for another ten years I would have to say. That I actually regret that night, and would do anything in my power to take it all back… But here I am, living in a cursed, lonely, cell, subdued from the world that I ache to return to.