- only you, it's only you ( blaze )

[gem]

The grounds were empty, the cold January wind and the threat of the lock down chasing all the students inside, to huddle by fireplaces in the safety of the warms hall and common rooms. No one braved the blowing snows except one person, a black speck on the white landscape of snow that blanketed the grass and trees. Shivering, Gemma pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on the tops of her legs. Hugging her arms around herself Gem closed her eyes, bracing herself against the faint wind that blew against her face. The chilling breeze had already turned the tips of her ears and nose red, and a flush had rose high into the apples of her cheeks. Her fingers were starting to numb and Gemma curled her hands into fists, letting her nails bite into her palms. Through she had dressed in a thick sweater, her clocked wrapped around her with the hood drawn up to cover her hair Gemma could still feel the cold, and she welcomed it.

The chill was a distraction, focusing on the physical discomfort was a lot easier then the emotional pain, but the weather wasn't a big enough distraction. Her conscience was still pounding at her head, her guilt an overwhelming god that she couldn't break through. She had come out to the lake to escape the volley of questions from her peers. Her fellow students could tell the something was wrong, the conflict visible on her face, but Gemma was keeping her lips sealed, which only strengthened their determination for answers. The solitude of the lake only meant that she was alone with her thoughts and as she sat on the shore, staring out across the water she was only accosted by her own question, why? She hated herself right now, hated everything she had done in the past day. Angry at herself Gemma clenched her jaw, taking in a deep breath. She was nothing more the a lying hypocrite, after preaching on and on to Adriana, only to go out and do it herself. Just a few drinks and one stupid, irreversible mistake and everything was gone. Everything that really mattered lost, broken apart by one damn kiss. The optimism she had tried to force onto Adriana earlier was completely hone, the rose coloured glasses off, and Gemma was just starting to see the bleak future that lay ahead for her now.

There was no way Gemma could even hope for forgiveness from Adriana, after promising her friend to help her. Fuck, it had been trying to help her that had gotten Gemma caught up in this mess. This was never supposed to happen, she was just supposed to go out and try and convince Ty that forgiving Adriana was a good idea, and instead they had started drinking and one thing had lead to another. Thank Merlin that it had never gone farther then that kiss, but even that was enough to guarantee that Adriana would never forgive her. And Blaze. She hadn't told anyone yet, let alone him but Gemma knew that as much as she hoped and wanted forgiveness from him it already too late. One day and one kiss too late.

She needed to go find him and confess, face her problem head on but every time she had tried she hadn't been able to actually do it. Twice she had started on her way to his office only to find her turning around, or detouring down another corridor. Just an hour ago Gemma had been in front of his door, about to knock when her courage had fled once more and since then she had been out here, trying to summon up the will to just face whatever was coming. She deserved whatever did happen, but that didn't make facing it any easier. They were all right. Kelsey, Dominique, Laci, her mother. Gemma had truly convinced herself that she had changed since Isadora had been born, but now it seemed that her past was back, mocking her. The sound of footsteps crunching in the snow was enough to jolt Gemma out of her brooding, but she couldn't find enough energy to care and look to see who was coming. Probably some teacher to herd her back inside and scold her about the lock down.

SO HEY THERE BLAZE. I THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS POST HAS ABOUT 727 WORDS. PRETTY NIFTY, EH? NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT THE OUTFIT I MADE. ONE LAST THING I'M SO RUSTY. > <. OH, BTW, KENNATRONIC @ caution 2.0 MADE THIS.

[blaze]

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The hallow emerald eyes focused on the bleak grey walls that protected him from the outside world, it was this cage that kept him safe from that world. A world of lies, betrayal and broken trust. A world away from Gemma. Without these barriers nothing would protect him, and nothing could help him except the one thing he could always depend on in this life, alcohol. The alcohol was the only thing that could cure the pain, only temporarily though. Nothing would erase the memory that left him shattered. Gemma and Tiberius. The thought alone caused fire to run through his veins. Hate and fury filled his heart. The more he drank, the quicker the time passed, and with time, the wall around his heart began rebuilding itself. It would only take time before he pushed everyone out, he’d learn his lesson and move on. The only question was, how much time would it take? How long would it be until he was able to continue with his whoring days, and forget the one person that knocked down the wall around his heart? To ask himself that question now, there was only one answer. Never.

The pace of his heart increased drastically at the very thought of Gemma and Tiberius together. What confused him most was that he didn’t know who to be more angry at. All these overwhelming emotions could bring his heart to a halt, he was sure of it. Why would Gemma throw it all away, didn’t she tell him she was happy? What did he do wrong? Why would Tiberius throw the years of friendship and trust away? Why would he betray Adriana? Questions needed to be answered, but instead of going on the hunt to find Gemma and Ty, he returned to the safety of his office where he grabbed the bottle’s of Russian vodka and drank himself into depression. He’d only just discovered Gem’s infidelity the night before, and already he hadn’t slept and has consistently drank without any second thought. When he regained control of himself, then he’d go and find them, where’d they’d probably be together, doing merlin knows what. That thought alone led him to grab one of the empty bottles of vodka and throw it against the wall, examining it smash into dozens of tiny crystals. It was safe to say that the events that had taken place had left Blaze Dolohov broken and confused. Lost in the confinements of his office, afraid to the world he left behind.

What did this mean? Where did this leave him? Giving up and running away had been Blaze’s speciality. When things became tough and too hard to handle, he dropped it like it’s hot. But something kept him grounded. This time, something pulled him back, his feet where glued to the ground. Had there not been so much at stake, he’d take his coat and walk away. Then Isadora came to mind, and the life he’d planned for himself. The future that Gemma and his daughter had been apart of. He didn’t want that to change, nor did he want to look like the fool. Did he have too much pride to let her back in? Did Gemma even want back into his heart? There was too many questions that needed answered, and he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for them to come to him.

Walking through the corridors and stopping the occasional student, asking if they’d seen Gemma Ackerly around, he got little response, except one girl managed to inform him that she had wandered outside towards the castle grounds. What was she doing out there? Not only was she breaking rules of engagement but also school rules. With a sigh, he placed his suit jacket out and made his way out to the snowy wonderland. His feet began walking through the snow, leading him to the unknown. He just kept walking, with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted towards the ground. He came close to giving up, until his eyes glanced ahead and fell upon a figure not too far ahead. Blaze’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Practically stumbling towards her, he stopped when he felt that the distance was enough. “Let me guess. You’re out here hiding. Hiding from problems. Problems that involve you and a certain Mr. Greyback.” Blaze spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes glared daggers at the back of Gemma’s head. “You gold digging through his pockets now, eh?” Clenching his fists, he continued to speak, “When the hell were you planning on telling me?” The cold tone immediately broke into a yell, his new found confidence seemed to get the best of him.

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^{TAG - sayGEMMA?
WORDS - sayA FEW?
NOTES - say LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO BLAZE?
TUNES - two birds stoned at once , chiodos.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[gem]

Pushing herself up to her feet, stumbling slightly in the snow as she whirled around to face Blaze, Gemma shook her head desperately, looking up at him. "...How?" The word was out before Gemma could think about what she was saying. Now it truly would seem like she was trying to hide it, and she shook her head again, "No Blaze, it isn't like that!" Taking a step forward Gemma stopped, at a loss of what to do. It seemed like anything she could say would only push him farther away, but she had to try at least. As his voice increased Gemma bit her lip, dropping her gaze. She couldn't stand the expression on his face, and the knowledge that she was the one responsible for putting it there. His accusations hurt, but Gemma didn't try to defend herself, know that he was completely justified in his anger, and that right now she deserved the pain. Glancing quickly up at him Gemma hurriedly hid her eyes again, still unable to face him. "I tried! I was going to tell you, but..." Gemma honestly didn't know what to say. Saying she had been scared didn't feel like it would be enough but there wasn't really another answer. "I just couldn't. I..I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me. And now you do."

That had been what had scared her the most. Not admitting her mistake, or begging for forgiveness, but the chance that she might not receive forgiveness. Gemma didn't know what to do with herself now. When she had come back to Hogswarts, and Blaze had come back into her life she had never considered the possibility of a future without him, and now that that future seemed farther and farther out her grasp with each passing second Gemma was literally falling apart. She hated herself for always being such a disappointment, and as much as she wanted to hate Ty and blame him as well she knew it was all on her. She was the one at fault, but Gemma had no idea how she could recover from this mistake. Pressing her lips tightly together to keep her mouth from quivering she forced herself to look back up into his face and immediately regretted it. The face that stared back at her was cold and untouchable, giving an new meaning to looks that could kill.

If only she could take it back. If only. It was a fanciful wish and it was stupid for Gemma to even think it. There was no way this was going to be easy, Gemma was more then aware of that. If only she had been able to tell him herself, maybe that would have changed things, if she had been willing to face him. For a moment Gemma wondered how he had found out. There was no way that Tiberius would tell, no way that he would have faced Blaze himself, and there hadn't been anyone that Gemma recognized in the Hogs Head that night. However, it probably hadn't been hard for someone to see one of the infamous Greyback twins with someone who certainly was his fiancee and put two and two together. It didn't matter who had told Blaze, the only thing that mattered know was trying to fix things. "I'm sorry." Gemma wasn't sure she had said the words, they slipped so quietly from her lips but they hung in the cold air between them, the only thing that Gemma could hope would work.

SO HEY THERE BLAZE. I THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS POST HAS ABOUT BLEH WORDS. PRETTY NIFTY, EH? NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT THE OUTFIT I MADE. ONE LAST THING THIS SUCKS. HARDCORE.. OH, BTW, KENNATRONIC @ caution 2.0 MADE THIS.

[blaze]

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Clemency had never been a real problem for Blaze Dolohov, as surprising as it may sound. Despite being a loyal follower of the death eaters, being brought into a family of hate and spite, also being second in command of the wizarding mafia, forgiveness had been almost second nature to him. Antonin would say it was his greatest weakness, while others would refer to it as his greatest strength. If forgiveness didn’t come easy then where would he go in life? He forgave Helena for screwing anyone that breathed during their short-lived marriage, he forgave Dominique for leaving him without a trace, he forgave Gemma for running off without any notice and he already knew he’d forgive Tiberius for the betrayal that caused his own downfall. The question was, could he forgive Gemma again? Or could he willingly let her walk back out of his life? The thought of dropping everything, forgetting his future and letting her walk out of his life just as quickly as she walked right back into it, seemed merely impossible. But what if she no longer wanted the future Blaze aimed for, what if she had a change of mind, or even a change of heart?

How long had this been going on? Had it been happening right under his nose and he stupidly ignored the obvious? If so, Blaze felt like everything was drawing to a closing point. The ache in his heart continued, if not becoming more painful. He could no longer stand before her and hope for the best. What was the best in situations like these? The hurt was evident in his features, the anger noticeable in his eyes, and the defeat radiating off him as he stared helplessly at the one person he let all the way in, the one person who understood him and probably had the same messed up compass as he did. He was just so confused. Why did these things always happen to him? What did he do wrong? He had promised her happiness, devoted himself to their family, swore he’d love no one other than her. Wasn’t that what everyone wanted? Wasn’t that what he finally deserved after all these years of confusion and heartache?

Blaze stood still as he watched her lips part and words escape, but they made no sense to him. He just watched in silence, not responding immediately. “Where did I go wrong?” He finally blurted out, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “I need to know for the sake of when or if I give up on this that at least I know where I went wrong.” His raspy voice lowered, becoming barely audible. It was obvious he’d been on the verge of breaking point. Staring at her, Blaze began to advance on Gem, this possibly being the longest time he’d managed to keep his hands off her. With every step he took, he felt closer to home, to safety. Coming into reach with her, he began, “I love you Gemma Ackerly, and that’s not going to change over one night. I want to be with you, I still want to marry you and be the family that we’ve always meant to be. But I need to know do you still want it? Is this the life you wish to lead…or will Tiberius make you happy. Quite frankly Gemma, I just want you to be happy.” His emerald green eyes softened as he leaned his forehead against hers momentarily, “I’m sorry if I wasn’t good enough.”

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^{TAG - sayGEMMA?
WORDS - sayA FEW?
NOTES - say LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO BLAZE?
TUNES - two birds stoned at once , chiodos.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[gem]

Gemma wished she could have claimed that everything that night had been a blur, that she had been way to drunk to remember a thing but that was more of a lie then anything else. Each little detail seemed seared into her memory and she was unable to forget a single moment, as much as she desperately wanted to be able to. She had met Ty at the Hogshead, and seated at the bar the number of empty glasses littering the bar top increasing more rapidly then they should have as the conversation moved farther and farther away from Adriana with each shot. They had both reached for their glasses at the same time, the backs of their hands brushing and then they had kissed. And had kept doing so until Gemma had whispered something that had snapped both of them back painfully into reality. His name. She had murmured Blaze's name against Tiberius' lips and that had been more then enough to stop everything. Taking a deep breath Gemma looked back up at him. He hadn't a said a word since she had started speaking, and the blank look on his face suggested that what she had said hadn't really registered or mattered. Fervently praying that this confession wouldn't comdemn her even more Gemma parted her lips to talk again and then stopped as he drew closer.

Watching him silently as he stepped closer towards her Gemma wondered what exactly was going on in his head at that moment. Closing her eyes tightly to ward off the tears that threatened to spill Gemma opened them again at the sound of his voice, to find him standing right before her. A few inches closer and there wouldn't have been any space between them. She could feel the heat from his body, and just his presence, so close to her gave her the urge to reach out with her hand, just to have some sort of contact with him. It was too much, to have him so close to her, and yet be so unsure of their future and Gemma quickly wiped away the tear that trailed down her check with an angry movement of her head. Blinking watery eyes in surprise Gemma drew a sharp breath, uncertain that she was hearing him correctly.

The relief that built up inside her was absolutely intoxicating, a shuddery laugh escape from her lips before Gemma could even think about it. Shaking her head ardently Gem brought her hand up to his face, running her thumb along the line of his jaw. His skin was warm, flushed under her chilled fingers and Gemma couldn’t pull her hand back, once she had touched him. ”No, no, no. Nothing you did was wrong Blaze, you’re perfect…” Her voice was hoarse with emotion, no louder then a whisper. ”I’m the one who was wrong, I messed up, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Blaze.” The words came out in a rush, and Gemma kept her gaze anxiously on his face as she spoke.

SO HEY THERE BLAZE. I THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS POST HAS ABOUT BLEH WORDS. PRETTY NIFTY, EH? NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT THE OUTFIT I MADE. ONE LAST THING THIS SUCKS. HARDCORE.. OH, BTW, KENNATRONIC @ caution 2.0 MADE THIS.

[blaze]

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Since reality had hit home, the moment Laci Ackerly blurted out the terrifying truth, Blaze had a new found fear. This year alone would be enough to drive one man over the edge. The things that have occurred in Blaze’s life this year alone, do not happen to the average man in a twelve month time line. His year alone consisted of; two engagements, one marriage, a few affairs, a divorce, began dating and lived with a Weasley, Gemma returned with his daughter, became engaged…again, cheated…again, and now faced losing Gemma all over again. No. He wouldn’t stand there and let her slip through his fingers like he had previously, two years before. No matter how much anger that welled up inside of him, no matter how much he wanted to shout and argue, he was willing to forget it all just to have her come to bed with him at the end of the day. It was now that he was aware of the blunt truth, he loved Gemma Ackerly, and he refused to live without her. Blaze had loved her from the moment she dedicated her attention to him, and he, loving every chance she took to spend time with him. She, of all the women Blaze had crossed paths with during his years as a notorious player at Hogwarts, Gemma was the one who had captured his heart and never gave it back and Blaze would have it no other way. His heart was where it belonged, with her.

As much as he’d love to say that he was forgiving Gemma out of the goodness of his heart, he also had reason behind the logic. Reasons to which no one was aware of, or so Blaze assumed. The reason being that, as hard as Blaze had tried to keep himself on a tight leash, he had strayed once, unknown to Gemma. He had no desire for his one night fling to be out, that would open a can of worms he’d hope to keep closed. Their relationship was already hanging by a thread, the last thing they needed was for Blaze to confess that he too, had pleaded guilty of sleeping with someone else during their time together. What made matters ten times worse was that it wasn’t just some random girl he picked up from the streets, it had been no other than his ex-wife, Helena Greyback. That single detail alone would blow the relationship up, leaving nothing but vague memories.

Gazing at the woman he had devoted himself to, the corner’s of Blaze’s lips tugged into a crooked smile. He took no pleasure in witnessing Gemma so worked up and upset over the situation. Blaze had simply came here to get an explanation, and now he felt like there was no real need for any explanation. Her touch was enough to drive any man crazy, and the shiver automatically shot up his back. This was where he belonged, she was the one he wanted to spend his future with and all he wanted was to make her happy. “You don’t need to be sorry, Gemma. As long as I know you still want to be with me and that your confidence remains with me, then we’ll be alright.” He whispered, moving his fingers through her hair while gazing down at her affectionately.

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^{TAG - sayGEMMA?
WORDS - sayA FEW?
NOTES - say WORST POST EVER!!!
TUNES - two birds stoned at once , chiodos.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[gem]

Her birthday only a few short weeks away Gemma could hardly believe that she would be turning only eighteen in the next month. It seemed like the years had gone on for so much longer and Gemma felt like she had more life altering experiences in her short existence then those twice her age. Reflecting back on the last few years Gemma realized, with an absolute certainty, that if she was given the chance, she wouldn’t have gone back to change a thing. Yes, it had been hard at first, struggling alone as an inexperienced mother, and following along on the emotional rollercoaster that had carried Gemma back to Isadora’s father, but without all of those moments, each little battle she had overcome, she would have never ended up where she was right now. She was a mother, to a precious little girl that meant even more then the entire world to her and whom Gemma couldn’t even begin to imagine life without. She had found the one man who had her heart, she was going to marry that man, and at that moment Gemma couldn’t have wished for anything more than that.

Moving her hand back along the line of Blaze`s jaw, until her fingers curled softly against the back of his neck, tangling gently into his hair Gemma took a step in, closing any remain distance that had been between them. They had never spoken of love in the first few years that the two had known each other. Thoughts of marriage, the future, and life never really crossing their minds, the ideas and notions of love never truly concerning them when they had only been looking for a bit of reckless fun, and someone to hold at night. It seemed though, that however foolish and carefree her fourteen year old self had been, she had still managed to stumble onto one of the greatest parts of Gemma’s life today. Looking back, she had probably known it subconsciously but there had never been the right words, or the right way to say exactly what she had been feeling. ”I love you, Blaze Dolohov.”

”I always have, and I always will.” Smiling slightly Gemma stopped for a moment before continuing, playing with the words in her head until they formed into the right things. ”I don’t want anyone else, only you. You, and Iz. You’re the best things that have happened to me, and I don’t want to lose that.” Before, if Gemma had heard this story from anyone else she would have scoffed, and call it cheesy, but she couldn't have been any more sincere then at this moment. The relief that had blossomed inside of her when Gemma had realized that everything was going to be okay had only been growing stronger and stronger with each passing instant. Impossible to contain, Gemma could feel a ridiculous smile pulled on the corners of her lips, a smile the spread up into her eyes, radiating the immense happiness that was flooding through her. Unable to help herself Gemma quickly tilted her face up, brushing her lips across in him a gentle kiss before pulling back and looking back up into his eyes.

SO HEY THERE BLAZE. I THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS POST HAS ABOUT BLEH WORDS. PRETTY NIFTY, EH? NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT THE OUTFIT I MADE. ONE LAST THING THIS SUCKS. HARDCORE.. OH, BTW, KENNATRONIC @ caution 2.0 MADE THIS.