[ living the LIE ] Antonin

[dolohov]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
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To say this week hadn’t been particularly good would be an understatement. These last seven days could have made anyone want to jump off the edge of a cliff and hope to hit something hard. Why? Not only had her daughter fell ill in hospital due to a miscarriage, but her son had practically became somewhat violent and had lost every ounce of respect Anastasia once held for him. There had been a time when she had truly thought her son would do something great, be a great man, but better than Antonin, but they where just the same. She had also realized something too, her marriage had been an complete sham, she was made the fool and worst of all, when she demanded the right to leave, she was denied. If that wasn’t bad, what was?

Sending an owl of to her manager, Ana had asked for the week off to get everything together. She needed to get out. She refused to live the life her mother had. No woman should have to live in a failed marriage, have her son show no respect for her and just live this lie. No she would not do it. Ana had always been strong, she had been the one to push the men away and tell them how it was done, but as of lately it would seem her husband and son have decided to turn the tables.

“Tears wont get you anywhere.” Anastasia whispered to herself while finishing the last of her packing. Yes, she was leaving. Did her husband know? No and she would make sure he wouldn’t, not until she was on a plane out of here. She could only pray to merlin that he wouldn’t arrive home earlier than she had planned, then fireworks would explode, and the last thing she needed was for Blaze to somehow drop by. Her luck wouldn’t be that bad though. All she wanted was to get out of this place.

Grabbing her suitcase, she stood at the bottom of the spiral staircase and fixed her dress and make-up in the mirror. “The car wont be too long.” Continuing to reassure herself, she was at her wits end. If only the car would hurry and she’d be off, only leaving a small goodbye note to her daughters and Caleb, and a small ‘screw you’ to Antonin and Blaze. Oh she could only imagine the looks on their gorgeous features. It would be hard leaving them, but it was for the best, she couldn’t live this lie any longer and before she’d know it, she’d be off to France and continuing her modelling there.

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NOTES urgh I needed to post. WORDS no idea
TAGGED TAGGEES HERE. OUTFIT here baby!
CREDIT BY HEY BAYBAY !? AT CAUTION !

[ruissexy]

This week was horrible. No, this week was disastrous in Antonin's emerald eyes. Nothing had gone right and, for once, Antonin Dolohov blamed himself. He treated his wife like shit when he did not necessarily want to. He loved her dearly. Blaze, on the other hand, had completely disrespected his mother. Antonin could do nothing. It was then, when Antonin had noticed, that Blaze had grown to have a bit of a higher authority than Antonin. When Blaze spoke, Antonin was completely speechless. He could not defend his own love and that was weak of him. No, it was retarded. No, it was sad. Yes, sad was the right word to use.

He was feeling terribly depressed that week. He knew Ana was going to leave him due to his foolish actions. He should of just spoke to Blaze; told him that what he was doing was surely wrong. Antonin wouldn't even commit to such actions toward his daughter and wife. Sure, he didn't really fancy what they were doing but he wouldn't by far kick them out. He married the woman of his dreams and he created his daughter. She was his daughter and Ana was his love. He couldn't see the two just walk out. He could not bare watching the family fall and break down into a million tiny pieces like shattering glass.

And so he hoped Anastasia was still home so he could actually face her and talk to her. If he could not face his own wife, then he wasn't a real man anymore. He put her through hell and he regretted it. He loved her and that was the main reason he was always so overprotective of not only her, but the rest of the family. Antonin was a cold, tough man who thought of morals and prosper, but he also had a few weaknesses to him, one being his wife and another perhaps being the Dark Lord. Everyone feared the Dark Lord. But being a Death Eater excited Antonin to a great extent. He had become one to set things right. The wizarding world was made for only the Pure in his opinion.

He entered the house, hoping to see only his wife there. He had just come back from a Death Eater meeting and was feeling awfully tired. However, he had been thinking about his wife the whole day. He was thinking about the sort of words he would use when he would finally confront her. And to Antonin's luck, there stood his wife at the bottom of the spiral staircase. He moved over to her with no hesitation whatsoever. Whilst walking toward her, he pulled off his coat and threw it on the ground. He stopped in front of her. "Anastasia," he began. "Where do I start? I'll do the talking and you do the listening," he paused, but then continued. "Leaving me will force a hole through me. Something would surely be missing from my life. I'm sorry for what Blaze put you though - well what Blaze and I put you through. I am so desperately sorry. I am disgusted with myself. I was nothing but an arse to you the other day," he paused, feeling so weak. So shattered. He held her hand up to his chest. "Blaze took over, y'know? Do you know the feeling when you grow speechless, because basically, you having nothing to say when one speaks? That was how I felt," he paused again, his hand still holding hers. "We told each other secrets. We trusted each other so much and I lost that trust now and that is why I am disgusted with myself." he finally concluded.

[dolohov]

There was nothing worse than hearing the vile words escape your son’s lips, the way the words left Blaze’s. There had been a time when every word was respectful, every action was civil. What had happened to those times? No, what had happened to her son? There had been change visible with him, no just appearance but personality. How could so much change happen in so little time, how could so much respect fall down the drain so quickly after so long of building it. Things like this made Ana want to leave, she deserved the chance to choose.

Ana loved her life, she loved her husband. They had loved each other. However, there had been times when their love was tested, she had foolishly betrayed his trust and turned to Jack Lestrange for the love that she had lacked, it had seemed he could warm her heart again, when actually, she realized only her husband could do that. Had he betrayed her trust? Blaze had told her he had, but Ana could only blame herself, perhaps she just hadn’t showed him enough love, maybe that was the reason why he turned to another for comfort and love, but no one would love him as much as Anastasia did.

She was the mother of his children, she wanted to please him, and all she wanted in return was his love. Not the abuse he had previously inflicted upon her, not the vile comments he threw at her, and certainly not the disrespect that she didn’t deserve. Would he find another woman like her? Ana found it hard to think so. No other woman would stick around and put up with the bullshit she had, but love was a strange thing. But maybe leaving was for the best. She’d meet a man who deserved her love, have more children who would love her and show only respect, then she could find true happiness.

The door opened and Ana’s heart skipped a beat, her cerulean blue eyes shone in surprise and hidden there, was fear. As he took a step closer, she took one back, afraid of what might happen. Then her husband spoke, and she listened, wanting to hear what he had to say to her. Possibly words that could change her decision. Antonin’s words seemed genuine, and they only made Ana’s guard fall. Here was the man she loved, apologizing, with words she needed to hear. “Antonin, I deserve so much more than this. I deserve to be happy and to be loved. Those feelings have left me. I no longer see the love in your eyes, I no longer feel it. I love you, but I have to question, do you truly love me?” She chewed on her lower lip, “Antonin, Blaze is your son. You should always have the upper hand, but you never take the opportunity. Blaze controls you and that’s not right and slowly, he’s taking control of me and my children. I wont stand by and allow it. I can’t. Isn’t it best I leave, and I take the children with me? I’m positive you’ve got other potential wives roaming around, I know I wasn‘t the only one you fell into bed with at night.” Ana whispered, the pain evident in her voice as she brought her lips to his cheek and placed a small kiss there, before slowly pulling away and staring at him.