Post by PASCAL , on Jul 6, 2010 7:34:28 GMT -5
Never had she wanted to end up like this. She had seen people going this way. On the streets, topping over, clutching to the bottle in their hand, that seemed to be their oxygen to stay alive. They would never let go to their one source of alcohol. The substance. The chemical that numbed the body, and the mind. And all feelings one had for the world. People lost themselves whenever they drank so much of the stuff. But they only had themselves to blame. No-one was shoving it down their throat, trying to make then choke. That was their own doing. People would start at the early hours of eight in the evening, and would have passed out long before the first hour of the morning. Doryen, however, had known how to use drink. She would wait atleast an hour, forcing herself to stay parched. Her dry mouth yearning for some cold liquid to satisfy herself, but she would wait, and then take a long gulp, and she'd drag her lips from the bottle, waiting for the next minutes to drag by. She waited for nothing in particular. There was nothing to wait for, or to look forward to. Doryen would never get totally drunk. Just enough to get rid of some of the memories that were clawing at her, forcing her attention upon them. Doryen drank just enough, but constantly. And her habit had become so frequent, that alcohol had no effect on her whatsoever. It seemed that the toxins of it was now inside her all the time. In her veins, probably replacing her blood. Less human.
Leaving school wasn't so hard. People knew she was fading from it all anyway. Friends were worrying, but knew, well thought that Doryen would be fine. All Doryen really wanted to do, was to get away from magic. She had no interest in it at all, and the way things were going, she just never fitted in at Hogwarts. It wasn't where she belonged. She also wanted to hide to her friends, how bad things really were. But what was really bad? Honestly, nothing. And that was what drove Doryen into this state of depression. She was unhappy, and stresed for no reason at all. Perhaps memories of her past. Losing a friend, witnessing a loved one dying before her eyes, failing to save a fellow when they needed her the most. Those beings, those ghosts of her past haunted her night and day, but Doryen was unable to see it. She was mourning for the people she'd lost, unknowingly. She was frightened. This wasn't like her. She was a stranger to her own self. Like looking in a mirror, and seeing a face that you didn't know of, although some features rung a bell. It confuses you, how much they seem familiar, but you know, it's not that person. This isn't, nor was ever going to be Doryen. She missed her mother the most. Losing her, there was a fierce and painful price to pay. Letting her go. Doryen had been ignoring the fact that she hadn't actually let her mother go. She clung to her, never letting her rest. Doryen would get nightmares, and visions of seeing her mother's corpse. White skinned, and smeared with blood. Her eyeliss pupils stared into nothingness, lying helples on the ground. Dead.
Dead was how Doryen felt. She'd kept the visions of her mother a deep secret. But every day, it would cut at her, demanding attention yet again. She was becoming weaker, but tried to get stronger, failing. She sat at the bar of the Leaky Cauldron. Tom, the barman, had tried to coax Doryen out of this stage of recklessness, but she would only scream at him, and threaten him, which would result in most of the pub emptying. Doryen stayed here now, in one of the rooms here at the Leaky Cauldron. She hardly ventured outside. She could never find her feet to stand up. Doryen would be watched from worrying, scared faces. She would rest her head across the bar, sobbing onto the hard wooden table that stank of aging beer and tobacco. Although now, no tears escaped her gaze, but her eyes sparkled with moisture. She stared into the mirror opposite her, watching the reflection glaring into her eyes as she placed a cigarette between her lips with shaking fingers. Doryen's whole soul, herself, her life. It was destroyed. And she wanted no-one to suffer it with her.
- -tagged - [anyone and everyone]
notes - [bah!]- - -word count - [751]
lyrics - no surprises by radiohead- - -
- - - -credit - KBIRD of caution 2.0
