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Post by jessamyn on Dec 19, 2009 23:40:33 GMT -5
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/size] There once lived a Fairy-Tale PrincessAnd this is her story[/color] ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/center]
The numb biting chill of the air was like daggers inching along her bare skin. It reminded her the way her heart was starting to feel. Deep down, she understood that it was not healthy. But the majority of her mind pushed that away and clambered for her to continue on her self-prescribed path of revenge and healing. It was a dangerous game she played with herself and some how she didn't believe that she would ever come out unharmed. Jessamyn watched the flickering emotions of the boy she had had so much hope for, hope that she couldn't allow herself anymore. He didn't understand what was happening. And she almost pitied him for it. But, he didn't deserve her pity. He had the life she wanted. Already she was the one risking irk because she was out alone with him. Jessamyn had written home about Xander before, and had received a curt reply. The young man had not asked her Grandpapa's permission. They were an old fashion pureblood family, Scottish but constantly interwoven with French. Grandpapa had once told Jessamyn proudly that they were related the de Guise family. She's hadn't cared. Still, they were a prideful family, and she had to live by the rules. Maybe Xander didn't realize that. Or that her Grandparents believed it had been shameful for him to take her for the country, invite her to stay overnight, not have even asked their permission. Of course, Jessamyn had argued in his favor, that it had been all her fault. No use, they were dead set against Xander until he approached them. She wasn't even sure what they would say then. At least, he was a pureblood.
His voice jerked her from her thoughts and she nodded. Of course she was right, wasn't she always? But once again he foolishly held out his hand. She glanced at it and back to his face. Surely he understood why she couldn't take it. It would be highly improper. She couldn't afford another slip up where Xander Ray was involved. Hope was threaded through his voice as he informed her of needing to ask her something. Curiousity killed the cat, but Jessamyn wasn't the cat. Thankfully. He had triggered the justly sorted Ravenclaw's interest. Her entire body swiveled towards her older housemate. And her tone reeked of interest, betraying her desire to remain aloof.
"Yes, ask away."
She was puzzled. Ignoring the hand was easy. But ignoring the thoughts triggered by such a query was like finding a needle in a hay stack. Nay impossible. Part of her mind panicked, citing the continuous reaching out, that he would ask something she wasn't allowed to even hear. But another pushed it aside, reasoning that Xander was pureblood and would follow the traditions. Also, Grandmama would have written her about anything related to him. Jessamyn was certain of it. One of the only things she felt confident about, her Grandmama's letters and their information.
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And they all lived Happily Ever After
So, ends her tale.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/font] Words: 514Target: XanderOutfit: hereLyrics: Decode, ParamoreNote: I moved it for us.
Credits: Made by me, J Storm.[/center] |
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Post by xanderray on Jan 15, 2010 1:58:05 GMT -5
Something in him told him that there was something wrong with how he was presenting himself. He had not heard from this girl in a long time and he had wondered what he was doing wrong. He sighed and smiled at her as she said he could ask away. "Well... I guess what I'm going to say is going to need some story for it to make sense as well. Oh... Here." he waved his wand and a blanket appeared in his out-stretched hand. "I can see you're shivering. And I don't want you to get sick..."
With that, he unfolded it and wrapped it around her all ready covered shoulders just to provide more warmth for her. It was still very cold outside and he did not want her to catch the flu or anything. He smiled at her lightly and then began. "I guess..." he sighed, "All right. I'll start from the beginning. It was back when we first met and sat in the Common room and talked and cried with each other for those seemingly endless hours. You told me things that I didn't think you would have told anyone you weren't comfortable around, and I respected that. And I have not told a soul since then.
"I invited you to my Uncle Tubby's house in Hawaii and all I could think about when I stayed there over the weekends was how much I missed you and how different it was there when you weren't at the luau's. I began to think things over and there hasn't been a girl in my life with that much impact before and I desperately tried to find you. But... we don't have the same classes, and it seemed I always got in to the Common Room after you or way before you..." He looked at her in the eyes. "It hurt to not see your pretty face... It hurt... to believe that I had lost a great friend.
"But now I realize what hurt the most. I was so close to asking you what I am about to now, but I had to watch you walk away. I worried about you, tried to get you out of my mind since I thought you never wanted to see me again... But I couldn't." he took her hand. "You were in my dreams even. I know this all must sound so cliche... but I really really do believe that you are the only girl for me. The only one that has made me respect you more than just because you're a woman, but because I like you much more than a friend.
"I want to ask you to become my first girl-friend. And if your Grandmother needs a reason to let this happen, she can talk to my Uncle whom is a rich pure-blood man of royal decent. But that aside... Will you be my girl-friend?"
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Post by jessamyn on Jan 16, 2010 19:24:05 GMT -5
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/size] There once lived a Fairy-Tale PrincessAnd this is her story[/color] ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/center]
His smile melted a bit of the ice that held her heart prisoner and she wanted to bolt. No one should have that kind of power over her. Not now when her father and sister hadn't even been in the ground for six months. Not now when she had to deal with her mother's lack of responsibility. And the little signs that he cared about her were nearly as bad. She had had to bit her tongue to hold back from snapping at him. Jessamyn had not come out here to hear a story, it was too damn cold. But then the boy had magicked her a blanket and even wrapped it around her. A blanket and his jacket on her shoulders, and Xander stood in his shirt sleeves. How he could stand the terrible cold, the dusting of snow that seemed to be fluttering down, was a mystery that Jessamyn did not even feel the need to examine. Instead she listened to the web he was spinning.
His words and accent, startlingly beautiful after the crisp tones permeating the voices of nearly everyone else, wove a trap for her. Still she could not break away. She lingered in it and listened. He spoke of her tears and his trust, her fears and his foolishness. He spoke of dreams and stardust, things that were not a part of her life nor the language she knew. She was tempted to laugh in his face. Once Jessamyn had been the kind of girl that liked all his pretty, flowery words. That was before; before she became the cold bitch she was. That she needed to be. His was the she wanted, needed. And her heart ached to return what he obviously felt. If only she could allow it. But she couldn't. And she wouldn't love him, not when she envied him. Jessamyn couldn't be Xander's forever. She thought he would see it, not be blinded. Even so, it caught her off guard when he asked that question. The one she had been dreading to hear. And she gasped, losing a grip on her cold, smooth mask. Her face betrayed her shock, excitement, resignment and anger.
"Oh." It was a soft word. The only one that she could deem worth voicing. She gently brushed off his blanket and jacket, handing them back. Stalling, to give herself time to process his words and not seem unkind. A quick swish of her wand produced her favorite warming charm and she watched the snow melt at her feet. Slowly, she brought her eyes to meet his. "It isn't just Grandmére. And with that one phrase, you should have approached them. Nonetheless, you barely know me. Should you not be courting me first?"
It was a casual tone, no reproach and perhaps more warmth then usual. But inside, she was cold and reproachful. Was this a joke? She had barely seen this young man before her in the past few months. In fact, she didn't really know him that well. Jessamyn could no long afford the luxury of being young and spontaneous. She was only a few months from being of age and by then she was supposed to be engaged. Like a good pureblood girl, her Grandmére had said. And she wasn't to be the one to make the marriage. She knew that. Dating was behind her, unless Xander approached her family. She wanted to gag and fight, feeling caged. But there was no point, she was no longer American or really anything that she used to be. A cold shadow of herself and this was how she was supposed to be, right? She hadn't answered Xander, even she didn't know how to respond to it. Be herself, take what she wanted and grow to hate him or be what she was trained to be, politely refuse him and hate herself. Neither seemed to be a lovely choice.
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And they all lived Happily Ever After
So, ends her tale.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/font] Words: 670Target: XanderOutfit: hereLyrics: Anywhere But Here, Mayday ParadeNote: Gahd, my computer didn't seem to want to let me respond.
Credits: Made by me, J Storm.[/center] |
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Post by xanderray on Jan 16, 2010 20:32:11 GMT -5
Courting. Courting...how had he not thought of that? But wait... was that a no? He sighed lightly and tried to smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "I suppose..."
His heart sank. He had thought that the dance that got so intimate at the luau meant something. That her telling him things and crying to him was more than just something shared between mere friends. But then again, maybe he was reading everything all wrong. Maybe she didn't want anything more than someone to talk to. He sighed again and was not sure what to say. "Well..." he paused. He wasn't thinking marriage and he was sure that's what she was talking about just courting her and gaining favor to marry her. As amazing as that sounded, he wouldn't be able to marry just yet. He looked at her and shook his head lightly.
"I'm afraid I don't know what to say. But all I can say is that I thought there was something more to us. I guess I was wrong. And as far as things go, I know you have changed, but I haven't. And I'm sure that there is still a part of the Mana I know deep down. I'm not sure what you're trying to cover, but I'm sorry if I'm not good enough. I'm also sorry that I've wasted your time..." his eyes were swelling with tears. He wasn't going to cry. "I can walk you to your dorm if you would like."
He was hurt. And it was clear.
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Post by jessamyn on Jan 26, 2010 22:58:42 GMT -5
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/size] The colors failEverything does in time.[/color] ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/center]
She wanted to storm and scream at him. Jessamyn could not believe he was just giving up that fast, that easy. She could tell he was hurt. She knew she had caused it and even felt a bit bad over. But, really? If he was just going to give up on her like that. Not even try to get her to open up again. Well, he wasn't the friend and person she had thought. He wasn't going to worth her time. And like he had said, he was wasting it. She glared at him. Pathetic. It lingered through her mind and she had no idea whether it was directed towards her or him.
She had wanted him to try. Would it have been so hard? She wasn't seventeen yet. There was time. But, no he had just bowed his head and excepted it. He didn't pull her into his arms, he didn't rub warmth into her frozen limbs. And Merlin forbid, he actually try and kiss her. No, he was just going to sit there and be a proper gentlemen. Jessamyn wasn't having it. She huffed at him and stomped her foot. There was no ice here; she embraced the fire.
"No." She walked up to him, standing mere inches away. Her voice was harsh, she smoothed it out. "No. I do not want you to walk me back to a deary wet tower and bid me goodnight. I do not want you to linger around at your little personal pity party. I do not want you to act all surprised. I want you to look at me."
She brought her nimble fingers up under his chin, forcing his head around to look at her. Roughly, she traced his jawbone up and over his cheeks, to his hair. She shook her head at his tear-filled eyes. Guilty now for being cold and reserved. Xander did not deserve this. No more than she had deserved what happened. She allowed a smile for him. Then she hesitantly wrapped her fingers tighter in the hair that curled over the back of his neck. She hadn't been this close to anyone in months. It made her nervous, gave her butterflies. And she fought not to push away.
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The dreams fade
Everything does in time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/font] Words: 381Target: XanderOutfit: hereLyrics: Buddha for Mary, 30 Seconds to MarsNote:
Credits: Made by me, J Storm.[/center] |
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Post by xanderray on Feb 5, 2010 2:05:52 GMT -5
Sure, it may had been that he had backed out on something great, but she was pushing him. It wasn't fair to him that she was like this to him. He had been more than generous to her and now all he got was cold remarks. Maybe she was mad at him, and a stomp on the ground confirmed that. She told him that she did not want him to take her back to her dreary tower nor sulk in his pity party. He blinked at her as what happened next seemed almost impossible.
He felt her near him, almost touching his body with hers and his heart leapt into his throat as her hands reached for his face and traced his jaw to the back of his neck where she grabbed tighter and tighter. Each adjustment was a tug at his heart. Oh, don't let her back away, make her stay, please God please... he thought silently. He gave her a soft, loving gaze and reached out to place one hand on her hip and the other at the nook of her neck. He looked at her for a moment and wondered just what was going to happen if he kissed her... His lips and soul were screaming for it and he pulled her closer to him, slowly and gently. He caressed his cheek lightly with his warm thumb and looked down at her. She wasn't that much shorter, but it made him feel protective of her. He smiled lightly and couldn't help himself. He leaned in, pressed his lips to hers, and slowly closed his eyes.
His first kiss.
(ooc: Jstorm! i'm sorry it's been sooooo long! i love you still and this is amazing!)
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Post by jessamyn on Feb 7, 2010 23:07:56 GMT -5
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/size] The colors failEverything does in time.[/color] ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/center]
She stood her ground, fighting off her urge to bolt. She was nervous, if not down right scared. There was trouble to be found. If not in rejection by Xander then from Grandmére herself. Distantly Jessamyn wondered if the older women would be so enraged that she would come to Hogwarts. Or would she just send one of those terrible Howlers. Not that she feared the embarrassment of one. Grandmére would never do that to her and in extension the family. But to tell the truth, she was more afraid that Xander would just push her way. Tell her that she lost her chance and would have to just go. And over it all was the chance that she would hurt them both. What if it was too much and she just cut it off? Perhaps it would be better to step back and not risk it.
She hesitated, uncertain and nearly moved away. But at that moment, Xander pulled her closer. His thumb brushed her cheek and she shivered. Her heart was pounding, and she blushed slightly, think he could hear or feel it. Then her thoughts halted as his lips met hers. Her eyes slipped shut and she felt tingles where their bodies and lips met. From the hand on her hip to the hand on the back for neck to the very flesh of their lips, she felt a spike of energy. It thrilled her and she lend more into his body and kiss. Her hands tightening and loosing on his curls. She felt his timid attempt and she met it with anticipation.
Jessamyn enjoyed their first kiss. A kiss that she hoped wouldn't be their last, but still it wouldn't do to be too immodest. So she broke away, slightly. A smile graced her lips and her knees felt weak. She was thankful for the hands he had on her. A bubble of joy filled her and grew. It had been many months since she had felt anything like this. A lightness and freeness caused her to even admit the snow wasn't quite as ugly as she had originally thought.
"So," She looked up and met his eyes. "You have some sort of backbone apparently." Words that might have been harsh before were gentle and teasing.
And upon reflection, she had to admit that Xander was good for her. He allowed her to relax and enjoy herself. He was an American as well and understood her better than her peers in this cold school. Around him, she could, however briefly, forget her current drive. Though, Jessamyn had to question how he would feel about her desire to find this 'Dark Prince' character. Whether he would left her if he found out she really was cold when it came to other people. Surely though he had to know that he was the only one that could melt her. Fill her with fire and passion, when she was otherwise reserved and polite even with her dismissals. Xander came her hope that she wasn't a completely different person. That she could still be Mana.
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The dreams fade
Everything does in time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/font] Words: 520Target: XanderOutfit: hereLyrics: I don't believe you, P!nkNote: hehe, =] And freeness is a word, I googled it. ha.
Credits: Made by me, J Storm.[/center] |
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Post by xanderray on Feb 7, 2010 23:46:52 GMT -5
The world seemed to slip away from their feet and it was just him and Mana. Just him and his girl. He never wanted this kiss to end. His first, and hopefully not their last. He shivered lightly from the tingles that were going trough his body and he could not believe how amazing his first kiss was. It could not have been any better. He smiled into the kiss and was going to press in for more when she pulled away and a beautiful smile carved onto her perfect lips. He smiled back and rested his forehead against hers as she teased him about a back bone. He kissed her nose and nodded.
"It took a lot more to kiss you than I thought... But I'm more than happy I gave the effort to kiss you... But... What does this make us, Mana?" he asked her. He kept his hands where they were and looked at her in those beautiful dark eyes. He wanted to have her as his own. He would protect her, help her, and do everything in his power to make her the happiest girl on the planet. He would do just about anything for her, and he hoped that she knew that. He waited to hear from her, almost to anxiously: He wanted to kiss those lips again, hold her closer this time, put more passion into it. He wanted to whisk her off her feet and take her back to Hawai'i and away from the snow. Oh how lovely it would be to show off his first girlfriend to the family and to his friends. She was beautiful and he could not see himself with anyone more perfect.
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Post by jessamyn on Feb 19, 2010 15:36:56 GMT -5
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/size] The colors failEverything does in time.[/color] ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/center]
She could feel that it had changed between the two of them. And to be honest, she didn't know how she felt about that. It would be wonderful to keep this right how it was. To walk this fine line and not topple over. With a sigh, she realized that she would never be able to walk to thin balance it would require. She was at a crossroads and had to make a choice. And sadly enough, it would have to be one that passion did not rule. Jessamyn wanted to be free and tell her family to go to hell. But the family had to come first. And to be honest, did she deserve to be happy?
Shaking his hands off of her, she stepped back. Her eyes iced back over and she lost the bit of her recovered self. Lost it was the term that in and all described her. Without the faintest idea of what she wanted now, she was allowing herself to be led about like a pony on a lead. Death Eater. The end of Muggle Freedom. Blood Purity. Revenge. The ideas echoed through the hallowed nerves of her brain. But beyond that, she knew nothing. Where could she fit in within this new world she longed for? What could she offer? She shook her head. Jessamyn would not be a docile, pureblood wife, content to rule from the circles of society. And that was what Grandmére was grooming her for. The icy rage boiled over; she would shape her own life.
Meeting Xander's eyes, her rage intensified. Here was another person that just wanted to mold her into his own puppet. Cocking her chin defiantly, she sneered at him. Part of her mind wondered if she was bipolar, but it was quickly shrugged off. "I don't know, Xander. What do you want?" The biting, mocking tone was back. And as hard as it was for her to use it on him, it was for the best. He would not be just another holster on her goals.
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The dreams fade
Everything does in time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ [/font] Words: 346Target: XanderOutfit: hereLyrics: Forsaken, Within Temptation.Note: yup, I'm getting ready to leave for at least two months, so I didn't know if you wanted him to be stuck like that.
Credits: Made by me, J Storm.[/size][/color][/center] |
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