A chance to see the real me -OPEN-

[petra12345]

Petra push back the green silk comforter on the bed and dangled her legs over the side. Bright sun peeked through the lace curtains and promised a beautiful day for school. She didn't feel happy though she was tired and exhausted from studying she had been doing.

She dressed in uniform and hurried to the Great Hall for some breakfast and studying. Petra held both qualities of Ravenclaw and Slytherin. She was smart, analytical, and she plan everything out. Everything need to have a detail plan. She had to research everything in order to make a good plan and see that it is successful. She would make a great Ravenclaw but other qualities that stuck out even more was those of Slytherin.

She love manipulating people into doing what she wanted and not getting her hands dirty. She enjoy flirting with every guy in school and sleeping with them if they spark her interest long enough. She especially enjoy flirting with boys who had girlfriends. The look of their faces when they see her all over they boyfriends was priceless. How easy was it to not care about other people and use them. She didn't even second think anything and she didn't feel guilty about anything. She didn't even look back when she ruin her so called friends lives from first year. They should have know better to stab her in her back. They were lucky she didn't hex or used an unforgivable on them. The thought did cross her mind to use one but she would have been in big trouble with her father and she like being daddy's little girl. She was a pureblood and she was better then others who weren't. She didn't talk to muggles, mud-bloods, or half-bloods who weren't in her house. Even if a mud-blood was in her house she still wasn't nice to them but it didn't mean she would completely betray them. They were Slytherins and they deserve her loyalty to a point.

Petra walk into the Great Hall to find it was mostly empty but with a few students. She sat next to a girl in house though she didn't even know her name. She place her books on the table and gave her a quiet hello follow by one of her force smiles. It wasn't like she hated people. She just didn't trust anyone enough to let them know who she really was. She had few friends that she actually trusted, Lisa Green being one them. She had people she was nice too but those were the people who she needed for some reason. They normally wouldn't stay long as friends and once they fulfill they purpose they were dispose of. She would never talk to them again and most likely she wouldn't even give them a second thought.

As for people she loved. She only love her family and one boy from her past. Her parents had put it on themselves to find her a husband. She was going to be in an arrange marriage to a some guy she didn't even know and even if she did it didn't mean she would be okay with it. Any girl would be against it. She wouldn't admit it to anyone but she wanted to marry for love not to keep the blood line and money in the family. It sound more like she was a precious pure breed dog that the master wanted to keep the blood line pure.

Petra didn't even know what she wanted to do after she graduated. She knew she wanted to work in the Ministry. She didn't know what though but if she did married someone she'll probably have to stay home and be the proper wife. She didn't want to stay at home and raise kids. She wanted more then that.

The school day past by slowly but it ended. Thank goodness. Petra thought as the went toward the forbidden forest. She needed an escape from Hogwarts and its people. She was in no mood to entertain anyone. She just wanted peace and quiet.

The forest was where she found solitude. Where she could let go and be herself. She got out her wand out and found a small lizard “Crucio.” That curse was one of the darkest magic in the wizarding world. It didn't matter to her. Her grandfather was a Death Eater but no one figure out that her family had ties with Voldemort. Her grandfather kill anyone who knew that they did supported Voldemort. Her family loyalty now lies with Kelsey's father. She really dislike that girl. Who cared that her father was evil and decide to change the laws. She should be happy that they were on top of the social ladder and they could do what ever they wanted. She was just being a spoil, pathetic brat. She was even sleeping with any and all males in the school just to get back at her father. It was sort of disgusting and petty.

Petra wasn't the most moral girl in school. She was label a slut, in fact, but she had some standards. She didn't sleep with just about any guy. If she needed them for something she will sleep with them. If they were pureblood and sexy she would also sleep with them. She never slept with a hufflepuffs and gryffindors. Okay she did have sex with two gryffindors but that was because they were sexy. And the sex was amazing.

Petra found another helpless lizard and did the curico curse on it. How else could she burn off some steam. She didn't even notice when someone was there watching her.

[maddi]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] For the most part, things didn't go well for Savvy. Not that she'd done something in her mere sixteen years of life to deserve her unfortunate luck, it was just the way her whole life had gone. Her mother didn't want her, her father was a mystery man, she didn't even have a photograph to go on. All of those years, living in that perfect house on Dreary Drive (believe it or not, that's what the street was actually called- very suiting,) she'd wished that her father would swoop in and save her from the life she led. It was always very clear Sav had a different father, aside from being told it almost every day of her life, she looked nothing like her blonde, chiseled siblings, every bit German. No, instead, Savvy was stuck with her brown hair and blue eyes and her knobby knees and her inability to do silent spells. At times, when she was young, she'd ask her mother for help with things like tying shoes and braiding hair, but Charlotte was always too busy for Savvy. Being sorted into Hufflepuff wasn't a shock, for anyone. If anything, it was a conformation of a life long series of unfortunate events. Practically getting kicked out of her parents house came as more of a relief, an excuse not to stay in that god forsaken place. Hogwarts was the one place Sav could turn to when things got hard. Though she failed to be exceptional at, well, anything really, she loved her school. She loved her friends and her classes and even the teachers that told her she'd never go far. Even with the new laws and she knew the chances of getting a good job were slim, but they always were. Still, she tried. She tried hard no matter what because the slim chances of her getting a good job were odds she was willing to take. Luck never played out in her favor, but trying like hell couldn't hurt, could it? After one of her long stints in the library she decided to go for a walk. Her stiff muscles groaned in appreciation after she stood and stretched, making her way from the tiny study room. It wasn't yet dark, but some of the later afternoon classes had just come out, so it wasn't a surprise when, on her way out of the fourth floor corridor, a group of fourth year Slytherin's threw paper balls at her. It happened a lot. It'd been happening with increasing frequency since wizarding laws had changed, putting up walls between houses and making the tension even worse. Lions and Snakes had never gotten along, and now they had reason not to. In all of this, the Hufflepuffs were put last, left to scrape at the bottom of the barrel for leftovers. As usual. This was her humble opinion, but it was the darkest side of her that thought this, so she kept it to herself. Not even Ada, her best friend in the world had heard of her bitterness. The dingy corridors gave away to the brightness of a beautiful Autumn day. In fact, it was too bright, and she had to squint. After adjusting to the light she decided all of her favorite places were too crowded. Usually she liked to socialize, but today she was too deep in her own thoughts to be bothered with constant question asking. So, she took a detour. Hugging the shady sides of the castles walls she found herself walking straight into the Forbidden Forest. Even Bitter Savvy hated the thought of rule breaking, especially one so obvious. Seriously, it was in the title. The FORBIDDEN forest. Instead, she walked 'round the leafy foliage, keeping a safe distance. After a few moments of absolute silence, she heard a voice. A wicked voice. Well, perhaps not. It was the voice of one who was beautiful, but also the voice of one who was wicked. Soft and sure, the voice spoke a wicked word indeed. 'Crucio! A scream- that's what she waited for. In hindsight, she thought, the girl muttering curses could've easily silenced her victim. Yet, a scream didn't come. Curiosity overtook her and she took one step. And then another, and another, and another until she wasn't four feet from a beautiful girl about her age. It was a lizard. Apparently, stupors were going around because the girl didn't hear Sav's steps, and the fall leaves were not kind. The girl had moved on to a second victim, another lizard. All of her instincts told her to run before the pretty girls wand was pointed at Sav instead of the lizard. But she was glued to her place. After a moment the lizard began to make a horrible noise, and Sav couldn't handle it any longer. "I-I-You-Uh-uh STOP. PLEASE." And then she froze, hoping to hell the wicked pretty girls face wouldn't be the last Savvy would ever see.	[atrb=width,140] words , 837 words tagged , Petra! notes , woo! i had to jump on this thread. I'm a bit over dramatic. XD
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[petra12345]

It wasn't strange that Petra didn't feel anything for that lizard. She watch it has it move in agony. It wasn't like she was psycho. She just felt didn't feel anything for something that was worthless.

"I-I-You-Uh-uh STOP. PLEASE."

Petra turn to see a girl she seen around school but never took the time to actually get her name. “Stop. Please.” She asked her. She was actually amused that this girl was even talking to her and let alone telling her what to do. She look back the lizard. “crucio.” She said again and the lizard withered in agony yet again. She didn't even change lizards this time and it died. She was actually being merciful with her changing lizard but this girl change her mind.

Petra turn back at the girl. She notice that the girl was nervous around her and little bit frighten of her. That only made her more amused. She wasn't going to do anything to this girl. Hurting emotional or physically would be a waste of her time. “If you want me to stop doing something at least ask me while not babbling on like a idiot.” She said as she twisted her wand in her hands.

Petra step on the fallen leaves of autumn. She like autumn a lot, the air was crisp and cold. She look at forest around her everything was dieing because of the coming winter. “Have you ever used a unforgivable on anything before?” She doubt if the girl ever used a curse or hex on anyone. “Use the Avada Kedavra, crucio, or imperio curse on anything?” She walk around the girl. Watching her and sizing her up.

She knew she was a hufflepuf. She was passive and kind. That made Petra sick. In fact anyone who was nice made her sick, made her want vomit. Nice people just let her let her and others like her walk over them. I bet if she ask for help even though she was had mean to her. She will help her. And she was pretty sure that this girl was a pureblood. A pureblood being nice to mud-bloods and half-bloods. That disgust her even more then her niceness. The girl was weak, she had no strength to defend herself or others. She really was worthless. “Don't tell me you think I will use crucio curse on you?” Her eyebrow raised in question. “Trust me huffie, hurting you will be a waste of my time.” She pick some lint off her sweater. “I hate wasting time.”

She sat down on the rock. She was bored and this girl might be amusing enough to past some time away. “So I've seen you in some of my classes. What's your name?” Though she wasn't really interested. After this conversation she'll probably will forget her name after they part ways.

Petra had seen this girl around and she even had some many classes with her this year and years past. She even sat in next to her few in few classes over the years. The girl just never left a strong impression on her to remember her name. She wasn't smart but she wasn't dumb either. She was average and usually average doesn't really leave a good first impression on her.


Notes; yay you took my thread. :3 <3 <3

[maddi]

Intentionally cruelty was never something Savvy could understand. Part of this was because of her house, but for the most part, she just didn't get it. 'Do unto others, what you wish to be done upon you' was how she liked to live her life, though it was really just a fancy way of saying 'treat others how you wish to be treated.' Harming some one who had done you wrong was one thing, but a harmless creature? What was the point in it? Well, apparently there was some joy to be had in torturing innocent reptiles, but Sav had no interest in finding out.

The wicked girl only smiled at Savvy's stammering plea, to please, please , [i[please[/p]] release the writhing lizard and left it scamper off to lick it's wounds, or just to die off. Either way, it'd be in solitude and Sav wouldn't have the guilty conscience. Not that there was much she could do. Judging by the amused smirk on Wicked Girl's face, Savvy would probably come out of this unscathed, but so much could not be said if she attempted to be heroine to the little thing. After a few seconds of last squeaking, flailing, futile attempts to fight off the curse, the lizards body became limp, and it was obvious, it was dead.

“Have you ever used a unforgivable on anything before? Use the Avada Kedavra, crucio, or imperio curse on anything?" Sav violently shook her head, no. That was beyond her reach of basic magic. Besides, the intentional cruelty thing. The Wicked Girl circled Savvy, sizing her up and making a judgment. Obviously, Sav came off weak- and truthfully, she was. There was no point in pretending to be something she wasn't. She made no attempt to stand up straighter. It wouldn't make a difference. Fear crept into the back of her mind once again, and even though she didn't think the girl would harm Sav, it did little to console her.

“Don't tell me you think I will use crucio curse on you? Trust me huffie, hurting you will be a waste of my time.I hate wasting time." Savvy waited for relief, for her nervous system to register what was said so she could stop looking like a dear caught in the headlights, but relief did not come. With small clearing of her throat to make sure she didn't stutter, Sav plucked up all the courage in her body and spoke calmly, "I'd be lying if i said the thought hadn't crossed my mind." Relief, finally, came in a small wave from her own bravery. Still, she couldn't take the chance and sound too mouthy. "I suppose it's my lucky day, though." This was as much s she could offer without her voice wavering, and she hoped it further convinced Wicked Girl to not harm Savvy.

Being considered worthless was nothing new, and at this point it did not harm Savvy emotionally to be called so. In fact, her spinelessness may have just saved her life! When the blonde sat down on a rock and cast her cunning blue eyes upon Savvy, the final wave of relief hit Sav, and she let out a tiny sigh. Silently, she began to wonder what could cause a person to behave in such a manner. What could have happened to this girl to make her feel no pain for other living things? What could her past hold? Being in Slytherin generally meant that the students came from better off, pure blooded families. Though this was not always the case, Sav could tell by the girls stance alone it was true.

"So I've seen you in some of my classes. What's your name?" Though she didn't really seem interested in knowing, the girl asked. It wouldn't make a bit of difference, really, because they both knew Sav's name would be forgotten right away. "My name is Savvy, Savvy Ridan." Her cheeks flushed a bit ,and for the millionth time she wondered why her mother couldn't have opted for something more normal. "What's yours? I know we do have a few classes together. Same year, right?

[petra12345]

Petra pick some lint that was on her school skirt. She glance up at Savvy. “My name is Petra Connor. And it seems like we are in the same year.” She gracefully cross her legs. Petra could always read people and even though she dislike the girl. It bother her that this girl had no self-esteem. “It seems that you, my dear, are too meek for your own good.” She examine her perfect manicure nails. “I can barely hear you speak and when you do. You don't even look in the person eye.” She look at the girl. “That is considered rude.”

“But you can't change that can you? Being bullied by everyone else is what you want. You're okay with that and it seem that you don't want to change that.” She said in a matter of fact tune. She didn't care she was being too honest. “You seem fine for me to mock, laugh at you, and make you feel so little about yourself.” She raise her eyebrow in question.

The only reason why I like you was because you're rich.” A eleven year old Petra stood with tears falling down her check as her best friends, well who she thought was her best friend at the time, tell her. She listen to disbelief at the girls words. “You're bossy and ugly. I don't even why I became your friend.”

Petra snap back to reality. She hated those memories cause that girl had hurt her the most. She hated girls who won't do nothing to defend they honor and respect because she couldn't defend her self then . She got strong over that summer. She learn how to be strong. To believe in herself and never let anyone belittle her. This Savvy girl was okay having her bully her and belittle her. She would usually be okay with it but it was sort sad how the girl view herself. “You're okay with being called nothing?” She ask. “You must be more stupid then you look.”

She was bullied once and stab in the back by her so called friends. She wasn't one who let those girls from the past or anyone else make her fell less then what she was. She was a pureblood and a slytherin. She stood up. “Savvy, are you really okay with letting people push you around?” Petra wasn't offering this girl friendship and this was out of character for her. She did, however, had a heart. She bullied this girl and she did nothing to defend herself against her. She never knew someone who had no self-confidence. It made her a little sad by the fact. “because you shouldn't let no one tell you. You're worthless.”

~~~~~~

Notes: sorry it took so long. I had so much going on these past few days

[maddi]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] “My name is Petra Connor. And it seems like we are in the same year. It seems that you, my dear, are too meek for your own good. I can barely hear you speak and when you do. You don't even look in the person eye.” This struck a chord with Savvy. Vaguely, she could recall her mother prodding at her back when she slouched even the slightest, telling her to stand up tall and proud. This, of course, was in the early days of Sav's life when her mother could stand to look at her- much less speak in complete sentences. So she did just that. Sav stood up a little taller and spoke with more clarity, boring her hauntingly blue eyes into Petra's. "We are in the same year. Forgive me, Petra, being rude was never my intention." She paused. Impulse was not something Savvy often gave into. She was careful. But now, she felt less like the Hufflepuff Savvy, and more like the six year old being prodded at by her mother, feeling a burning anger caused by lifelong insufficiency. “But you can't change that can you? Being bullied by everyone else is what you want. You're okay with that and it seem that you don't want to change that.You seem fine for me to mock, laugh at you, and make you feel so little about yourself.” These words were brutal, and true. Sav tolerated being kicked around like she was worthless because she had never felt any differently. Still, it was a bit much for a stranger to say and it angered the Hufflepuff. This was surprising in it's own rite, as it took quite a bit to set her off. She gritted her teeth and let the anger flow throuh her. It was nice to feel ANYTHING but submission. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to speak in such a manner to a stranger? Who's being rude, now, dear? Petra seemed to loose herself for a moment, but when she came back she was as relentless as before. "“You're okay with being called nothing You must be more stupid then you look."That was a low blow, and it dug deeper into the wound which Petra has already opened. As angry as it made her, she was at a loss for words. 'how can i feel otherwise?' she thought. "Savvy, are you really okay with letting people push you around?” Sav shook her head sharply and watched as Petra stood. "You shouldn't let anyone tell you you're worthless." Petra didn't exactly look soft hearted when she aid this, but Sav knew it came from place of compassion- or something of the sort. Desperately, she tried to have a little bit of the dwindling fire within her. "I know I'm not worthless. But the people who speak to me this way, they don't and they'll never think differently. I am who I am, and i get treated the way I do because of it." Her voice wasn't meek, or quiet and she maintained careful eye contact with Petra the whole time, but Savvy was emotionally drained. She spent so much time covering her wounds and scars just to have them ripped open again. Over the years, she'd become so numb to people like the blonde that Sav just thought it to be normal. But it wasn't. And she wasn't numb anymore. Being angry takes up a lot more energy than not feeling anything at all.	[atrb=width,140] words , 580 words tagged , Petra! notes , sorry it took so long. Angry Sav ftw?!<3
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[petra12345]

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to speak in such a manner to a stranger?

Petra form a slight smile. "My mother taught me many things. One for instance, was to be seen not heard." Her smile form back into a scowl. " Not thing to learn from your mother at a young age." Why was she telling this girl this?

Who's being rude, now, dear?

"My apologies, sometimes honesty can be taken as being rude. It wasn't in my intentions to sound so." That was a lie. She wanted to take out her frustration and angrier on the poor hufflepuff.

"I know I'm not worthless. But the people who speak to me this way, they don't and they'll never think differently.

"Then prove them wrong?" It was as simple as that. "I am who I am, and i get treated the way I do because of it." When the young slytherin heard this. It made her laugh in disbelief. "You're treated that way because who you are. You honestly believe that?" She ask. "I may seem evil and cold but who I am deep inside that's not me. I was born in a different world and that comes with different obligations. I have to act like the way I do because others look at me and they except me to be what I was brought up to be."

She didn't tell the girl that she had to bury her true self in the process. They are times in her life where she wants to be like normal girls. Where she can make a mistake and laugh it off. Or just talking and laughing with other houses.

"As I see you choose to let people treat that way and your excuse is because who you are." Petra look at the girl. "Stand up for yourself. You don't have to be rude about it but say something. Say no to." Petra was pretty sure this girl said yes a lot to people.

Petra might as well be nice to this girl. She really hated nice people getting taken advantage of. She was really a nice person inside but sometimes she hated to seem nice. It meant she was weak and she really dislike being so.



notes; Sorry it took me forever to post. i got a job and then i got discorrected for a little

[maddi]

"My mother taught me many things. One for instance, was to be seen not heard. Not thing to learn from your mother at a young age." Savvy's mouth turned down into a slight frown, and she felt something of sympathy towards the girl. Mommy issues she knew very, very well. "My mother taught me a similar lesson." Her voice softened, any ferocity long gone. "She always told me magic was wasted on me, so the least i could do was sit quietly and try not to disgrace her good name any more than i did by being alive." She laughed without and hints of humor.

Perhaps this was a shared quality. Clearly Petra didn't think herself to be useless, but they seemed to both resent having their personalities repressed by their families. The greater difference was that Sav's had been scrubbed away almost entirely. Maybe if she pushed back harder, fought more, tried harder to be herself then her mother would accept her. Perhaps she would've been a Slytherin and not a disgrace. Maybe, maybe, maybe. She could 'what if' herself black and blue, as she'd done before, but in the end it would change her situation. The best she could do for herself was to embrace herself, and all that entailed, and stop giving in. Maybe she could do that. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

"Then prove them wrong?" Savvy smiled slightly, if only it was that easy. If only she knew how. Wistfully, she thought, if only she knew how not to act worthless. "You're treated that way because who you are. You honestly believe that?" She nodded slowly, not being able to come to any other conclusion."I may seem evil and cold but who I am deep inside that's not me. I was born in a different world and that comes with different obligations. I have to act like the way I do because others look at me and they except me to be what I was brought up to be." Before she could stop herself the words tumbled out; "I was brought up to be exactly what i am: looked down upon and spineless." She practically spat out the last word, resentment toward herself ever growing.

"Our worlds aren't so different." The words came out, barely above a whisper. It was the truth. Petra probably had more money than Savvy's family could ever imagine, but they did have similar social statuses- and for Sav's other siblings, similar expectations. "They're miles apart now, but I was supposed to be just like you. Cold and controlled." She tore her eyes away from Petra's face and stared at the ground. "My mother could smell weakness a mile away." A bitter smile formed as she continued, "That's what I am. A weakness, at least to her."

"As I see you choose to let people treat that way and your excuse is because who you are. Stand up for yourself. You don't have to be rude about it but say something. Say no to." Savvy nodded, slowly. Saying no sounded incredible. It sounded like freedom. Relocking her eyes with the blondes, she tilted her head in curiosity. "How do you do it? How do you lock yourself away, to be what's expected of you? At what point do you loose yourself, and become nothing more a hopeless submissive?" It wasn't so much targeted at Petra, but it was something she'd wondered most of her life, and it never seemed like the right time to ask.